(taken from Hijabi Village)

When something goes wrong at work, walk up to random
coworker and say..STOP IT, JUST STOP IT....and when
they look at you funny....look them in the eye, and
say, I know you're giving me the evil eye...do a
zaghrouta while waving your hands, and turn away
before they can respond.

Go to random young girl coworker, and tell her, yes,
actually, I think you will be suitable for him, while
looking her up and down.

On the phone, say you dont feel its right and an
honor killing is not a valid justification in this
country anyways, hang up, and look at coworkers, and
ask how much they heard.

When eating lunch with coworkers, look upset and say,
i don't think its appropriate that "John" and "Linda"
are sitting next to each other, and ask if it would be
okay, if they could sit farther apart from each other.

End each sentence with the word "Kafir".

When invited for happy hour, or see an invite for it,
exclaim how you have never gone to such an event, and
can't wait to go, ask if there will be clowns and
ponies, and how they oh so do make you happy, lol.

When a male colleague asks you if you finished the
project, keep your gaze lowered the whole time, answer
his question, and end it with, i talked to my dad, he
said, he will be okay with it, as long as you convert.

Listen to 50 cent...and sing along, and tell coworkers
he's your favorite.

Anytime someone discusses Israel, interrrupt and say
occupied palestine

IF you wear the higab, oneday, while doing something,
run out and yell, its burning, its burning, while
trying to rip your scarf off.

if your boss asks you where is the file, turn to the
imaginary person on your left and say, Abdallah didn't
i tell you to put it on his desk

if your boss is yelling at you, start screaming,
please i promise to have dinner prepared by 6 pm next
time don't beat me

Try explaining jin to them....good times, actually
explain it to a nonpractising muslim you get the same
result.

BRing one of your REALLY cultural dishes into
work...cow tongue

go the copy machine, and photo copy page, which talks
about secret muslim meeting and leave it there for
people to see

IF you wear the higab, and your boss asks you why,
tell him or her, the lice were cold.


When coworkers get together for dinner late, tell them
you can't becuase the devils are out at that time, but
lunch would be fine, and then yell GOD
WILLING.....while looking him or her directly in the
eye

mutter the word bid333aaa, over and over under your
breath.

if a new muslim boy comes to work in your department,
while talking to him and coworkers, randomly announce
you are pure, and wink at him.

Anytime there is an office lunch, ask if everything
has pork in it...including the pepsi...and if
something does, look at all the people eating in pure
disgust....if they are drinking you shouldn't even be
there...lol.

if someone asks you about prayer, you look them in the
eye, and say PRAYER, PRAYER, THERE IS NOTHING BUT TRUE
PRAYER established in my home, and walk away angry, as
if they insulted your mom.

when on the phone at work, in front of others, be like
what, what...i should leave the building....how many
minutes do i have.....and don't hang up the phone,
just run out of the building like your life depended
on it.

Although you speak perfect english, for no reason, bust on in your parents fob accent, whar ar the babers ya Lawwwraa!!! and then start muttering and slapping your hands together.