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Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
A Social Quiz!!!
I have been contemplating about it for quite sometime that unfortunately Muslim society like many other societies follows the same materialistic principles but covers it with some pious looking reasons. A friend of mine told me something he experienced which just made it even more evident.
He mentioned that when he came to US, he was a devout Muslim, had a beard, would pray, fast regularly and avoid all the evils. Financially however he was not too stable (he was a brilliant and educated professional but his job at that time was just average) but was hardworking and had a track record of turning around difficult circumstances and achieving success. He wanted to get married and start a family, but nobody here valued him for the person what he was at that time.
Some families thought he was too religious, some thought he was not as religious as they wanted him to be and all that crap. He was kind of disheartened and disillusioned by all that. Living so far away from family and friends sometimes can be quite painful experience. He started suffering from chronic depression, he had nobody to talk to, because of the situation after 11 September even Muslims in the community were so scared that nobody would risk making friendship with a stranger. As a result worst happened and he kind of became so disillusioned that he started socializing more with non-Muslims and gave in to temptations as he just wanted to live like a normal person without any depression, although later he regretted some of his wrong choices.
Anyway the circumstances turned around for him, he made considerable progress in his career, doubled his earnings and all that. So he thought he should renew his efforts to settle down and start a family. Now when he is not as religious as he was before, has tinted his life with some wrong choices and actions and all that, guess what? Now Muslim families, strongly religious, moderately religious and not religious at all are very much interested in him. Even when he shares his mistakes and wrong choices, which he sincerely regrets, they don't care and they are being so generous in forgiving and overlooking all that.
He is really thrilled and wonders what changed overnight which made him such an "eligible" bachelor"? So everybody who is out here, give me your comments what you think has changed about him that he is much more desirable in the "community" than he was ever before?
He mentioned that when he came to US, he was a devout Muslim, had a beard, would pray, fast regularly and avoid all the evils. Financially however he was not too stable (he was a brilliant and educated professional but his job at that time was just average) but was hardworking and had a track record of turning around difficult circumstances and achieving success. He wanted to get married and start a family, but nobody here valued him for the person what he was at that time.
Some families thought he was too religious, some thought he was not as religious as they wanted him to be and all that crap. He was kind of disheartened and disillusioned by all that. Living so far away from family and friends sometimes can be quite painful experience. He started suffering from chronic depression, he had nobody to talk to, because of the situation after 11 September even Muslims in the community were so scared that nobody would risk making friendship with a stranger. As a result worst happened and he kind of became so disillusioned that he started socializing more with non-Muslims and gave in to temptations as he just wanted to live like a normal person without any depression, although later he regretted some of his wrong choices.
Anyway the circumstances turned around for him, he made considerable progress in his career, doubled his earnings and all that. So he thought he should renew his efforts to settle down and start a family. Now when he is not as religious as he was before, has tinted his life with some wrong choices and actions and all that, guess what? Now Muslim families, strongly religious, moderately religious and not religious at all are very much interested in him. Even when he shares his mistakes and wrong choices, which he sincerely regrets, they don't care and they are being so generous in forgiving and overlooking all that.
He is really thrilled and wonders what changed overnight which made him such an "eligible" bachelor"? So everybody who is out here, give me your comments what you think has changed about him that he is much more desirable in the "community" than he was ever before?
Comments on this journal
very forgiving to men giving them the audacity to think they can do whatever with their lives and then talk about Haj and repentance and women should just bow down to their wishes.
The Islamic guidance is to choose a partner who is most pious not the richest or most qualified.
I guess Decentguy I am at crossroads with you, we are asking different questions. But what I am saying is piety and morality are difficult to judge, and if u try do the right thing and think you ae helping someone who is decent but not financially accomplished but u can still be wrong in your judgement so maybe people go for criteria that are more objective
and materialistic.
When it comes to my friend, even he thinks he was a better person before and he doesn't even like what he has become but the irony is that when he used to like himself, others would not like him because he didn't have money.
I feel we as a society are responsible for such tragic situations, when we fail to give a helping hand to someone who really needs it.
so very surprized when I am not so accepting of wrong choices and everybody has some excuse or other for making them...... and tell me I am the one with the problem.
Ofcourse if one truly regrets and makes a definite change in life for the better , then one can make an effort to forego past errors. Most of them just say whatever in an effort to have a dependable wife and family after the wild flings as they start to worry about their old age. I dont meant to judge the person in question, just speaking from experience.
There is also the other side of the coin. I have considered people only for who I thought they were
or their perceived piety even if they are much less qualified, financially unstable and are divorced, etc etc
and then find they are no different in reality.
Was it Gibran who said: If you aim for the stars you wont end up with a handful of dust either
(Am sure thats not quite what he meant but maybe thats what the smart girls and families are doing, goin for the shine and glitter ;) hoping what they can see is atleast what they will get)