Do Real Indian Women Have Curves?
By Rachna D. Jain, Psy.D.

So, maybe you have visited the ancient temples at Kujaraho, or seen the erotic carvings at Elephanta Island, or taken a stroll through the caves at Ajanta- Ellora, all of which depict highly curvaceous Indian goddesses in various stages of undress and sexual relations...

Now, fast forward to today where you might flip through profiles on Indian Dating, Indian Marriage, or Match.com. You will find hundreds (or thousands) of Indians who all describe themselves as strikingly attractive, stunningly handsome, fair (of course), and slim (if they are women) or athletic (if they are men).

What is the common expectation and ideal for South Asian women in terms of body type and structure?

If you are built more like an ancient goddess, with a voluptuous, hourglass figure, can you find love with a desi man, or would that be more like looking for love in all the wrong places? I took to the streets (well, okay, email) to find out. The results were somewhat surprising.

?There is definitely a certain standard of looks for desi women,? reports Smita, 30, ?Most men want women who are slim and fair. They want women who have perfect figures.? Jabi, 28, agrees, ?Indian women are expected to look like Bollywood stars with perfect figures.? Simran, 24, offers, ?The size zero, straight-haired, freshly plucked, and waxed image is idolized.?

Men like Vijay, 35, had a different view: ?I do not find stick-women appealing at all. For instance, the majority of my male friends find ?rail? women attractive, which I do not understand. If I see a woman?s ribcage in media, print, or whatever, I want to feed her immediately.? Sanjeev, 27, says that he finds curvy women most attractive - ?nice breasts, smile, eyes, and hips? are what most attract his attention. Several other men echoed this theme, all of whom noted the appeal of womanly attributes like breasts, eyes, and hips.

Looks were one of the most important factors, men said, at least, initially. Shaun, 27, points out that ?looks are the main thing, with physical stature to follow.? Vinay, 36, feels that most desi men are not that different from western men, ? for a nice body and a nice face. In my case, that means nice butt, nice breasts, and a nice face.? Ram, 26, concurs, ?Indian men are generally no different than other men in looking for the proto-typical magazine model. That said, I think Indian men do value curves much more than the average American.?

The definition of curves is probably a subjective one, as curvaceous to one may mean overweight to another. Men and women both agreed that being overweight was the fastest way to get rejected. Patrina, 26, points out ?Fat is just not acceptable.? Altosh, 25, says, ? desi women who are overweight.? Ram, 26, concurs, ?If I see a woman who I consider to be overweight and there no sparks, it is easier to say no to that person.? Zia, 30, had a similar view, ?They want nice curves and nice looks, but are very willing to reject you if you weigh more than a certain amount.? So, it seems that the important thing is to be curvy in the right places, and thin in all the others.

Most of the women I spoke to had experienced rejection from desi men based on looks. Renu, 27, reports that she was once ?set up on a blind date by a male friend. My friend thought I looked fine, but my blind date was critical of my looks almost from the beginning.? Also, Anita, 31, reports, ?I once had a boyfriend who wouldn?t let me wear (or rather would pull a huge fuss) when I wore shirts that would even barely reveal my lower back because I have hair there.? Desi men, for their part, admitted to rejecting women based on looks. Vivek, 28, says, ?I was not attracted to her by the third time I met her, and that was only based on looks. A woman can be smart, funny, and a good conversationalist, but if I don?t find her attractive, there isn?t anything that will make up for that...?

There may be some evolutionary basis for what Indian men find attractive. Some psychological studies have defined certain body characteristics that are seen as most useful from an evolution/procreative standpoint. These studies have found that women with clear skin, thick hair, and big eyes were almost universally rated as the most attractive. Also, women whose waist to hip ratio was about .8 were similarly seen as highly attractive. Evolutionary psychology suggests that these traits may have indicated women who were more fertile, and, therefore, more attractive. While men might not be looking for fertility (at least not overtly), these evolutionary processes may still be dictating personal preference.

Evolution, notwithstanding, there is one clearly modern element to body image and body perception among desi women. Both sexes agreed that Indian women were much harder on themselves and their looks than Indian men. Despite the fact that most men had, at least once, rejected a woman because of her looks, most men felt that desi women were overly critical of their bodies. This was consistent with what the women in the survey said. Almost all of them reported more harsh feelings about their bodies, and more narrowly/singularly focused interpretations of the traits desirable to desi men. For example, while most women said that men were looking for slim, petite women, most men reported that they liked women who were more curvy than slim, and one man said he even liked women who were taller.

So, do real Indian women have curves?

That depends on who you ask. Indian men say yes. Indian women say no.

Perhaps the final solution lies in taking good care of yourself and doing the best you can with what you have.

Not a clear answer, perhaps, but at least one that is somewhat in your control.