Act Like A Man, Not Like A Dog

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Act Like A Man, Not Like A Dog

Quite a few of my female muslim friends, I am sad to say have come across "muslim" men of deplorable character who take advantage of them (i.e. harrass them verbally or worse) and then blame it on the women for dressing inappropriately while using Islam as a scapegoat for not being able to control their urges (e.g. they should be wearing Hijab, etc). What's worse is that some of the females (often like rape victims) blame themselves even if they were dressed fairly conservatively.

I am of the opinion that men have the sole responsibilty to control their "urges" and "actions" when it comes to conducting themselves around women, irrespective of how they dress or behave (as perceived by these men). Allah blessed most of us with the intelligence to decipher b/t right and wrong. A fact that separates us from animals, and as a result, one would hope, would allow us to keep our primal tendencies in check and not engage in unwanted/non-consensual acts.

Thoughts people?

Sorry for the heavy topic but it really pisses me off to hear these stories and how often it happens, especially given that we are "muslims". Love to foster conversation in hopes of at least preventing it from happenning to one more person.

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Shazia04, that article was shocking. Are we living in medieval times that these types of activities should be going on in courtrooms? That is absolutely sick! It is the same thing as asking a man who tries to kill a woman but doesn't suceed in killing her to marry her, to escape imprisonment.

That is absolutely horrific and makes me want to throw up. These bastards should be castrated, publicly flogged, dismembered before letting them go to rot out the rest of their miserable lives (i.e. death is a penalty which is too humane).

blargh, thats some sick twisted s#it

thought you'd be interested in this. in India, a rapist trying to avoid jail offers to marry his victim to 'save' her from dishonour - and the judges haul her up to answer this proposal. disgusting. read more at: www.timesonline.co.uk

as mystic and vv said, rape is rape is rape. not consenting means rape regardless of any other factors. there was a case in italy a few years back where the judge said this woman hadnt been raped because her jeans were so tight that she'd have had to have helped her attacker take them off... has anyone read "lucky" by alice seabold (she also wrote "the lovely bones" - is about her trauma of rape and it's horrific to read but well written)

Women working in the sex industry, as ladies of negotiable affection ;) or as apparel disposition executives ;) ;) or as go-go dancers :D ) our opening themselves up for abuse and/or exploitation by men anyways. Hazards of the job.

Manas, you do have a point. I have met 2 women who are into sexually "deviant" activities...they said that they were "swingers", meaning that they were married to men, but they had "open relationships." Not only were both parties allowed to sleep with other people, but they would often have group sex, and sleep with members of the same sex, etc. Anyways, these 2 women both admitted to having been sexually abused as children.

Thanks for the props all. Paradise re: Prostitutes. I could not speak intelligently on how Islam views it since I am not that well read on religion (there was that one who is going to heaven for feeding a hungry dog). Again in my humble opinion rape/harrassment is one crime that is unjustified regardless of who it is being directed (prostitutes, strippers, etc). I used to be a peer counselor for acquaintance rape victims in college and my perspective is the following: that women's bodies are their own and "no" means "no" period (even husbands should respect that). I always use the analogy of a car. I may buy a nice car and show it off. I can take the top down to let you see more of it. I may take you for a ride in it and may even at times let you borrow it by yourself. Bottom line though, I can leave the car parked outside your house with the keys in the ignition and the engine running but the minute you take it without my permission you are stealing my car. I won't go into whether it was a wise decision to leave my car alone like that b/c that brings a whole another separate set of issues! ; )

Haven't done it or seen it happen thus far.

Paradise, many whores/prostitutes are individuals who have suffered sexual abuse as children. this violation of their basic human rights causes them to become dissociative when engaging in sexual activity. as a result, they view sex w/ apathy. some become as extremely dissociative as to develop a different "persona" for sexual activity. this way, they disconnect from the trauma of their previous abuse.

well-written Bud! why imprioson the civilized when the criminals roam freely?

Beautifully put, Rob. For some reason, your posting reminded me of the scene in the lame-a** movie Pretty Woman where the guy played by Jason Alexander tries to "rape the prostitute." I wonder how Islam would look at that. I also wonder about how many strippers have been raped by the guys who go see them perform at strip clubs, or get the lap dances from them.........I know this is off the topic, but I wanted to see if anyone wanted to comment on these type of situations where actual whores (and nude strippers are considered whores, in my opinion) are raped.

Yeah, THAT Doctor's article. I commented there also, though people were ignoring me, maybe because I was there only to amuse myself ;)

oh yeah, that so-called doctor's vibe, neWermind

raheel, i dont get it? what does epistomology have to do w/ it

Styx: An "Epistemological Hijab" for men, so to speak... I learnt that word from a recent vibes article :D

VV: I assume this happened in the states, where your female muslim friends are living. Imagine what it's like in places where there are many muslim people, mid-east, sub-comtinent etc. and social etiquette has a bizarre definition.

Thank God for you VV!!! Well written and to the point. Why should women have to shoulder the responsibility for not only their own sexuality but also men's sexuality? What happened to self-control? Allah made us superior to beasts, now some of the men out there should try and live up to that

Bud, our real delimma is that God gave us two heads but enough blood to run one at a time.

As far as hijab goes, in Islam there is hijab for BOTH men and women. If women are supposed to cover themselves in order to prevent unnecessary harassment and not "temp" it is also incumbent on the men to observe hijab by not looking and by controlling their urges. As I always maintain, human nature is weak but it does not mean that can become an excuse to give in to our "lower" tendencies. Allah has provided us with the "nafs" which in itself is a constant form of guidance from Allah. We are, as Allah has said, his best creation here, we are the superior animal and have the ability to exercise control. In fact that is our purpose of being here, to control our "nafs" so that we may evolve to be all that we have the potential to be.

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Act Like A Man, Not Like A Dog

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