Afgparty chic,

One losing their culture is not as detrimental as one losing their religion. Although there are many distinguishing traits in "Afghan" culture, notable ones being, respect for one's parents/elders, dressing in appropriate attire, honor (ghayrat) and courage, and so on are all borrowed from its real source, Islaam. Furthermore there are occuring traits found amongst Afghans that may even be seen as purely Afghan culture that is foreign to Islaam or even flatly contradict it.

Therefore if you lose Islaam you have lost Afghan culture, at least all the great and majestic aspects, wherein if you have lost Afghan culture (the languages, the food, certain social mannerisms, etc etc) you haven't necessarily lost Islaam.

I hope that helps.

You can't blame the youth. I have met many Muslim families in the US where culture is not important to them. They want to be known as "Muslim Americans" and not be linked to any cultural group. They only place importance on Islam. Then there are those who are traditional and adore their culture and motherland. They make sure their children grow up speaking their mother tongue and appreciate and understand their culture.

The environment you are raised in and the types of people you associate with will shape who you are. People who grow up in poor ghetto neighborhoods with both of their parents working full time jobs will naturally develop the ghetto life style. They spend most of their time with their friends so of course they will adapt that life style. There are number other factors that go into why people are the way they are.

Afghans are weird, I especially am annoyed by the ones who constantly go on & on & on about how worse our culture and our youth is getting, and then up and compare Afghans to our other neighboring countries. I just want to yell in those peoples faces, "maybe if you stopped ragging on your own youth and did something with your own sorry self, our culture and country wouldn't be such a sham to you"

i have come to the conclusion that afghans should stop breeding.

Salam, one more thing. "Heritage in culture" is lost because of the older generation not passing it on, so we can't blame that on the youth. Lisa, I am sure that there are elders out there that view you as having no respect for your culture, so I think you should give the youth a chance by setting an example and not generalizing. As I grew up, I felt totally alienated because many Afghans criticized the fact of my weak Pushtu and "Americanized" personality. Like I said before, it is a matter of SOCIALIZATION, which is a direct product of their surroundings, (home, school, media, neighborhoods, etc.). On the other hand, I also understand where you are coming from since Afghan teens were involved in a stabbing and another young Afghan man punched a fellow Afghan singer; the singer tragically dies after landing on his head. Unfortunately, many parents today do not share quality time with their children. Rather, it is too much time in front of the TV or neglectful parenting. Salam.

This is my last posting (sorry for the multiple posts), but someone mentioned that we can't go back - we can and we should! I guess that this is a topic for another journal.

On another note, I also think the loss of heritage may also be attributed to the 'control' factor. Up until I went to Afg (and lived there), I felt that my Afghan identity was one that others (usually older Afghans) could take away at will by saying, "You're so Americanized & etc." But once I went there, I felt it became rooted in my soul. Being Afghan is something that is mine and no one can take away, just like being Muslim (although not to the same degree, of course). In hindsight, disliking my culture (which I actively did) was a rebellion to having my identity yanked around. Perhaps this is something to keep in mind with younger Afghans. If your Afghan culture is all 'what you should do', it's certainly not what a 15 year old will want to move towards...

I haven't felt that at all. I know a number of Afghan youth who have a tremendous respect for our culture and our religion. But I think there is a difference between respect and keeping the culture. Culture changes and we can't expect our people to hold on to our culture - especially if we aren't planning on ever going back to Afghanistan. I certainly am influenced by American culture and am not 'completely' Afghan. But I am proud of my culture and it is a part of me. I also hope to move back (Inshallah), and my dual identity as American and Afghan is a fact and hopefully, a strength. I also agree with Naaz, 12-18 is a tough age (for me 12-24!) and I am only now feeling comfortable in my own skin (alhamdulilah). Good question though, it's always good to discuss.

Migration means you lose part of your culture while at the same time gaining parts of the culture(s) of the country you move to. It's not fair to say that Afghan youth don't respect their culture or heritage because honestly, it's not completely theirs anymore. The lives of youth here are drastically different than what their lives would have been like in Afghanistan so it seems natural for them to have differences in outlook and values. No matter how much some parents (including my own) would like to think otherwise, we're Afghan Americans not Afghans if that makes any sense. As far as Afghan kids thinking they're everything but Afghan, it's just something you go through as you're growing up. Being different isn't fun so most kids will try to fit in with the other kids. I think we've all been there at some point or another. Eventually, most people come to terms with who they are and accept their heritage, generally selectively. And seeing how we're not in Afghanistan and most of us don't really consider it home, I don't see how you could realistically expect much else.
Also, because I can't see anyone bringing this up, I just wanted to say that I've kind of noticed a double standard in terms of gender and acculturation and not just for Afghans. Girls are the ones who really get hounded on remembering who they are in terms of getting additional restrictions put on us because of cultural biases and baggage. If an Afghan girl acts like a typical American teenager, the response to that is much more negative than if her brother were the one acting like the American teenager. If anyone gets what I'm talking about and can put it more articulately, I appreciate it.

Dr. Riq, Salam. Ditto, my Pushto is weak and my Farsi is almost non-existant. The only Afghans acquaintances I have are my close relatives. In general, I could never relate to Afghans my age. Not that I disliked them, there were no commonalities what so ever. Salam.

I cannot speak Pushto, and suffer with humiliation every time theres a wedding and I have to explain "Ze pukhto poishem, anoo liga liga khaberi kom".

I think those of us living in the West are in a greater disposition than the other Asian communities, as we ourselves are minorities within minorities (speaking from a British perspective). The only Pashtun friends I have are my cousins, no one else around here to practise the language on a social level. It can also be attributed to a lack of Afghan media?

Salam. It is not only Afghans, it is youths from all cultures, ethnicities, and races. Factors such inappropriate parenting, the media, and learning through socialization (Vygotsky's Sociocultural Theory) dramatically affect our youth today.

I have seen the same thing lately. A lot of the younger Afghans think they are Mexican, Black, White....anything BUT Afghan. It's very sad. I have also heard of lots of cultures sending their children back home to relearn their culture. One of my Portugues employees was born in the US, but was sent back home at the age of ten. He came back when he was 16. I have also seen several Afghans do the same thing and it has helped a lot. However, most of the Afghans who have really completely lost their cultural identity have done so with the help of their families. I have seen too many parents encourage their children to forget about 'being Afghan'. And even worse, I have seen many praise and encourage their children who have converted to other religions. In their words... "Musilmani bisyar pasrafta ast." They say they want their children to be modern... Unfortunately this mind frame is not rare among our Afghans, it is actually VERY common now. And with parents like that, can you really blame the youth for forgetting who they are and where they came from?

the age itself is a big factor to consider when looking at their attitudes...12-18 is a rough age anywhere....but if the family structure is well in tact...then these kids will grow out of it just like some of us did....

a lot of pakis who I know who lost their culture were send back to pak to re-learn it. the youth of this day and age have nothing to go back to if they are lost. Afghanistan hasn't been safe since the king left power.

what about those that were not raised in Afghanistan - those whom have been raised in the states, Canada, Europe, Australia....etc.

I was born in the states and enjoy as well as take in as much of my hertiage and cultural that I can, same for the generation of Afghans before me (my older cousins and siblings) it just seems as the ones I ran into today (12-18) are on a completely different mind set.

They have seen nothing but war for the past 25 years, so I don't blame them.