Polygamy in Quran=
====================

Can anyone quote verses where in Quran it says polygamy is ONLY for men?
Thanks.
==================================
The Quran, too, allowed polygamy, but not without restrictions:

"If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one" (Quran 4:3).

Can anyone be absolutely fair?

No one on this earth including Muhammad peace be upon him can be absolutely fair. Our Prophet peace be upon him used to pray in one of his prayers to Allah Almighty by saying in Arabic "Allah humma innaka taalamu be anni aadiloo bima astatee', wa lakinnee la aadiloo bima la astatee'," which means in English "Dear Allah, you are well aware that I try to be just with all I can, but I can't be just with what I can't." This prayer means that our Prophet always tried to be fair as much as possible, but he couldn't always do that.

One time, Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said this prayer, because he used to love his wife Aisha (who was the youngest of his wives) the most, and he always feared that he would not be fair to the rest of his wives. Muhammad peace be upon him recognized that he was only a human being, and he can not be fair especially in his feelings at all time.

This clearly proves that Islam highly discourages the marriage of multiple wives for (1) Because no one can be fair; (2) polygamy is only allowed when the male species is endangered in a society; and (3) The Noble Verse 4:3 orders us to marry only one wife if we feel that we will not be fair.

The Noble Verse that I presented above also clearly proves that no one can be absolutely fair; "Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self-restraint, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. (The Noble Quran, 4:129)"


What if the person is rich and can afford polygamy?

I think it would be ok, but the man would still be taking a very high risk in displeasing GOD Almighty for anything that goes wrong in the marriages and the damages that it would cost the wives and the kids. If his kids will not be a burden on the society, and he makes sure that his wives are all treated well and equally as much as he can, even though he will never be perfectly just, then he might be ok.

Brining well educated kids into a Muslim society definitely helps. But if a rich guy practices polygamy the way some of the oil rich Gulf-Arab multi billionaires practice it; by marrying and divorcing on Thursdays which ensures that he never exceeds four women, and at the same time he always experiences new sexual pleasure with a new woman every week, then believe me Allah Almighty will damn him really bad in the Day of Judgment, because this is not the spiritual point from allowing polygamy in the Noble Quran!

I think practicing polygamy among those who can afford it really depends on the individual case. If the man's wife strongly opposes to polygamy to a point that she would seek a divorce, then obviously he can never satisfy her, and most probably can never be fair enough with her because he would be always fighting and arguing with her, where it may not be the case with the other wife. So destroying a marital life and damaging the kids for a personal reason is really not fair by itself, unless of course the wife is unbearable and the man and wife don't want the divorce, which in this case it would be a great idea for the man to have another wife.

Also, some Muslim women don't mind polygamy. And yes, some of them even seek wives for their husbands. If this is the case, then polygamy in this case would not be a problem, provide that the man can financially afford it and can provide a good quality life for all of his wives, and most importantly, can provide a good quality of education to his children.

As I said above, Allah Almighty clearly revealed Noble Verse 4:3 for the protection of the Orphans and to solve a major social imbalance between men and women. The Noble Verse never really came for man's pleasure, nor did it come for general purposes like in the Bible where men can practice polygamy for just about any reason.

So men in Islam are really taking risks when they practice polygamy for personal reasons only, because they will be held accountable for everything that goes wrong in the multiple marriages, and for any martial dissolutions that will ultimately hurt the kids the most.



Conclusion:

Islam does not allow marriage of multiple wives for males' sexual privileges and desires as Anti-Islamics claim. A normal man who makes enough money to keep him surviving in life can not provide a fair quality of life to all his wives, which means that he must not be allowed to marry multiple wives because he will only make his society worse.

Noble Verse 4:3 came to solve social problems. Unfortunately today, some Muslims intensify the Muslim's social problems in the Islamic poor countries by marrying multiple wives and bringing more and more illiterate and poor kids into the society which on the long run will only keep their entire society below the level of poverty. Therefore, Noble Verse 4:3 doesn't allow polygamy just for anyone or any reason and Noble Verse 4:129 certainly nullifies the excuse Allah Almighty gave to Muslim men to practice polygamy. Therefore, unless we have social or personal dilemmas where too many Muslim men were lost, or there is problems with the wife toward her husband, then polygamy should not be allowed nor justified in my Islamic view.

And Allah Almighty knows best, and may He forgive me if I made any mistakes in this article.

Dil, "freedom of speech" ? You gotta first have freedom of THOUGHT. In our cultures, its forbidden to even THINK certain things. To think bravely against what everyone else thinks, is not easy. It also depends on circumstances, some circumstances make it easier for the person think against the "grain". But ultimately, its the person's decision on what to think, or be blind to things that infact may make more sense. They turn away, again because its unfamiliar territory.

AB ..........

Well ,when it came up as a challenge .I did look up a few. Other than that I think its not much of interesting topic to discuss .


If the whole idea is "to protect and provide for the ever present surplus or fe/males in most human societies"
WHY can/t it be applied in reversed condition !!! #:

Polygyne is happening without female surplus in land of peace & tranquility too! :*

MY question is ,Is it arrogance or ignorance on the part of Muslim Scholars. I did ask to a famous website .

