Going to weddings

Login to find out (July 5, 2005 at 9:45am)

I don't feel out of place at weddings although auntis do approach my mom and inquire if she's found a larka for me yet. I am confident, look gorgeous (excuse the self-appreciation), stylish, and classy, so guys check me out which is a super ego-booster for any girl, and especially if you're at a wedding, you look hotter than usual. I have more than just looks to offer that special person who is destined for me, so I hope wherever he is, he knows that I AM RIGHT HERE!!! :)

Login to find out (June 25, 2005 at 2:03am)

A word of caution however, regarding what A_A mentioned which is no doubt true for her; we have limited control of the looks we've been endowed with by Allah. No doubt an attractive 36 year old woman will *still* be beating the guys off. However, as men also get older, there's a natural tendency to be even more picky, to 'make-up' for lost time so to speak. The 36 year old woman that isn't very easy on the eyes, no matter how smart, is going to have a harder time than the 38 year old woman that is easier on the eyes, all else being equal. Ladies, be optimistic, strive to make yourselves and your lives more enriched, but also take action to find someone sooner, if that?s important to you and you?re currently *not* beating the guys off. Destiny is a matter of choice, not of chance. *Disclaimer: women currently beating the guyz off can ignore this advice*

Login to find out (June 25, 2005 at 1:56am)

A_A has a point regarding men in their 30's looking for outgoing, intelligent, creative women who are liberated from the petty variety of society's expectations. Us progressive Muslim men tend not to be able to find such, and we end up settling some (mistake) and it doesn't work out. Come find us before we have to get divorced 'cause we married the wrong chic. In all my 20's I found it *impossible* to meet progressive, intelligent, attractive Muslim women closer to me in age, like minded in thinking and still single. Us men have the same issues as you do ladies. Inshallah, technology and attitudes are improving enough for us to finally be getting a bit more empowered.

Login to find out (June 20, 2005 at 9:09am)

She's got a point. And to answer your question missmatch, I used to feel 'out of place' in the beginning. Now, however, I try to not let it get to me.. instead i keep in mind exactly what Aasmaan_asl was trying to say. It'll give you some peace of mind. Just accept that each person is doing his/her own thing and just because a certain decision worked for one person doesn't necessarily mean it will work for you (ex..marrying young).

Login to find out (June 13, 2005 at 8:35am)

..Listen to me whan I say this to you girls, The pressure we feel from our culture will only push you to make decisions against your better judgement. My closest pakistani girlfriends got married and ultimately divorced - but finally liberated from the societal expectations and able to pursue their own dreams....

Login to find out (June 13, 2005 at 8:35am)

so I have to add my two cents here - since I feel like the village grandma, let me assure you ladies that there are PLENTY of men out there. I am 33 and divorced and in NO hurry to get married again.. but I meet guys everywhere! All these guys think (yes the hot successful desi boyz) that it is totally refreshing to meet a girl that is single and successful and does not care about the social conventions. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I literally have to beat guyz away. And another thing, it is not like the guys are older than me, there are 29- 30 year old guys...I have a pakistani girlfiend in her mid thirties that is a successful doctor and really beautiful also - she has the same problem

Login to find out (May 22, 2005 at 7:40pm)

There is alot of daunting evidence to believe so...but u never know desi...lol

Login to find out (May 20, 2005 at 5:43pm)

Zabba - I hope you're right....

Login to find out (May 20, 2005 at 12:41pm)

This is very intresting topic, the other day my friend from Korea was telling me that there has been a recent change in paradigm amongst single women in Korea and the marrying age of couples in Korea...Now a days there are more women in their 30s single and they take their time and pick...According to my friend this change has taken place over the last five-seven years. This change was a result of alot of divorces, and alot of women looking to be build a career for themselves before they settlled down, there are other socio-ecnomic factors that brought this change as well... I personally think that our population(desi muslims)here is also seeing this in the making...more and more career women, level of education going up and within 5 years or so, we will see more single women in their 30s...and if that paradigm change takes place then, the men would not have much choice either...Although it does not help us now...but u could be rest assured our future is brighter...

