Begsy, I'm saying sooner or later (for me preferably sooner.. ) you have to tell all.. or as close to all as you're both comfortable talking about/ listening to... you don't want to enter a longterm/ eternal relationship with someone to find their 'skeletons' coming out at that point.. nor would they be able to stand yours doing the same... also I read somewhere on the net... a religious scholar saying tell all about your past early on, this is not stuff you want to save for 6 months into the relationship.. I feel, yeah maybe too much early on may be a mistake, but if you have deal breakers (drink/ drugs/ 37 ex girlfriends or whatever) you need to clear that early on.. before you get involved.. likewise tell him as much possible before he gets emotionally attached to you.. otherwise he will get p!ssed off.. and upset and may back off then anyway... I'm sure the right person for evry1 exists.. and we need to be honest with ppl so we can find the one who can take us as we are (unless both parties are happy being kept in the dark....?)

i'm not talking about my past! the past is past.. and i'm about to turn the grand young age of 34 very soon indeed...

So your saying be honest and open about everything Labs?

LABS PLEASE SAY 31 IS NOT OLD,,, I TURNED 29 AND AM SEARCHING FOR WHITE HAIR,,NONE YET..... SAYING THIS I USUALLY END UP DATING THE YOUNGER ONES 26+ NOW,,,,,

heheh begsy.. he salaamed me on naseeb and I said hi back..! funny since most of us hate/ ignore salaams.. don't worry I will be investigating the brother/ cousin angle for all my mates' benefit at some point.. :) I don't know about keeping quiet about intentions or past though as this is where we get burned.. the more shy we are (or the less we want to tell them about we have 'been up to' previously), the more surprises we may get from them.. in terms of how many relationships they've had before, how casual they were about their partners and their feelings, and how uninterested they are in viewing you as marriage material... I think we've all been there.. I for one am too old for games (at the grand ole age of 31) ..

Wow Labs!..where did you find him, has he any brothers?

totally agree with missy... focus on the future - perhaps dont mention your intentions on first date.. let that be for you two to see if you get on..

i think you should be honest about things,,, but not toooo honest tooo quick,,about past things you should keep it brief and not give out tooo much detail as past is past and you always learn from it!!

phew .. thanks.. i chatted to this guy i'm meeting next week .. and he repeated when i asked him (again today) why he met up with people that he was doing it with the intention of marriage.. which sounds so darn refreshing