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London Screw story....


Lets write a story...

Rules

1) complete sentences only
2) you cannot enter another sentence until someone else has written one
3) theme has to be london screw related

i'll start off below...
 

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Login to find out (July 8, 2005 at 5:03am)
T with his very large ears, actually heard the heroine scream out T and recognised her voice immediately.
 
Login to find out (July 7, 2005 at 5:14pm)
she waved them before RK suggestively, erotically, waiting for him to respond. but then she remembered that he'd left his brain in the cupboard under the stairs and gave up.

she looked around despondently. "whats the point of slough," she wondered, "if it's not any fun?"

just then The Sacred Procession of the Holy Lemon Sorbet of the Fair Maiden of Slough, was winding its way down the lane. RK was busy guzzling some sorbet in the gutter, rolling around on his back like one of his donkeys on the farm. the man really was a spectacle without his brain.

as the Procession passed by our heroine, someone let out a scream and yelled: "like. oh. my. god. its my dear old friend from primary school, it's T---" but the person didnt get to say our heroine's name because just then one of the trumpets let out a long blow.

Our heroine couldnt believe her eyes and she wished she wasnt with RK, who by now was covered in his own filth. "Please dont think i'm with him," she inwardly wished. "Please. Please."
 
Login to find out (July 7, 2005 at 2:47pm)
she decided to pull out her handcuffs from her pocket...
 
Login to find out (July 7, 2005 at 2:38pm)
"Great!" our heroine said. "That's all I need. And in public too."
 
Login to find out (July 7, 2005 at 2:28pm)
To attention it stood
 
Login to find out (July 6, 2005 at 12:32pm)
RK stripped all the way down to his y-fronts and our heroine watched on with morbid fascination. "is there nothing this man won't do for attention?" she wondered.
 
Login to find out (July 6, 2005 at 12:26pm)
RK in excitement started stripping off his clothes...
 
Login to find out (July 6, 2005 at 11:57am)
except it wasnt barnia or snow, as everyone soon discovered to their dismay. they'd ended up in central Slough! the locals had just covered everything in lemon sorbet as part of a bizarre spring ritual to make the fair maidens of the town more fertile and the young men more virile. RK's mouth started to foam at the sight of so much delicious sorbet. our heroine slapped her forehead and moaned, "i wish i'd just stayed in bed today!"
 
Login to find out (July 6, 2005 at 11:40am)
but the pub wasn't a pub - behind the pub door was the land of barnia where it was covered with snow....
 
Login to find out (July 6, 2005 at 9:53am)
they grew larger and larger until the head star said, "oh f*** this. it's sunday. let's all go down to the pub." and so they did, our heroin and RK following.
 
Login to find out (July 6, 2005 at 9:14am)
Out appeared, millions of stars which began to grow larger and larger...
 
Login to find out (July 5, 2005 at 5:51pm)
 
Login to find out (July 5, 2005 at 6:49am)
Behind the sofa, RK and our heroine discovered a trapdoor leading into a parallel dimension. Silmultaneously, they both went for the door and the coconut-like sound of their heads colliding delighted Daisy. As they fell into the sinister void ("Always falling," RK would say years later in his memoirs. "Always falling but never landing."), our heroine recalled a similar event in her childhood involving a schoolfriend, a white rabbit and a hole, but she couldn't remember if it had really happened or she'd just made it up. For a moment she wondered what the correct form of etiquette in such a situation was. Does one tumble head first or feet first? Should one close one's eyes and is it acceptable not to scream? Also, she was having a Marilyn Monroe moment with her skirt and was sure RK was staring. Just then, her thoughts were interrupted by RK's whining. He'd just remembered that he'd left his brain at home, in the cupboard under the stairs. Our heroine rolled her eyes and rued the day she'd signed up to the agency. Being a character in a novel or play definitely had its ups (it got you off JSA and out into the fresh air), but this was desperation gone mad. She was sure the Wicked Witch who ran the agency was just preying on the unemployed and inwardly vowed to take her to an industrial tribunal if she ever got out of this one.
 
Login to find out (July 4, 2005 at 8:45am)
But it wasn't over! RK hadn't realised that one of the cows had sudden diarrheoa and had decided to go get some medicine from RK's house. She had actually viewed the whole event throw the living room window...
 
Login to find out (July 4, 2005 at 8:23am)
Then they got it on and the whole sordid affair was over...
 
Login to find out (July 4, 2005 at 7:02am)
Meanwhile RK pleased with Daisy's behaviour, decided to offer her into his living room for a cuppa milk. 'Moooo' - she cried with joy as she skipped towards his house...
 
Login to find out (July 4, 2005 at 6:22am)
but unfortunately it didnt notice the gust of wind and that was the end of that little line.
 
Login to find out (July 1, 2005 at 7:24pm)
so that was the invention of the talking heroin. it was white, snortable but had a voice....
 
Login to find out (July 1, 2005 at 12:18pm)
...which is really quite something because it's not often you get to see talking heroin...
 
Login to find out (July 1, 2005 at 11:59am)
one of the cows, Daisy, who'd always been a bit of a rebel, opted out of the plopping out of respect for farmer Reginald Khan who hated that sort of carry on. on the other hand, RK ran back into the house with the shrill, mocking laughter of a herd of cows nipping at his heels. he really couldnt stand the smell. he was the only farmer of asian descent in Europe. sometimes he'd wake up wondering whether being the black sheep of the family (his ten brothers were doctors and IT engineers) was worth it. especially when "his girls" behaved so appallingly in public. no shame at all. meanwhile, the heroin of our story looked around, shook her head and moaned: "How on earth did it come to this?!"