I awake
to a plain white ceiling

i quickly shut my eyes again,
hoping to recapture what occurred
only seconds ago,

i was young again.

fifteen.

freedom was seldom a favor granted
but often a treasure stolen.

the night pacificed our energy...

we crossed the sands,
running
while everyone else, in slumber,
oblivious to our rebellion

the world, for those few hours,
was ours, in the palm of our hand
it stood still.

we ran,
stumbled and fell
and rose again,
ready for a new day,
heartbreak tugging at our sleeve.

our hushed voices
muffled laughter
secret glances
usurped emotions

we lived within walls
that we climbed,
conquered and crossed
they became a part of us....

while bloodshed,
in the back our minds,
wiped out passion, like ours,
in distant lands...

we forged our own treaty
promising to ourselves
childlike temptations
we knew the future promised more,
but we wanted what was in front of us....
and didnt see the need for sacrifice....

we were the here and now.

it seemed we waited all day
for night to come again
when the darkness marked an invitation
our innocence bloomed,
our excitement mounted
we soared together,
trying out our new wings
if the world was ready or not

the taste of youth,
still wet on our lips
we tried to hold on,
to embrace that feeling forever,
knowing it would not,
grasping tighter to keep it from slipping away.

we found refuge
and solace
in each other,
in that serene world
where nothing moved at night


i am awake
nostalgia tugs at my soul
sorrow abounds

that excitement,
disregard
intensity
innocence...

re-visits me night after night
beckoning, calling
taunting

awake
knowing full well it cannot be
i am a woman now
yearning for that taste
and time to slip back....
to envelope me
and deliver me to my youth....