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Should I Trust Him or Not?

By NaseebSupport

About User: Female 30, Chicago

I have been married before but my husband cheated on me and left me for another woman. Now after 3 years of divorce, I have met a decent guy who is interested in getting married to me but I cannot seem to be able to trust him. I trusted my ex-husband completely but he betrayed me and now I cannot trust anyone at all. I really like this man and he is everything I could ask for but something inside me is afraid of trusting him and facing betrayal. I am totally confused and have no idea what should be done. Will I never be able to trust another man? I even went to a psychiatrist after my first husband left me as I was completely devastated and needed help. Now I am thinking of having some sessions again to figure out if something is wrong with me. What do you guys think, should I go see a psychiatrist, refuse the guy or just take a blind leap of faith?


Note: Naseeb Members can send us the questions they want to ask on rida.fazal@naseebnetworks.com. We will post these questions for discussion on Naseeb. Identity of the user posting the question will be kept confidential, unless SPECIFICALLY mentioned otherwise.

   Comments: 35     Raters: 0     February 3, 2011 at 3:34am         

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The opinions expressed in this journal are of the author and not necessarily of Naseeb.

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  Comments on this journal

MahekChahek (February 7, 2011 at 8:42am)
lol @ Sipa

Bingo! Sipa, you said it word “wahabi”…....

Jeez, Gotty where is your stop button.....lol
G0T50NIT (February 7, 2011 at 2:56am)
can you translate this word you said to me, i dont understand what it means in english: 'wazandar alphaaz'
G0T50NIT (February 7, 2011 at 2:54am)
its funny you say that, because its a huge irony how fanatical women beating wahabis joined with radical feminazis against lil ol' me.

anyways i wrote a journal blog about how you constantly use the word mullah. let's be real, the fanatical 'mullahs' you speak of are really wahabi fanatics. moulana eidhi runs a charity in karachi. and when that poor village girl was gang raped in rural pakistan punjab, it was a village mullah who told her to go file a complaint at the police station.

sipa (February 6, 2011 at 9:46pm)
Jeez Got50, how did this become all about you. Must be a Wahabi plot. Watch out, they're everywhere
MahekChahek (February 6, 2011 at 12:22pm)
I hear ya....but I dont know any of these people:).
G0T50NIT (February 5, 2011 at 11:42pm)
the other spy is that white bitch, fake muslim 'amina_shahida' funny how she still uses her christian name' christy, which is short for her legal name, christina, a feminine form of the word christian haha. her dorky brown desi boyfreind, is a pure complete wahabi. am i supposed to believe this native of rural indiana, frickin hickville, all of a sudden got up and decided to 'convert' to wahabi fundamentalism out of the blue? why does she continue to use her christian name btw? one day just watch, your gonna see her bf's picture plastered all over the news as some kind of 'big fbi al qaida arrest', and you can then figure out how that was lol.

G0T50NIT (February 5, 2011 at 11:38pm)
do you know why anwar 'ali' perez became so obsessed with me? is an army soldier, and probably works for the feds. he is a fake mexican 'convert' muslim and he is there to spy on all of you and keep tabs on you for the feds. thats why he left naseeb, he found the core group to spy on. when i refused to interact with him, notice thats when he went bizerk. gee i wonder why?

G0T50NIT (February 5, 2011 at 11:36pm)
'wazandar alphaaz' - sorry, i dont know what this means.

btw someone from youtube spotted me on devon and we became friends after that. it turns out he had emailed me once.

MahekChahek (February 5, 2011 at 1:41pm)
Gotty, thank you and I appreciate your detailed explaination. You are a good human with a good heart:) I also understand your intention is not attack me so its all good even if you explain me things in wazandar alphaaz...lol

First of all I am not here to judge or defend anyone. I dont have any grudge against you and anyone on Naseeb. As I told you I am on Naseeb just to share,learn and have a good time.

It was you who asked me - hey Mahek did you hear about the new facebook group "Speak your mind"? That's when I questioned you. I am sorry if it caused any misunderstanding between us:)

So Gotty if I see you on Devon street would you respond to my hello?...lol
G0T50NIT (February 5, 2011 at 12:14am)
why is it that when i am attacked, when i am ganged up upon, NO ONE says jack? but if i RESPOND in return, which is what my journal is, a reply that you are more than welcome to email the url to your little internet friends, all of a sudden you all have something to say? this reminds me of hydro, who got upset because i questioned that agha khani ho, gulzar (twice married i might add, you should see her sister, ha!) writing to me 'but she is my freind!'. i mean does he say the same thing to her when she gripes about me? i really and highly doubt it!

khushi is a 2 faced woman and nothing more. funny how man-hating feminazis like her are also divorced. gee any connection there huh huh?

as far as my journal, those people deserve it, they chose to make things personal a long time ago. they take the internet waay too seriously, and i can do the same thing too.

and since these feminazi lesbo want to act like men, ill show them how a real man acts.

not run and hide, and gossip and cry and whine to admins or whatever. you stand your ground like a soldier.

you say to 'ignore' those you dont like. tell me how come you dont tell your internet friends the same things? or acting 2 faced is just another desi custom?

i did ignore anwar, i have asked him repeatedly on several occasions to leave me alone, but he couldnt stop and became obsessed with me.

