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Undecided in Love

By NaseebSupport
 
 

About User: Female - 30 - Indianapolis

Question:

I have been in a stable relationship for 2 years and I really love my boyfriend who is a very caring guy and the last two years have been full of happiness. Recently, he proposed to me and I said yes. But since then, I have been feeling like I gave the answer too soon as there are some unresolved issues which are confusing me.

The thing is that I still have feelings for my ex who broke up with me 4 years ago. I thought that I was over him but 6 months ago I accidently ran into him at a mutual friend’s wedding. We got to talking and all the feeling I thought had gone away, came rushing back. Since then we have been in touch and have even met for coffee twice. The more I talk to him, the more I feel that I love him. But then when I think about the way he broke up with me and left without any explanation, I think I am being a fool. He says he couldn’t get in touch because he had to leave the city in a hurry.

I have been thinking a lot and somehow I cannot convince myself that it I should stay away from my ex. I have not shared my feelings with my current boyfriend as I am sure he will not understand what I am going through. I am thinking of postponing my engagement party scheduled for next week so that I can have some more time to think about it. I love my fiancée but not the way I loved my ex. Is there any way to find out which feelings are true? I really need to decide soon or I might end up losing both.

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   Comments: 8     Raters: 16     October 26, 2010 at 2:34am         
 

3

 
 
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  Comments on this journal

Jezebel (November 9, 2010 at 6:57pm)
Zircon said it well -
 
Jezebel (November 9, 2010 at 6:55pm)
LOL at Raat - did the answer come??? :P
 
force_of_nature (October 26, 2010 at 2:27pm)
this is total bakwaas

totally agree with ZIRCON...dudette think logically...the dude broke up with you without any explanation...hasnt contacted you in almost 4 yrs...i mean wtf lol....have some self respect....grow up...forget the ex....and either deal with your current b/f or break it off with him and move on.
 
loveydovey786 (October 26, 2010 at 10:09am)
well one could add a journal, and ask the same thing to be honest, wish i knew how to do that too.
 
adil1011 (October 26, 2010 at 10:09am)
Adilalikhan

I think your ex will do the same thing to you once more. Maybe hes just tryin to see if he can "get you" again. Once you someone treats you like cra.p once, its likely to happen again. And leaving in a rush.. that just sounds like a lame excuse.
Seems like you were fine with the new bf till you met the old one again. Is it just something that was taken from you, and you couldnt attain at the time, and thats why its more attractive to you.
Im almost afraid to be conservative in this day and age, but I really dont want a wife who would ever have the conversation of "you cant tell me who I can or cannot be friends with," and this is exactly what I would be afraid of.
 
loveydovey786 (October 26, 2010 at 10:02am)
This depends on how and why you broke up, on. Okay suppose you broke up on the fact that you felt cheated, then he may cheat with you again. Sometimes couples part ways for petty little reasons, and when they look back they say, there was no strong reason behind the miss-communication. Forget the looks and appearance, rather those details which carry a further meaning in the relationship, i, would give a few valuable points, one trust, loyalty, understanding, similarities behind thoughts and opinions, likes and dislikes, ambitions,desires, who is nature wise similar to you , one might be more romantic than the other, and whose nature do you like the most, religious and cultural values, and which of the two has more respect for you. These are some of the things which will help you decide.
 
fat_cat (October 26, 2010 at 5:16am)
Khak - To activate public profile for business persona please do the following:
Business -> Settings -> Account Settings -> Activate public profile.

Also, your business contacts can interact with you on your business profile. Anyone that has only been added as a social friend will not be able to do so. You can change this by doing the following:
My Friends -> Change
 
fat_cat (October 26, 2010 at 2:55am)
Khak - 1. It isn't fat-cow but fat_cat.
2. You never asked me that question. You asked my why your business profile was not viewable by your friends and I replied to that question.
3. We have been publishing Ask Naseeb for the last five years and have real users, like yourself, who post these questions.
4. I am a product manager and not a content writer or the editor for Naseeb Vibes.