Weddings and funerals - you bet, unless that somehow involves doing haram on your part.

Non-religious holidays and other holidays - what is your intent? To blend in? To honor a family tradition? Does it involve committing haram? Does it take you away from the dhikr of Allah swt?

Intention matters a lot. Lots of Muslims all over the world, not just in Arab countries, observe the birth of the Prophet (saw). Just because the Prophet (saw) didn't do it does not automatically make it bi'dah (innovation that is haram).

Try not to over analyse these things, you will give yourself a headache and annoy your family. (Worse yet you might convince them you joined some weird cult like thing that encourages you to avoid your family - a cousin did it.) I was concerned about a few of these things too before I reverted. I was reassured that Islam is not about giving up anything it is about sharing in the many blessings that Allah has given us. My family has welcomed my Muslim friends into their homes. The last 2 Christmas' my uncle invited my friends to his home too. Especially now that the family is getting older and there are no little ones around, they consider it a blessing to have them around. Years ago a Christian Pastor was asked about the history of the Christmas tree being once worshiped as a pagan god. He said that as long as you don't bow down and worship it, everything will be ok. Just accept it at face value as a thing of beauty and remember the happy memories associated with it. Don't think of it as a god, because as we know it is NOT. (I'm sure your Christian family members don't think of it as a god either.) Last Halloween we had a 1/2 dozen little spidermen and fairy princess at my parents house, everyone was happy including the dog. Its not so much we are celebrating a holiday its more like we are celebrating our time together as family, friends and a community. You are going to need to pick your battles wisely or else you will be beating yourself up continously. Try to look at it from your families perspective, they spent their entire adult lives and resources taking care of you. Now suddenly they are getting older and you don't want to participate in all the things they hold dear. How are they supposed to feel? Relax, if you approach the subject with warmth, love and acceptance you will receive the same in return. Plus, Allah will bless you for honoring your parents in a peaceful loving manner.

One more thing if you don't like what is on the menu bring a dish to pass. I hope this helps.

Salaams everyone. I explained to my mother that I am only supposed to celebrate the two Eids, and she respects my decision. She still gets me gifts on holidays, but she is not disappointed when I don't get her and the family gifts for holidays. I just give her gifts at other times; so she knows that I still love her and think about her besides just on holidays.

see i actually attended a religuiious ceremony at the time of the prophets pbuh birthday last yeaer... and they had BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!!! THAT shocked me!!! needless to say i refused to attend the ceremony this year. at the end of the day the way i see it is the prophet pbuh passed away many years ago to have a ceremony where many people sit together and recite the quran on this occassion i dont have a problem with. but what i do have a problm with is people celebrating this with a birthday cake!!! its almost bordering on paganism since the prphet pbuh is no longer alive. one of my friends told me it was unislamic to celebrate birthdays since it was a year closer 2 your death taht ur celebrating..

I celebrate Mohammed's birthday (Milad un Nabi). There's a huge number of Muslims, and actually most of them *not* Arabs, who do this. Try not to be too shocked ;) I also "celebrate" birthdays of family members, and go to weddings and funerals. However, I do not celebrate holidays of other religions, although I don't pretend they don't exist either. I have non Muslim friends who remember Eid and Ramadhan for me, are they somehow betraying themselves by doing so? I don't do Thanksgiving, but that is for historical/political reasons-- it, to me, is the holiday I personally feel a great distaste for. Same with "Columbus Day", but also for the same reasons. I do, however, make a point of remembering other times such as mother's day and MLK's birthday and Ceasar Chavez day as well. I don't think it's haram to do so either-- no one is certainly making it any sort of religious thing, and there is nothing wrong with voluntarily choosing to remember or give respect and love to a person who is good, or did something great, or who we love, etc.

On another note- there's plenty of secular holidays worldwide in the Muslim world, whether it be a mother's day type of thing, a historical commemoration, etc. No one obviously sits there and calls it a religious obligation, and so therefore cannot be put under the category of "unislamic innovation" that so many are hasty to label.

Do others involve your non-Muslim families in your Eid celebrations at all? If so, how? If not, is it because they are unwilling or have not expressed interest in sharing these with you?

Wa Alaikum Salam wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatu! This is a good topic :) Personally I have been thinking about this a lot recently. As far as I know, the origins of thanksgiving differ in Canada and the USA. In the USA it's the settlers thanking the natives for teaching them how to survive here in North America. In Canada www.twilightbridge.com I remember when I first reverted I called it the "safe" holiday :) As for Birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, I still "celebrate" these, and my intentions here are to make my family happy and at peace with my choice of religion, I see no harm in having a family dinner together and giving a nice card (this is how my family celebrates these things, nothing huge, but it's nice) and usually serving the birthday person or Mom or Dad's favourite meal. My Mom was especially hurt when she read online that Birthdays and Father's Day are "haram." Alhamdulillah she agreed to ask me these questions instead of 'net surfing in the future ;) I think I understand the arguments against these things, but I think intentions are important here, and not celebrating these would really upset my family, I think part of being good/kind to them is celebrating things that they find important when I see no religious reason not too - when my mother celebrates my birthday, her intent is to remember her happiness when I was born and all of the things she has shared with me over the years, not to imitate some pagan ritual :) She tells me the story of the day I was born and the day they brought me home, etc...I think this is sweet! Sorry this is getting so long! As for Christmas and Easter, I have no idea about these yet as haven't experienced either as a Muslim yet. I'm looking forward to reading about the experiences of others on these. My family is not religious about them, it's all very commercial and essentially is a time when most in my family are off of work and we can visit - but the reason they are all off of work is because others view it as a religious time :S I need a good way to deal with these times nicely! As for weddings and funerals, I will attend these inshaAllah and just not do the "religious" stuff and pray in my own way. This will be easy inshaAllah as we have very little in terms of religious traditions at these events.