you know i dont usually take things personally, and i dont hold personal grudges against anyone either. if i do have one, i let them know upfront. if i had a personal grudge against you, i would let you know it. yet here you are assuming that i do? that i can only assume must be the desi in you, and why you struggle so hard to in your attempts to 'understand' me.

so here is a word of advice.

in america, americans speak bluntly and are upfront, so long as you do it in front of a persons face. the worst thing you can do is to bad mouth someone behind their back.

it seems for desis, especially your beloved fobs, the reverse seems to be true.

and thus your failure at 'understanding' me.

this isnt meant to be an attack on you, which you will assume no doubt. its my attempt at trying to explain things to you and i hope that helps.
MahekChahek (February 4, 2011 at 3:27pm)
BTW, Jumma Mubarak to you Gotty:)
MahekChahek (February 4, 2011 at 3:22pm)
Gotty, I am sorry if I had been rude to you. I’m not here to defend anyone. If Khushi is a good friend then neither have you ever been disprespectful to me and I respect you for that. So don’t scare me away if we ever bump into each other on Devon street…lol.

Gotty, its not necessary we get along with everyone in life. I might dislike few too but bashing each other on je’s just makes it worst. Out of all the people I know - Khushi is a good person at heart. We all have our personal life aside from naseeb. Why come here to fight or cause drama. I am here to share, learn, laugh and log off:) I did meet few good people here who are like my family now.

Jeez …I sound like a spokesperson for Naseeb:)
G0T50NIT (February 4, 2011 at 2:32pm)
you want to know why she wrote that journal? she saw me commenting on someone's fb wall. she got all excite and begged me to come back. want to know why? because naseeb is soo dead, that she thought that i, 'mr. controversial' would bring it back to life. i told her specifically i had no interest in returning to this site for any number of reasons. never mind the nasty witches who ganged up on me and reported me day and night, plus its waaay too time consuming and i have better things to do. in fact i was shocked and surprised she even bothered me wit that email. i was polite and friendly with her, despite how she really feels about me along with her nasty group of INTERNET, i want to emphasize that, INTERNET friends. so i told her that naseeb would not let me back, then out of the blue she writes that journal. i said ok if you can get my account back then we will see. i thought there is no way in hell she would ever get my account back and laughed at her little journal. she even wrote the apology letter! ha! all that after i made her do it. wanna know why? because i had no desire to return at all. you dont think i could have easily made a different account? this id name is my 2nd account from my original, 'gotfiveonit' i.d. name. what she did, she did for purely selfish reasons and nothing more. and i refused to play her game and didnt give her the 'mr. controversy' that she wanted. im not homey D. klown, im not bozo the clown, this isnt the GRAND PRIZE GAME on wgn's channel 9, and you dont pay me to amuse you.

i was added to the group as a member for five whole days. in five whole days, i was mocked, attacked, insulted, and ganged up upon by a bunch of retards who think of me as their 'mortal enemy', people who do not know me, never met me, and never even chatted with me! talk about taking the internet waaay too seriously. that even my presence drove them insane!

you know i have real friends in the real world, i am a respected member of the community here in Chicago, i am a respected member at several masjids that i either attend or have attended in th past, going back to my youth! people from my old high school, from my old elementary school, former neighbors i grew up with from my childhood, black people, white people still remember me and you can easily find them in my fb friends list!

i have plenty of friends, i dont need to scour the internet for them from people who live hundreds if not thousands of miles away, some on the other side of god's only inhabitable planet in this grand universe!
MahekChahek (February 4, 2011 at 9:01am)
**goes back to work**:)
MahekChahek (February 4, 2011 at 8:53am)
Got: Jee, nahin I didnt mean in a dirty way.
Just curiosity sake hope I visit my family & friends in Chicago and bump into you on Devon street...lol! Why do you take pangaa with everyone here? I have been on Naseeb for more then two years and I fail to understand you:).

Speak you mind group most of the people are my good friends and when I wrote the comment I didnt know you had put up a je. Btw, I remember it was khushi who wrote a je to bring you back on Naseeb:). If you dont like something avoid or ignore the situation why write a nasty journal.
G0T50NIT (February 4, 2011 at 7:56am)
"I want to see after all aap cheez kya ho"

i keep wondering if thats a dirty joke LOL

yes the group is full of retarded ex-naseebers, please do tell them that i wrote that here. full of man hating sluts who got used and abused due to their promiscuous lifestyle aka drunk party girls who wasted the prime of their youth screwing around, usually with white boys they are not allowed to marry =).
MahekChahek (February 4, 2011 at 7:38am)
Jee, Mr G:). Yes, a friend added me to that group but I rarely comment. Oye,,,they all are my buddies and I guess you are also on that group;p.

Got, once in my life time I'd like to meet you in person:). I want to see after all aap cheez kya ho...lol!(just kidding). G, be nice;p
G0T50NIT (February 3, 2011 at 11:56pm)
hey mahek, are you aware of a group on facebook called 'speak your mind' (ya right) full of retarded ex-naseebers?
MahekChahek (February 3, 2011 at 7:39pm)
Z, sahee:)
ziryab (February 3, 2011 at 3:23pm)
M, I dont think it matters , shaadi say pehlay ya baad , aaj kal sub chalta hai