good question though

Also, what kind of guys you looking for? Maybe I can assist. There are way to many good single brothers out there.

1 - Dont consider anyone over seas if you are that paranoid about it.

2 - If they were smart, they would want someone outside their own culture, our Ummah needs some diversity and unification. Our generation needs to tear down these walls of cultural segregation, which are Islamically unhealthy anyways.

3 - You cant, just try and find someone who has the deen and worry about the rest later.

Salam alaikum sister. First of all, I know many Muslim men who do not want to marry within their own ethnicity. It's all a matter of preferences, just like you may not want to marry an American convert. It's best to look for someone who is a good Muslim. If he is a good Muslim, he won't care where you come from because we all come from Allah.

This ummah is very segregated, and it's really hard for converts to get married in the proper Islamic way. If the idea that a guy may only want to get married for a green card worries you, maybe you should only look for someone who is an American citizen.

Personally I think that there are a few ways to tell if a guy is genuine.
1) The first time you talk, he brings up that he is looking to get married and not wanting to just mess around.
2) He asks about your family and wants to talk to someone in the family or your community.
3) He doesn't care about spending time alone with you. If a guy is truly looking to get married, he won't care if you never get to see each other alone before the wedding and won't mind others being around when you meet up.

4) If he is not in your community, you can always contact the imam at the masjid he attends and ask about him.

Assalamu Alaikum Daniela,

If you don't already have one, it is better always to have a "Wali"/Guardian, an older married Male brother that can help you and represent you in the process as this can save you a lot of headaches. If you don't have one, ask the sisters at the mosque you go to that you need a wali and insha-Allah they pick you someone good.. hopefully someone who's been in this country for a very long time as he would then know the ins and outs of things..

As for your questions, they can be eased out by involving your guardian in the selection process, but most importantly don't rush things. Take your time to know the brother well, and I'd say if possible see him for 2-6 months before getting married. It happens that people sometimes meet a few times and click and they thing that's it but later on they realize that there are alot of incompatibility in thinking.. so better take your time.

As for the green card, this is a tricky one, your wali if he's experienced should be able to tell if the bro is genuine or not.

As for Arabs/desi men wanting a non-arab/desi women, I know for a fact that Arabs marry outside their clans.. in fact I know a lot of Arab brothers who are married to caucasian sisters in our community as an example. THis all depends on how traditional the brother is.. Some of them are very traditional and won't even marry outside their village or country (ie they won't go for a different arab country), and others don't care.

Rely on Allah sister and pray the "istikhara" prayer (decision prayer).. you can find it on the internet. At the end Allah is the one who knows what is best and he will guide you if you depend on him.

And practicality. - deciding if someone is compatible from thousands of miles apart without anyone to back you up about the legitimacy of that person, etc., is pretty difficult.

daniela: very good question!! it is a tough one to answer..But plz be warned. I believe compatibility should be the only criteria to judge. );