Commitmentphobia

Login to find out (May 4, 2005 at 5:00am)

"Closer" was quite an interesting movie...I don't know whether I liked it or disliked it...it was a raw, to-the-point depiction of the ways in which romantic relationships have become degenerate and corrupt nowadays.

Login to find out (May 2, 2005 at 7:23pm)

Sanam... oops, I mean Manas: watch "High Fidelity", it's molded me into the man I am today :P and it's set in Chicago ;) ... Shazia: is idolising an ex-girlfriend, a sign of a commitmentphobe?

Login to find out (May 2, 2005 at 5:51pm)

haven't seen high fidelity. if i were to pick a character that exhibits CP tendencies, i would say a textbook case is Big's character from Sex and the City. there's also Jude Law's character in "Closer."

Login to find out (May 2, 2005 at 3:27pm)

i've seen high fidelity and read the book. according to manas's description, it would seem that the john cusack character has definite commitmentphobic tendancies. he over-idolised one of his previous relationships too didnt he?

Login to find out (May 2, 2005 at 10:57am)

Paradise, sharing different rooms is definitely a sign of insecurity regarding intimacy. according to the "textbooks," this dude is probably afraid that distance is the only thing that will make him more attractive to the other partner.

Login to find out (May 2, 2005 at 10:54am)

rejecting-the-hot-woman phenomenon is a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) characteristic. NPD is one of two scenarios causing commitment phobia...refer to my comments in the first 2 or 3 pages. In addition to NPD, there are also another category of commitment phobes who cannot handle intimacy b/c of a strong and subconscious fear of rejection. these folks are usually ppl who have suffered from poor parenting, abuse, or something traumatic or another. these folks feel the need to run before the other person dumps them. what's unusual about this second category is that they usually flee when the relationship is at its best.

Login to find out (May 1, 2005 at 8:05pm)

There used to be a tmie when it was "she's not into you", like say in a nightclub, guy apporaches girl, she turns away, guy moves on to the next target. The tables appear to be turning, yipee. Is it satisfying to reject a hot woman? Who knows ... Is that film HIGH FIDELITY a good portrait of "Commitment-phobia"? Great movie.

Login to find out (May 1, 2005 at 7:30pm)

I know a commitment phobe very, very, well......often they are emotionally disturbed, have a lot of excess baggage, and TONS of issues to deal with...they are also often immature, and selfish....some of them are very unpleasant people, and the one that I know well has weirded me out many times with the odd things he says about women...he once told me that if he ever got married, he would want him and his wife to have their own separate bedrooms!

Login to find out (May 1, 2005 at 11:44am)

also, "he's just not that into you," is a mantra for women to move on. which is exactly what women should be doing, but when involved w/ a commitment phobe who keeps yo-yo-ing back and forth over the course of months, even years, moving on becomes an insurmountable ordeal. at least initially.

Login to find out (May 1, 2005 at 11:43am)

"He's just not that into you" is a great book. however, the problems it refers to is how women sit around and obsess over why a relationship ENDED. relationships w/ commitment phobes do NOT end. these folks keep coming back after the supposed "end" of the relationship, will say and do all the right things to win the partner over again, and will just as easily and suddenly back out again w/o an apparent reason. when the partner asks to talk things over or asks questions, the commitment phobe will avoid all conversation. this is NOT the subject of "he's just not that into you."

Login to find out (May 1, 2005 at 10:28am)

Superman, what are "meat and crackers analytics"? Never heard of the phrase.....am i out of the loop?

Login to find out (April 30, 2005 at 11:22pm)

true brainvslove - but i disagree with what some people are saying about linking THAT to comitmentphobia. there are some people who do have a fear of committing to marriage, etc eventhough they are madly in love. I'd say baba is right and the majority are afraid to take the leap... but although afraid, most swallow that fear and do it. BUT it is not always that "he is just not that into you" AT ALL. maybe just for second dates or going from casual dating to a monogomous relationship

Login to find out (April 30, 2005 at 9:50pm)

CF, spot on in ur comment starting with "I've just actually read the VE...". PIMPLEPOO, is that what the book really says??? Not really. look at the title, it tells women to wake up and stop giving each other poor excuses when a man is waffling around. when he is being evasive and distant, it does NOT mean he is confused, it only means he's simply not that into u".

Login to find out (April 30, 2005 at 9:30pm)

Sometimes I think we all are commitmentphobes, slowly edging out others few at a time off of our collective iceberg just to make sure the sea lions are gone for good.

Login to find out (April 30, 2005 at 5:41pm)

For those just chiming in: NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is more than just a rare and serious disease. The illustrious Styx (yessh!) knows 3, and Manas does a superb job of tying them to the phobia to commitments. The analysis is really worth the read. Styx provides the spice of Positive Feedback Loop to Manas' meat and crackers analytics. (Too bad its already on the next page..) If only we could vote on and *preserve* amazing commenteries from every Journal, for perusers/browsers to benefit from.. No to mention the occasional superheroine visiting from beyond the orbit of Venus .. *wink* (Oops Ladies, I was about to reveal your identities@@)

Login to find out (April 30, 2005 at 12:27am)

I don't like to read books pertaining to "relationship issues"... prefer to observe my immediate surroundings, because they're more applicable to me than a book written by someone half-way across the world in an environment alien to me. Personally, the book sounds patronising. But I feel I must read it, because instead of it being a book reflective of urbane women, it's actally going to mold an urbane woman's psyche, and then I'm gonna have to deal with said urbane women, since I'm surrounded by them. Damn you, bloody authors!

Login to find out (April 30, 2005 at 12:01am)

"Bug powder dust an' mugwump jism,
And the wild boys runnin' 'round Interzone trippin'.
Letter to control about the Big Brother,
Try like hard to not blow my cover."

Login to find out (April 29, 2005 at 11:05pm)

He's just not that into you is a wonderful, funny, insightful book. I heard about it on TV and got it today at Barnes and Chernobyl. Quick read-2 hrs max. Surprisingly, it is a great pick me up book. Basically, it says you're too good to put up with the typical confusedfella (no insult intended). There is no such thing as committmentphobia- when a man is really into you, he will call, write, fly, committ, etc. So believe in the goddess you are and wait for the guy who is crazy about you and willing to show it!

PS, love Linus- he's from the University of Chicago, but with respect to his Vit C theory, with a water soluble vitamin, you pee out after you saturate, so megadoses don't really stay in your system. This doesn't explain why I do it for a cold.....

Login to find out (April 29, 2005 at 10:09pm)

By the way, the questions I posed are rhetorical.

Login to find out (April 29, 2005 at 9:19pm)

Can your average man really sweep a woman off her feet in today's modern contemporary setting? Is your average man even bothered to go that far? I hear the word ASEXUAL bandied around alot these as well! And also that "he's just not that into you" phrase; why isn't he that into you?

Village Journals

Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.