Merkaydez, thanks for the laugh. LOL! Now I don't know exactly how much truth there is to that dilemma of yours; however, Pashto speaking Afghans back home were viewed as the traditional and least progressive types. That reputation sometimes stays with the individual and that's why she feels she is superior. I find that absurd because she knew all this about him prior to marrying, why torment him with it now? Juan? I'm assuming Farsi zuban. Anyhow, I'd make sure these issues are covered and resolved PRIOR to marriage! This girl is crazy, they are husband and wife now... just let it go or help him learn rather than putting him down. This is not a competition. *:

Salaaam!

Let me first be clear about one thing. I don't care who speaks what language. Last thing I want is being called a racist.

I think these issues should have been brought up and discussed prior to joining in a wedlock. I think this friend of yours has been terribly irresponsible for marrying such a racist girl. Marrying a Farsizaban means marrying a girl. Nothing more or less. I find it hard to believe or remotely sense any touch of sophistication in marrying a Farsizaban or Pashtun. There is no difference between any of those.

As far as his current occupation is concerned I suggest he tells her that if in Afghanistan he would have been a "simple peasant" she would have been a "simple Goat-Milker" or. What a foolish comment! It makes me wonder how pathetic some individuals are.....


Marriage is about being in love, respect and mutual agreement about how the marital life should go on. Entering the wedlock shouldn't be about acquiring anything but love, trust, respect, mutual understanding, helping out each other, support and so on.....

Hugz

Sammy

you must be a dog lover mr. merkaydez! I also have heard that the GKC have breeds with nice tails. I like to think of them as nice boluses of flesh. However, these chiwawas these days...man i tell ya... they got some serious "tudes." i just dont know if the high society breeds can intermingle with the more rough and tough pedigree of the pusthun doggies. Have you ever seen two afghan chiwawas in the mating dance? So much pride, so much tension. As a chiwawa breeder myself, I tend to find that the chiwawa whip (my flip flop) tends to speed the processes along. I dunno... if you guys have any suggestions or positive comments on your own personal interbreeding attempts, or even some cute names like 'Puke' or 'Vomit' - I'd like to hear them.

nasty?? hmmm, that's an interesting name. are you gonna get the chihuahua's from the gainesville kettle club or south beach? i heard that the pashtoon ones down south have a mean tail and the farsi juan ones have nice teeth. man it's gonna make a sexy mix!

The best marriages are those that are inter ethnic marriages. Islam is a religion that promotes unity between Muslims. Those marriages that are inter ethnic, or even better, marriages that have 2 Muslims from two different nations provide the backbone of a stronger Muslim community.

This will not only increase the love between all kinds of Muslims it will wane the dilema of sub-cultural groups that are not rooted in the creed of Islaam. These sub-groups mostly consisting of individuals who foster marrying only within their "ethnicity" or country spawn ideas that are not found anywhere in any doctrinal creed but rather found in irrational desires and tribalism.

Hey what do you guys thing about me getting a pusthoon/farsiwan chiwawa? I can call it "Nasty"!

you're most definitely right....one love.

I called you ignorant after you called me ignorant first... I guess two wrongs don't make a right. :)

afggirl....one love baby....one love. by the way, i never said you brought up the word "ignorant." all i said that you repeatedly said i'm ignorant.

I did not bring up the word "ignorant" sweetie... you did. I also did not saying you were bashing me. I said I don't like racial or ethnic bashing of any kind. If you believe practicing racial tolerance is having a chip on my shoulder then so be it. :)

afggirl, i hate to do this, but if you dissect each of the 3 quotes you mentioned in your last post, there is a key word in each of them. they key words are "tend," "seems," and "heard." miss lawyer, you're suppose to be good with words. and you call me ignorant?? and by the way, i'm not bashing you for anything. i just think you have a chip on your shoulder and no matter what i say, you're gonna repeat your statements that i'm ignorant. if it makes you happy, i'm ignorant.

I am well, thank you. Here are some of your quotes...

"One thing I do notice, however, is that farsiwans who know pashto tend to only speak farsi, even if they are addressed in Pashto."

"it seems that farsi juans think they are superior to pashtoon, not because they speak farsi itself, but rather they believe they're culturally superior and have the upper hand in afghan society."

"I've heard stories of farsi juan wives treating their husbands like pet dogs".


You are stereotyping and picking only on one racial group. The truth is that every race has racist INDIVIDUALS. If you would have talked about this girl with out dragging the whole "Farsi jaun" race then I would not have had any problem with what you said. The above statements clearly indicates that you are the ignorant one my friend. I do not generalize or categorize people based on "stories" I have heard. Yes, I am well aware that Afghans have always had conflicts. It is people like you who make statements such as "I've heard stories of farsi juan wives treating their husbands like pet dogs." that encourages the flames of racism to grow.

