Liking being liked

Login to find out (June 30, 2005 at 5:04pm)

i know people that might unconciously feel superior to others and as a result show it in their actions. but i've never met anyone who would explicitly try to argue that....both teachers and doctors seem to have very valuable and internally rewarding jobs so in that sense i would argue that they are better than IT professionals and all of us computer geeks lol

Login to find out (June 27, 2005 at 4:27am)

Did anyone ever notice how some people in the IT field make more money than doctors nowadays?

Login to find out (June 25, 2005 at 9:53pm)

Oh, and the fact that I am a pacifist and a Democrat doesn't help much either.....:)

Login to find out (June 25, 2005 at 9:48pm)

I agree with Shazia04 when she said, "there are times when it is better to say nothing if what you are going to say is going to cause offence or hurt someone." I also agree with Platoshadow when he said, "temper your words with kidness rather than harsh truth." That is absolutely correct. When I said that people have a problem with my opinion or being myself, it has nothing to do with insulting other people on a personal level. It simply has to do with the fact that I am opinionated about a lot of issues which many (Desi) people I come into contact with do not agree with. Here are some of those issues: 1.)Having a fancy house and a fancy car doesn't make you any better than other people. 2.) Just because you are a doctor and I am a teacher doesn't mean you are superior to me although your income is three times more than what I make. 4.) It is more of a sin to hurt someone's feelings than to drink alcohol, smoke marijuana or have sex outside of marriage. 5.) Giving to the poor and to poor relatives is very important. 6.)For a woman to stay at home with her child until he/she is old enough to go to school is very important ONLY IF the husband makes enough money to support the family, even though the wife/mother wants to prove to herself and others that she can be a big-shot careerwoman; being with your infant/toddler 24/7 is more important than proving to everyone how successful you can become. ANYWAYS, these are the "opionated" topics that I have tried to discuss with people in the past, and the outcome usually isn't good.

Login to find out (June 23, 2005 at 9:51am)

ok, thanks for the grammar lesson. i'll keep that in mind - now i will be quiet..

Login to find out (June 23, 2005 at 9:18am)

hey, but seriously, even though i made that joke about er i'm serious about the apology.

Login to find out (June 23, 2005 at 9:18am)

comon, mean spirited? really? ok, in that case, i apologize for my comment. i really didn't mean it that way....i know doctors do more than that (i watch er too you know).....well, in any case, sorry about that.

Login to find out (June 22, 2005 at 4:27pm)

i have to respect my elders so im letting that slide jalil sir....i was trying to add to this convo but if you really don't think my input has relevance, that's fine w/ me....so this is what doctors do all day, jalil uncle? go on the internet...shoot i work in front of a computer so i have an excuse lol!

Login to find out (June 22, 2005 at 10:37am)

we had this islamic class back in the day. it was informal so people were allowed to express their opinions and their objections whenever they wanted. as a result, we didnt get anything done cause too many people were being 'honest' and expressing their opinions (too many arguements!). so i learned there's a time and place for your opinions. and sometimes it is better to just keep quite instead of always being blunt and expressing your opinions...plus, just because someone has an opinion doesnt mean they're special. we all have opinons.

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 11:30pm)

I agree with shazia here, sometimes saying nothing is better than a biting remarks. Granted, coming up with a biting remark isnt everyone's cup of tea, I think it still takes more self control to hold oneself back. It doesnt take much to stoop to a lower level.

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 10:44pm)

and i don't mean to sound offensive either, so i hope no one is takin this the wrong way..

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 10:29pm)

bout the animal kingdome remark, i was being somewhat fascetious, but not totally because we are humans and we are considered to be the more superior of the species, and so therefore we should act like it. how many tigers do you see stoping to ask questions before they "bluntly" eat you ?

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 10:24pm)

i don't remember saying anything to the effect of para not being allowed to voice her opinions. What i said, or was trying to say, rather, was along the lines of what Shazia and Plato touched on which is yes, there is such a thing as being "too honest." People can get hurt by someones elses lack of self control..it's up to everyone in the group to find out and watch for certain sensitivities of people they're talkin with. Or else how can you have a real, productive convo with someone if you've inadvertently(or even purposely for that matter) insulted or hurt the person? And if you're saying that it's the reciever of the messages' issue for takin it the wrong way, well, i partially agree with that. Only because i think it should be 50/50 rather than 100% one way. Receiver should try not to judge or take too much offense if he thinks the sender is just lacking knoweldge, and sender should be more careful to the sensitivities of the ppl he's talking with. It goes both ways.

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 9:42pm)

To think about liking being liked is a big wast of time for me lol," Shazia between you and me who doesn't like being liked".

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 5:55pm)

there are times when it is better to say nothing if what you are going to say is going to cause offence or hurt someone. it takes more self-control to guard your tongue than to proverbially let it all hang out so well done paradise. not everyone wants to necessarily know someone else's every waking thought. we're not half as interesting as we think we are generally, nor are our opinions of interests to more than a few...

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 1:25pm)

"prancing and acting like a ninja type" hahahaah!! funny

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 1:25pm)

i would disagree that there is no such thing as too honest. temper your words with kidness rather than harsh truth. and there are ways of telling someone they smell funky that are preferable to pointing at them and saying "you smell funky" honesty can and should be tempered with diplomacy.

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 12:35pm)

I thought we were distinguished in our ability to reason?

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 10:32am)

para - there's a difference between being too honest and having self control issues. being too blunt is too easy. that's why it's looked down upon by the academic and majority of ppl i know..what seperates us from most of the animal kingdom (including parrots and mokeys) is self control. you can learn that by religion or organized groups which practice strict discipline. try joining a martial arts club. You get outta with that mouth of yours they'll set you straight, no doubt..

Login to find out (June 21, 2005 at 5:31am)

Throughout the years, quite a few people have not been particularly fond of me because I am blunt and say what is on my mind a lot of the time. I always always allowed myself to have freedom of speech, without directly insulting anyone, but I am very opinionated and some people cannot handle it, I guess. The best way to describe how I've personally felt about this issue is actually from the lyrics of "Can't Hold Us Down" by Christina Aguilera: "So what...am I not supposed to have an opinion?
Should I be quiet just because I'm a woman?
Call me a b**** cause I speak what's on my mind. I guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled." Recently however, I have tried to control myself from being so blunt and from speaking my mind so easily, though. I try not to be so honest anymore, and just keep my mouth shut, and "be seen, not heard." I guess thats just the best way to be a people-pleaser.

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