Village Journals
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
A Priest and a Doctor Were Golfing?
A Priest and a Doctor Were Golfing?
A priest and doctor were out golfing. The doctor gets up to take his first shot. He swings and misses the ball completely.
"God dammit, I missed," says the doctor.
The sky starts to darken a bit becoming overcast.
"Don't use the Lord God?s name in vain," says the priest.
"I am sorry, Father," replies the doctor.
The doctor steps up again to tee off and misses the ball once again.
"God dammit, I missed," says the doctor.The sky darkens even more and a low rumble resounds throughout the land.
"Don't use the Lord God's name in vain," says the priest.
"I am sorry, Father," replies the doctor.
Once again, the doctor tries to take a swing at the ball and completely misses. He throws his club to the ground and yells, "God dammit, I missed."
The heavens roared and the storm erupted, sending a lightning bolt down and straight into the priest, which struck him dead.
Then a booming voice arose from the sky and said, "Dammit, I missed."
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Odd Rabbi Out
These four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.
"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"
It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.
So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!" This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill."I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.
The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a VERY big sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"
The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"
"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."
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Caught on the Job
The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him.
Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, ?A-a-a-men!?
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Jesus is Watching You!
There was a burglar who broke into a home and started to gather the items he wanted to take. All of a sudden he heard, "Jesus is watching you!" He didn't see anything in the dark house, so he went on with what he was doing.
He heard, "Jesus is watching you!" again and then he really wondered who wassaying that. He turned on the flashlight, scanned the room, and finally saw a parrot.
"Did you say that?" asked the burgler.
"Yes," replied the parrot.
"By the way, what's your name?" the burgler inquired."Moses," answered the parrot.
"That's a strange name for a parrot. Who named you that?"
"The same people who named their rotweiller Jesus!"
A priest and doctor were out golfing. The doctor gets up to take his first shot. He swings and misses the ball completely.
"God dammit, I missed," says the doctor.
The sky starts to darken a bit becoming overcast.
"Don't use the Lord God?s name in vain," says the priest.
"I am sorry, Father," replies the doctor.
The doctor steps up again to tee off and misses the ball once again.
"God dammit, I missed," says the doctor.The sky darkens even more and a low rumble resounds throughout the land.
"Don't use the Lord God's name in vain," says the priest.
"I am sorry, Father," replies the doctor.
Once again, the doctor tries to take a swing at the ball and completely misses. He throws his club to the ground and yells, "God dammit, I missed."
The heavens roared and the storm erupted, sending a lightning bolt down and straight into the priest, which struck him dead.
Then a booming voice arose from the sky and said, "Dammit, I missed."
----------------------------------- -----------------
Odd Rabbi Out
These four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.
"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"
It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.
So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!" This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill."I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.
The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a VERY big sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"
The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"
"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."
----------------------------------- --------------------
Caught on the Job
The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him.
Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, ?A-a-a-men!?
----------------------------------- ----------------
Jesus is Watching You!
There was a burglar who broke into a home and started to gather the items he wanted to take. All of a sudden he heard, "Jesus is watching you!" He didn't see anything in the dark house, so he went on with what he was doing.
He heard, "Jesus is watching you!" again and then he really wondered who wassaying that. He turned on the flashlight, scanned the room, and finally saw a parrot.
"Did you say that?" asked the burgler.
"Yes," replied the parrot.
"By the way, what's your name?" the burgler inquired."Moses," answered the parrot.
"That's a strange name for a parrot. Who named you that?"
"The same people who named their rotweiller Jesus!"