salam alaikum brothers and sisters,
i understand that divorces/seperations are a hot subject, but thats not why i'm having this reflection, as it is more important to me to view your perspective on what im tossing back and forfth on my mind.

compatibility is a major issue in any relationship, but is that the major factor in dooming marriages and relationships?

what does it mean to be compatible?
it is defined as "Capable of orderly, efficient integration and operation with other elements in a system with no modification or conversion required."

is this definition true in a marriage or a relationship? does this definition hold true in life itself? what i think? no it doesn't... i believe the most important factor in any relationship to continue and flurish, or to end in a miserable ending is compromise and love for Allah (swt) and eachother.

people become attracted to one another because of many reasons... some are superfcial, while others are deep and well rooted. such superficial attractions would be looks, sex appeal, material ownerships, and hidden agendas... while rooted attractions are religion, beliefs, trustworthiness, kindness, actions that coincide with visions, etc...

to get involved in a relationship built on sex appeal or because it would embetter one's image in the eyes of their friends is an assurance that this tie won't last...

but to be involved, at least emotionally, with someone you admire for their closeness to Allah (swt)... for the openess to life and non-stop dedication to embetter one's own life and their family's on a professional and personal levels alike... for their kindness and compassion to other human beings... its characteristics like these that we can fall in love with and want to share the rest of our lives with that certain someone.

now, to have these characteristics, does that mean that you and your mate can live a cinderella story, happily ever after? if thats what you think, then you are mistaken, or at least i think so.

there are NO PERFECT people... not now, not ever! and its in these imperfections that people can find their perfections their relationships. a marriage is similar to economic charts that i studied in University... each partner in that relationship is a line on that chart... if both parties don't agree on a certain issue, then they can choose to avoid discussing the issue because of fear of getting into an arguement... but if they choose to sit together as adults and discuss the details of their disagreement, then they can reach an equilibrium point where both can agree and move on with a good healthy relationship.

pride, arrogance, and self-centered lifestyle is a guarantee that the relationship is destined to be doomed... a relationship is give and take. with that in mind, we should become better partners by expressing and ecting out our true emotions, oru concerns, our thoughts, fears, and happiness with eachother.

being a Muslim, we are taught by the teachings of Prophet Mohammed (sAaw) and through the words of Allah (swt) in the Quran... and if you know this, then you'd also know that Islam is all about love and understanding... love to God, oneself, family, and other human being... understanding what you and i are here to do, understanding that life isn't always fair, and even so you can still have a wonderful life with a partner that you share mutual respect, love, and understanding with...

May Allah (swt) bless us all with such partners in life and afterlife.

salams!