I asked them if its polygamy then why not polyandry too.Dosent it means same polygamy means multiple partners irrespective of sex ,right.
Which they did not answer & later had shut it down.

See what I mean ,when I say arrogance/ignorance :#

Thanks for replying as a woman too ;)
You are a good team player.I must say

Well you want to be monogamous be monogamous.
One should do what makes them feel right.

But the fact is that "polygamy is practised largely esp in Saudi Arabia.Polygyne is happening without female surplus in land of peace & tranquility too!

If I was a woman, I'd chose monoandry.

I dont think polyandry is permitted in Islam, so no matter how much more economical it is, or how much it stops men from turning gay (whether this is possible, or even happens - is another point to which I dont know the answer to), you'll not have traditional people agreeing with this, but you already know that I guess.

I really dont know. hmm ! All I'm interested in is monoandry, just one woman. Thats enough for me.

Your topic is interesting though. Try posting this in the ThinkVille village also.

JazzyJe

Hello ! So do you want to say which pick you would make IF you were a woman here? Monoandry or Polyandry? );

I think If a woman picks Monoandry wont the other guys go Gay?? *:

"However, the laws of Islam always give precedence to the general welfare of society over individual discomfort or personal preferences.

Hence, the Islamic marriage system includes polygyny to protect and provide for the ever present surplus or females in most human societies."


So stranded Men should deserve a chance to reproduce by Darwin's theory for propagation of Human race. No? #:

Should they be chasing Primates there ,if by chance? ;)

Considering How Adam & Eve did? );

They had married INTERSIBLING marriages in their children. That?s when first blood was shed on earth when Able(Habeel?) killed Cain (Kabeel?) because he wanted to marry his sister & not Cain's. :(

So Polyandry is NOT as bad as Inter sibling Marriage.
In this way all Muslim Men on the stranded Island will procreate & woman will be strongly supported by 3 men. :)

----------------------------------- ------------------------- --
Jazzy Je you wrote:

Why not prepare for a scenario where there are surplus men too?

Now you guys is gonna say: Its men who go to war and get killed, not women. But equality is rising. You COULD hypothetically have a situation where there's surplus of men. Can that be true?

Come on, give me examples of situations where men could be in surprlus. REAL situations that could really happen, not some crazy stuff like "If all the women were traveling in Toyotas and all the men in Hondas, and an alien came and took away all the Toyotas, then we could have a surplus of men".

I want real situations, so help me.
----------------------------------- ------------------------- -
So What I think is Darwin?s theory & Propagation of Ummah & better genes. Stronger Socio-Economic position with multiple earnings & protecting members!
Soon in near future the genetic sex of the child could be chosen by the parents. I would not be surprised IF Muslim had this option more than 80% would pick to have sons. Yes it will bring a disequilibrium in the society.

BBC Links=
news.bbc.co.uk

news.bbc.co.uk

news.bbc.co.uk

It said there was no "compelling evidence" to prohibit couples undergoing IVF being able to choose to have a girl or boy if that was what they felt was necessary to "balance out" their family

"People will not go through IVF to choose the sex of their baby and even if they did it would not in any way, I think, damage the fabric of our society."

The committee's report also said that decisions about whether to allow embryos to be checked for genetic conditions, or to see if they are a match for a sick sibling - so-called "designer babies" - should be taken out of the hands of the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority (HFEA).


"A little sex makes enough of the combinations present, but having more sex breaks apart the combinations that are working to evade the parasites."

"If you are a parent who has survived to reproduce you probably have a good gene combination, so shuffling them about is not going to benefit you."

But sex does exist - in great abundance. Natural selection, for some reason, chose it. The clones have not taken over and the risk, big as it might be, is not big enough to make sex a bad idea

The thing is are you thinking for the unforeseen too?
A food for a thought!

I'm in support of any kind of Poly, though I couldnt do it myself or be involved in any situation. If there's somoene who thinks its best for them, thats good. If science proves polyandry is economically feasible thats good. I think in the very future, marraige will be done away with and kids will be raised by able communities and not parents. Also, people will be given personaility tests to make sure they can be good parents and bring up a child. Not everyone can bring up kids in a healthy way.

So... although I didnt understand the full article, I support any thinking outside the box.. so its a good initiative. Thanks for having the courage to bring the topic up, Dil

Oops I guess I misread the intent of the article. Interestinggg! I'll come back to this later and read it more carefully. Dil, is this something you wrote yourself? if not, let me know the link.

Why not prepare for a scenario where there are surplus men too?

Now you guys is gonna say: Its men who go to war and get killed, not women. But equality is rising. You COULD hypothetically have a situation where there's surplus of men. Can that be true?

Come on, give me examples of situations where men could be in surprlus. REAL situations that could really happen, not some crazy stuff like "If all the women were traveling in Toyotas and all the men in Hondas, and an alien came and took away all the Toyotas, then we could have a surplus of men".

I want real situations, so help me.

Autumnbreeze

Thanks for being a great sport and sharing your opinion.

You are definitely a GEM of a gal! (A)
Yes ..Ash is ;)