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Health Question & Answer - Facts not to live by


HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming Whoo what a ride".
 

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Login to find out (March 10, 2006 at 4:03am)
humnaseasons orders for pizza....
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 12:50pm)
see thats what happens when u deprieve ur self of pizza when u do finally have some u feel ill...u should eat more of that stuff so ur body stays used to it...
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 12:40pm)
stay healthy...

this is a health journal...
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 9:00am)
im ok nge...and you ?
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 9:00am)
just love the zeros at the end...

too bad they are just numbers not pound.... *:
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 8:59am)
ok ok

no whinining now that i love my math so much... (H)

making up for doing so bad in math during school.... :P
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 8:48am)
Thanks for the compliment ;)

Hs , what is with the counting man!??
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 8:17am)
100
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 8:17am)
lol....

Fm yes...i believe and will live by the very healthy advice imparted here by Barizvi.... :P
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 7:59am)
Humanseasons Im sorry but I cant accept the role of ur new health expert please keep FM as i cannot stand to see grown men cry....i am here to make friends not enemies, it seems although his taste in food is awful he knows his stuff....
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 7:37am)
Fired????
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 5:35am)
well done batool, ur my new health expert...

FM is fired....
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 5:29am)
FM...did u faint after reading this... :P
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 4:07am)
make sure there's plenty of ghee-friendly dishes :P
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 3:34am)
i'm at work ); :( :- -:- *: #:
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 3:29am)
Yeh but I am watching replays of the football, beat that!
 
Login to find out (March 9, 2006 at 3:19am)
Miss beautiful day? i am up,going to get my bike fixed
 
Login to find out (March 8, 2006 at 8:55pm)
oh i forgot im not dealing with north americans here ..... forget cards
 
Login to find out (March 8, 2006 at 8:53pm)
"go fish too as well as memory and cheat and black queen and black jack"

Apart from Blak jak, what d hell r the others??

Ok choose a card
 
Login to find out (March 8, 2006 at 8:44pm)
im damn good at snap...and go fish too as well as memory and cheat and black queen and black jack