These are extracts from actual letters sent to Leicester council and Housing associations written by Gujaratis:

1. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

2. And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his baLlls against my fence.

3. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

4. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?

5. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

6. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

7. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

8. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

9. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

10. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.