Village Journals
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Bad jokes on Arabs :'(
Ya jam3a I was bored out of my mind at work, and searched for some jokes and I found these jokes on ARABS!
Arabs
Useful Phrases To Know When Traveling In Arab Countries:
1. AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOFTAN - Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.
2. FEKR-GABUL CARDAN DIVAT RAEH CUSH DIVAR - I'm delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.
3. TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM - The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.
4. FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAAYEH MOHEMA RAJEBEH KESHAVARHMAN - If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages, I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public
Arabs for Dummies
Once an Arab went to the emergency room with the tip of his Index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," the arab replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened.
So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
Unleashed
Once there was a train, which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks. Suddenly the train deviated from the tracks, went onto the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified.
On the next railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be an Arab.
He was questioned . He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after blowing the horn, flashing the lights etc.
The authorities questioned : Are you mad! Just to save the life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger. You should have run that person over.
The Arab said : That is exactly what I had decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train got real close.
The complete Arab
An American, an Italian and an Arab were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building...
They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The Arab opened his lunch and said, "Dry bread and dates again. If I get dry bread and dates one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too.
The Arab opens his lunch, sees dry bread and dates and jumps to his death also..
At the funeral..... The American's wife is weeping...She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!
The Italian's wife also weeps and says " I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Arab's wife...
"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He used to cook his own lunch!"
and yet the worse of dem all:
Why do the Arabs always lose wars with Israel ??
You ever see a camel that could outrun a cadillac ?
What do Arabs do on a Saturday night?
Sit under palm trees and eat their dates.
Why don't Arabs get hemorrhoids?
Because they are such perfect assholes.
Why, in Khadafi land, don't they teach driver's ed. and Sex ed.
in the same day?
It would be too hard on the camel.
Did you hear about the Ayatollah Khomeini Doll?
Wind it up and it takes Ken and Barbie hostage.
Why can't you circumcise an Iranian?
Because there's no end to those pricks.
Why do they call Camels the ships of the desert?
Because they're full of Iranian semen.
How do you get an Iranian girl pregnant?
Come on her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
What do a cue ball and the Ayatollah Khomeini have in common?
You have to hit 'em pretty hard with a stick
to get any english out of 'em.
What goes plop-plop fizz-fizz?
Libyan Jets
How do Palestinian mothers calm children during thunderstorms?
They just tell them its the village being shelled again.
How do you tell when an Iranian girl is menstrating?
she only wears one sock.
HOW SAD AND SICK!!!
check this link where they mislead others teaching them bad arab words: utah.indymedia.org
Arabs
Useful Phrases To Know When Traveling In Arab Countries:
1. AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOFTAN - Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.
2. FEKR-GABUL CARDAN DIVAT RAEH CUSH DIVAR - I'm delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.
3. TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM - The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.
4. FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAAYEH MOHEMA RAJEBEH KESHAVARHMAN - If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages, I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public
Arabs for Dummies
Once an Arab went to the emergency room with the tip of his Index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," the arab replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened.
So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
Unleashed
Once there was a train, which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks. Suddenly the train deviated from the tracks, went onto the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified.
On the next railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be an Arab.
He was questioned . He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after blowing the horn, flashing the lights etc.
The authorities questioned : Are you mad! Just to save the life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger. You should have run that person over.
The Arab said : That is exactly what I had decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train got real close.
The complete Arab
An American, an Italian and an Arab were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building...
They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The Arab opened his lunch and said, "Dry bread and dates again. If I get dry bread and dates one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too.
The Arab opens his lunch, sees dry bread and dates and jumps to his death also..
At the funeral..... The American's wife is weeping...She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!
The Italian's wife also weeps and says " I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Arab's wife...
"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He used to cook his own lunch!"
and yet the worse of dem all:
Why do the Arabs always lose wars with Israel ??
You ever see a camel that could outrun a cadillac ?
What do Arabs do on a Saturday night?
Sit under palm trees and eat their dates.
Why don't Arabs get hemorrhoids?
Because they are such perfect assholes.
Why, in Khadafi land, don't they teach driver's ed. and Sex ed.
in the same day?
It would be too hard on the camel.
Did you hear about the Ayatollah Khomeini Doll?
Wind it up and it takes Ken and Barbie hostage.
Why can't you circumcise an Iranian?
Because there's no end to those pricks.
Why do they call Camels the ships of the desert?
Because they're full of Iranian semen.
How do you get an Iranian girl pregnant?
Come on her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
What do a cue ball and the Ayatollah Khomeini have in common?
You have to hit 'em pretty hard with a stick
to get any english out of 'em.
What goes plop-plop fizz-fizz?
Libyan Jets
How do Palestinian mothers calm children during thunderstorms?
They just tell them its the village being shelled again.
How do you tell when an Iranian girl is menstrating?
she only wears one sock.
HOW SAD AND SICK!!!
check this link where they mislead others teaching them bad arab words: utah.indymedia.org
Comments on this journal
I meant the first paragraphs,were they supposed to be Arabic