Uppercut, I might consider marrying a "convert", since I find white guys to be sexy or whatever , however, the problem I have with that is that I would want my husband to be an AUTHENTIC practicing Muslim, who knows how to pray Namaz, etc. I also think it is better for the children if the parents are both the same religion and have the same background. I want my future children to be 100% Muslim and have Muslim values installed in them from day one. Many of the white guys who claim that they have converted to Islam when marrying Muslim Desi girls do not ACTUALLY convert; they just tell everyone that they have converted so that the girl's family and the Desi Muslim society that surrounds her will accept him and not consider her to be an outcast for marrying outside of her religion and race.

I wouldn't want to be with a guy who has slept around with a lot of women. Someone mentioned an STD test...I guess if I was going to marry a guy who I knew had quite a "colorful" past, I might ask him to get tested for STDs before tying the knot. It is better to be safe than sorry.

I know a lot of Muslim men, both Desi and Arab, who have screwed around with non-muslim women, just to have fun, and then ended up having an arranged marriage (willingly!) with a young Muslim virgin girl from back home who hardly knows English. It is such a double standard, that if I honestly think about it, I get very disgusted with these types of men. They think they can sleep around all they want before marriage, but that their future wives have to be as pure as snow, to the extent that she should never even have kissed a guy in her entire life. One good thing I noticed with Muslims who have grown up in the West is that with more and more "love" marriages happening, that type of scenario it not as common as it once was. It still IS common, but as times are changing and we as a society are progressing, the scenario I described doesn't happen as frequently as it used to. I hope that things will continue to move in this direction and that the double standard of a manwhore desiring a young virgin girl who has never been touched by a man in her life will eventually disappear.

Uppercute: you kind of agree with me?? meaning?? aren't I right?? ;)

I knew I'd wear you down if I played hard to get! My answer to your question of course is pending your STD test results! (H)

Yeah for real. Hit me up sometime. We gotta catch up although there ain't nothing new over here.

Damn Staph. What kind of animals are you hanging out with???

What do you guys think? These converts haven't slept around before finding you? gimme a break! You're screwed either way. Might as well go out with a bang! ;)

I do not feel inferior around non muslim women what so ever. I have lots of friends who are non muslim who happen to be pretty cool people and have a good head on their shoulders and do not put up with the muslim men attitude. Matter of fact, they make fun of the desi men because most of them are pathetic. If a man wants to screw around with a non-muslim woman and have no intention of marrying her, then he is a moron and he will get it back in this life. I am a strong believe in Karma...I think most of us women are nice, cool, educated, beautiful and decent who have a good heart and have a brain. While the men, most of them are screwed up in their heads and need to get their head checked ;)

Yes, the "girls you know are the happiest". And the thousands of other girls you don't know are just as happy with those in their own culture.

One can do as he pleases, but one cannot claim that a girl is happier when you marry a convert. No one knows for sure what she had to deal with on top of the conversion. God speed to those who dealt with it successfully.

The key is to find someone who balances you. Counterpoint #1: IF you have parents that "intefere" (negative connotation, when in fact you need help from your parents, they're not working against you) then it's probably best to move on. Counterpoint #2: If you have stressful situations, chances are it's a normal situation, and you're not alone, and if the wife feels the man's putting her 'underneath her thumb,' she better leave because she's never going to be happy, and she'll never get a word in edgewise. Counterpoint #3: Once again, if the woman feels like she's in a secondary role, she needs to leave. Everyone has a choice, and it is her choice to make a decision independent of her sig. other and family.

Finally, taboos exist in every culture. Whether or not you want to deal with it, is up to you. And getting "temporary relief" with a "thrilla in vanilla" isn't a step towards long-term happiness.

But if that's what one wants to do, then that's what he'll/she'll do.

Women do not need to lowers themselves down to men or show Men a lesson by acting like them; that doesn't do mankind any good. Women will just get more frustrated because in the end you wanted a Muslim person in the first place and you tried to appease yourself temporarily by running the other direction. So there's actually a #3 to your list. And he's the one who can deal with the girl keeping her V-Card, and her faith in Allah (SWT). But, choosing someone of a different culture doesn't necessarily mean you'll be happy. There are so many problems with actually converted the guy and then dealing with the culture clashes. But that's an aside. So you find a #3, a Man who has a past, has exposed that past to you, and you're okay with it, then you won't have to run to a "white/black/latino" just to prove that they're the only ones who can understand our situation.

I wouldn't feel inferior, that's the wrong word, but I would feel distant from him for a very long time knowing he slept around a few times (or maybe more); because, the fact remains he will compare you (because you don't know anything) to the girls he's already slept with after your nikah. And then, you'll feel like you're not good enough and these girls were always better than you. Always ask before you jump into a relationship where you're worried he's slept around, and if he confessed he was with a white girl, then ask yourself honestly, do you think you can handle that, and will you always get "second fiddle." If it bothers you, there may be a possibility that you could unknowingly use it against him if it comes down to it. And there will always be problems with yoru acceptance of it. I would have major problems with his previous sex-life. That's why you need a guy who's clean. Okay wait - finding a Clean Muslim Guy??? Hmmm, is that possible? (And this could be a legit reason why a bunch of us are still unmarried/'happily' single...)

I agree with the ladies....HELL NO!

these men ( the majority it seems) make me sick tooo.....and they are the ones that quote islam at u /and have this weird concept of a clena wife of mummys choice from back home...no thanks id rather stay single!!!!!!!!!!

Nofobsplz put it perfectly........HELL NO!