>A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends

>>?15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she

>>stops at a newsagents to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the

>>clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

>>"About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

>>A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl

>>the very same question. The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

>>The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

>>Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on

>>her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and

>>asks the clerk this burning question.

>>The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

>>Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

>>While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to

>>her the same question.

>>He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young,

>>there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very

>>forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.

>>Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

>>They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best

>>of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

>>He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very

>>slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently

>>pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against

>>each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How

>>old am I?"

>>He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,

>>"Madam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was

>>incredible, how could you tell?"

>>The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

>>"I promise I won't." she says.

>>

>>

>>"I was behind you in McDonald's."