haha slimshorty, that description of innocence/ being treasured is nice

Any guy can make you feel loved/cared for in the beginning. It was more of a safe feeling. Something inside kept reassuring me that I will have that kept like treasure feeling. There is no garauntee in life. But if you're a wise woman...which you seem like very much...you can recognize that innocence in a man immediately. The bad boy stuff is attactive outside the walls of your house. In your home you want a family man that can be your own bad boy that no one else has to know about.

Slimshorty.. what does the 'vibe of future security' feel like.. I'm guessing you're saying he made you feel loved/ cared for?

Cool..... I am gonna paste your comments on there...!

Labs: by the way I have been dying to share my input on the more than one wife journal..unfortunately it won't let see it through my profile..I use my hubby's profile...so this is not the place for it but I gotta let you know....my hubby can say what he wants...HIS MOTHER WOULDN'T LET HIM DO IT..haha I am in total agreement with you. I know it's allowed...but it is impossible for them to treat more then one wife equally...they just like the notion that is allowed and it boost their male ego...Besides I thought i read somewhere you need the consent of the first wife. Stand Tall Girlfriend...I am with ya!!!

hey, labs: I was looking for Mr. right for 4-5 years. See my mom past away when I was ten...every other mother saw an oppurtunity for their son's green card and what not. I had like 500 purposals....some were good but you just know when it's right. I almost gave up..then I decided to look on the internet on muslimwedding.org...I was on theremaybe two weeks...started talking to this guy for three days..on the phone for 3 weeks..next thing I knew I was engaged. Two months later married..and a year later I am having a baby due this august. But I have to tell you..I wasn't relying on the net..I was ready to delete my profile...that same day I received an email from him. Point being..you can meet your significant other anywhere....wedding, supermarket, school, party, internet,..by accident..it's not where you meet someone..the more you look for it..the harder it is..it just happens..when you let it happen. By the age of 25 I knew if I guy gave me that vibe of future security.( security in terms of happiness and togetherness..not financially..that comes later anyway). When we met..our families thought we were crazy to decide so fast. But we believed in each other..and Alhamdhulilah..we are very happy. Lemme know what you are looking for. I have some friends in NY.

Ah,ok, I have heard a few people say that, how did you meet out of interest.

In my case, I wasnt looking and it just happened. Some girls spend so much time and so much of their effort 'looking' for Mr. Right. Sometimes the best things happen when you least expect them. It sounds cliched but its so true.

Wow.. thanks for sharing the detail Jamila, that all sounds really useful

I met my husband through a mutual friend. I was looking for about 2 years. I really think this is the best way because a mutual friend can vouch for the character of each person. Many times aunties don't really know people like friends do.

Also, check out shaadi.com. I met some really nice guys off that and they were all normal and extremely educated. Of course you have to be selective. I only met guys offline who had mutual people in common with me. There are a lot of random people who are greencard seekers on those matrimonial websites, but there are also really good quality people who are having problems meeting nice girls too.

Another tip is to attend social events everywhere. Go to isna, appna, both local and out-of-state events. I never attended a matrimonial event, but many of my friends are going to those now. I know 3 girls who met exceptional guys at the ISNA one. If you are interested in charity work, go to those events as well because you will meet like-minded people. You never know where you're going to meet your significant other. You're never going to meet anyone sitting home. Of course enjoy or singledom at the same time.