A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
> >>Five minutes later...."Da-ad...."
> >>"What?"
> >>"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
> >>"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
> >>Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
> >>"WHAT?"
> >>"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
> >>I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
> >>Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
> >>"WHAT!"
> >>"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me the glass of water too???

> >>4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm
> >>A mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the
>light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep
>with me tonight?"
> >>The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
> >>"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room"
> >>A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
> >>"The big sissy"
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
>children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One
>little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
>down, the pastor leaned over and said,
> >>"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"
> >>The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
>"Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
>old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
>shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
> >>I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
>"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two
>plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
> >>Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
> >>His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
>The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
> >>"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
>"Yes," he answered.
> >>Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
>teaching my son in math?"
> >>The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
> >>The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
>son of a bitch is four?"
> >>After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them
>was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
>Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
>Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... And so Chicken Little
>went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is
>falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class,
> >>"And what do you think that farmer said?"
> >>One little girl raised her hand and said,
> >>"I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"
> >>The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
> >>
> >>9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
> >>"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
> >>Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
>The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
> >>"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
> >>She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
> >>
> >>
> >>10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the
> boys?"
> >>Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too
>rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
> >>"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
> >>
> >>
> >>11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands
>next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a
>snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair
>on your Twinkie."
> >>She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."
> >>