I do believe in inter-ethnic (racial) marriages. I also believe that if you marry outside your race then you can not be ethnocentric or nationalistic because if you are then you will have a difficult time in your marriage. Marry someone who will want the same thing as you in life. If you both want the same thing then you won't have any problems. All important topics and concerns should be addressed before marriage. Like I said before I am not a "Farsi jaun" (I believe you mean Tajik) but I don't like the idea of racial bashing.

afggirl,

how are you? the objective of my post was to get a response to my question, "do you believe in inter-ethnic marriages?" it's the last line in my post. i'm not from cali or va, so i don't know if this kind of stuff goes on left and right. i'm small town. if you don't see the purpose of my post, then ignore it. obviously, you saw something in it to reply. if you believe i'm "trying to cause conflict and disunity among the afghans," then you're ignorant. and by the way, you don't need me to cause disunity among afghans. that happened back in '78 and it's still running strong. no offense, but wake up and smell the coffee. aint no one here to cause a fracas or quarrel, but rather an educated dialogue.

Merkaydez,

I don't see the purpose of your post. You are trying to cause conflict and disunity among the Afghans. It sounds to me that your friend is a moron who married a girl for the wrong reasons so it serves him right. Why did he think with his you know what when he should have been thinking with his brain? You say he lets things slide because she is beautiful. Who cares if she is beautiful... is he that shallow? Why not marry someone who will love and respect you? What's all this nonsense about "Farsi jaun wives treating their husbands like pet dogs"? First of all I am not "Farsi jaun". Second, my dad's good friend is a "Farsi jaun" married to a Pahstoon from Logar. She treats him like garbage. He is really, really sweet but he is not good looking at all. She on the other hand is a hottie. I think he suffers from low self-esteem and probably thinks he can't do any better than her so he lets her treat him badly. She's always yelling at him even in front of people. When they host parties.... he is the one who passes out tea and sweets to the guests while his wife just sits like a queen. She's mad sweet to everyone else tho so you can't hate her... LOL! . And I know this Uzbek girl who got married to a Pashtoon. The day when she had her baby... she was speaking Uzbeki to her mother and you know what her husband said to her? He said "don't speak that flit around my son I don't want him to learn it". That's what you say to someone who just had your baby two minutes ago? Her son is now 3 years old. She is not allowed to visit her side of the family with their son. He doesn't want their son to be exposed to Uzbek culture at all. He wants the kid to speak Pashto and know about Pashtoon culture only. The funny thing is that the kid doesn't even speak a word of Pashto because they always speak English around him. The point I'm trying to make is that when people are nationalistic there will always be problems like this in a marriage. You have nationalistic people in all racial groups so you can target one group... It's not fair! Always marry someone who wants the same thing as you in life then you won't have any problems.

yeah, the peasant comment was pretty low!

Salam. There is nothing wrong with "inter-ethnic" marriages. In fact, I believe that there is nothing wrong with interracial marriages. However, you cannot impose your beliefs on your partner. If this girl married him for who he was, then this would not be a problem. Unfortunately, she married him for who she wants him to be; her perception of him, which significantly deviates from reality.

Now let me state another important point: I have seen Pashtuns who are ashamed of speaking their language, Pushtu, which is ridiculous. Unfortunately it is the Afghan mentality, which is totally biased.

In the end, no one is superior to anyone because God created all of us. This mentality leads to oppression of groups that are looked down upon. If any particular group states that they are superior, it originates from ignorance and stupidity.

Marriage should never be limited to racial groups or ethnicities for that matter. In addition, individuals should not change their personality for anyone. For example, I'd rather have someone hate me for who I am then for someone to like me for something that I am not.

Finally, your friend should have smacked his wife for the "peasant" comment.

Salam, Rudy.

I'm glad your parents have a healthy relationship. But i was saying that in general, it seems that farsi juans think they are superior to pashtoon, not because they speak farsi itself, but rather they believe they're culturally superior and have the upper hand in afghan society. I hope that clears it up. Either way, it's still messed up cuz i love pashtoons. lol.

Farsi-Pasthun Marriages

My mom is Farsi Juan and my father speaks Pashtu. What you described in your journal never occurred here. Actually the opposite happened. We were never taught Farsi. I never heard someone think they are superior to someone else over a language. Lol

wabbit kabob

memi shmemi, you're just a khargosh...shhhhh i'm huntin fow wabbits.