Login to find out (May 20, 2005 at 9:32am)

yes, I have ogled over other people's husbands.... I look, but don't touch - that's not right...

Login to find out (May 20, 2005 at 9:31am)

I KNOW!!! ALL THE GREAT GUYS ARE TAKEN!! I can't even tell you how many times I thought how lucky my friend is to have married the guy she did - he's such a wonderful guy! he's smart, funny, sincere - not to mention - smokin' hot!

Login to find out (May 20, 2005 at 9:06am)

lol PEz.....i think we all agree that desis especially, have a huge problem with thinking outside the box whether it be in terms of career, marriage, family etc....but those people are the ones who suffer, they have such mundane lives. They need a lil spice in their life, something NEW, something DIFFERENT!! lol Zabba, lol @ they claim alot too.....its soo very true! I shouldn't laugh, cuz it really is pathetic. HEy shuq, desi girlz are taiz, they snatch all the good guys so fast that all the seedee saddee (yet intelligent) girls like us never even had a chance to realize that good guys existed, lol.....:P

Login to find out (May 19, 2005 at 6:41pm)

I wonder if those types of people also get a prescription of morphine on their wedding day... that's ususally what their marriage feels like - not that I would know - just an observation....

Login to find out (May 19, 2005 at 12:33pm)

Sam u r so right, specially within our communitties marriage is very similar to the prescription fill-up concept, mostly older men get married to fill-up the need for kids, raising family...and most cases education as just just been limited to means to a stable future a job...and not many people explore other areas, perhaps thinking more about life, as a whole, thought process, feelings...
Nothing like that...i got the money give me the dang prescription....lol...And they live life like a prescription to...and they also like to claim alot too..lol

Login to find out (May 19, 2005 at 9:06am)

Zabba...i couldn' have said it better. I also don't understand the older guy, younger girl marriage. All such marriages I have seen are ones where each person just plays their 'prescribed role' (ie-husband out earning, wife at home coooking, cleaning etc...) and they don't have very much to say to each other. Hey, if people find that that's what they want, then go for it.....personally, I want to find someone who I can share my interests with and enjoy being with, Inshallah. MPG: also..the older we get, the less and less quality guys that are left, lol

Login to find out (May 18, 2005 at 10:49pm)

To be quite honest..anyone getting married for the right reasons..you go! Getting married for the wrong reason..thats plain sad! As long as im having a good time who cares. Im sure prince charming is waiting for me somewhere, somehow...:)

Login to find out (May 18, 2005 at 8:28pm)

I actually found a bhangra work out tape and dozens of belly dancing tapes... I own them... :) I like to rip up the dance floor..

Login to find out (May 18, 2005 at 12:33pm)

that young girl thing won't apply to me - I'm a head-strong woman of 28.

Login to find out (May 18, 2005 at 12:19pm)

I have been to alot of weddings recently...the best part was that my mom was also invited...and she pointed at the couple told me at each on every weddin this year that son you could be sitting there...or pointing to girls that i should be looking to...and i am not done with family weddings yet. :(
I myself was in a relationship and got engaged to a younger girl once...thank God is over...lol..I think it is alot of work...
when i went to every one of the weddings earlier this year, found that the older balder the guy the younger the girls...must be some formula...lol... i wondered to myself, what is going through these guys's head...why are they doing this...After some investigation i found out that desi guys go after younger girls for the higher molding factor...Seems pretty naive...and control freakish to me...But mostly works out for couple of that mindset.
What good is life partner without a molded personality, a opinion, a drive(place to be), without her own base, a career, alot exp to share, individuality...Without all of the above...life would be pretty dull...what makes a relatioinship work is the surprises...curiocity, the discoveries about one another. I just dont understand how they(the young girl syndmrome couples) work it out, they have nothing to look forward too...

Login to find out (May 18, 2005 at 12:19pm)

Shuq - your profile is amazing! how long have you been dancing? Do you reccomend any beginner tapes for flamenco or Indian dance?

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