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MARRIED/DIVORCED WITH KIDS


I HAVE COME ACROSS SO SO MANY WOMEN DIVORCED WITH 3/4 CHILDREN MARRYING YOUNGER MEN WHO WILL TAKE ON THEY CHILDREN AND ALL FINANCIAL AND EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!!! WHY ARE THESE MEN PICKING MOTHERS THAN THE YOUNG SINGLE ONES??
 

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Login to find out (May 17, 2005 at 7:25pm)
no.. read it again.,. the recommended bit is only for someone devoted to their religion who wants to put their religion first.. no other reason / excuse is accepted
 
Login to find out (May 17, 2005 at 11:55am)
in ur own words....'recommended'...hence...re commended IS NOT the same as compulsory..HENCE sunnat not the same as farz!!!
 
Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 5:16pm)
Conditions of marriage (from www.usc.edu ): Careful consideration of the Qur'anic injunctions and the traditions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) clearly show that marriage is compulsory (wajib) for a man who has the means to easily pay the mahr (dowry) and to support a wife and children, and is healthy, and fears that if does not marry, he may be tempted to commit fornication (zina)..................... It is also compulsory for a woman who has no other means of maintaining herself and who fears that her sexual urge may push her into fornication. But even for a person who has a strong will to control his sexual desire, who has no wish to have children, and who feels that marriage will keep him away from his devotion to Allah, it is commendable (mandub) - (((((note the last one is for someone who is so devoted to religion they want to be monk.. even then marriage is recommended))))
 
Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 5:14pm)
but nush, from what you've quoted, it is more than a tradition, something which it's imporant to follow: as it's mentioned in the Quran 'And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect. (30:21)'...unlike other religions, marriage is not given as an option but as something we should try to follow, eg. as soon as you're able to earn you're supposed to marry....."When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."...... which shows that marriage is a given..... The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion because it shields him from promiscuity, adultery, fornication, homosexuality etc., which ultimately lead to many other evils like slander, quarreling, homicide, loss of property and disintegration of the family. According to the Prophet (peace be upon him) the remaining half of the faith can be saved by taqwa.
 
Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 5:01pm)
hmmm..labs...sorry i beg to differ....Umer is right in a way...and i quote: The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) declared "O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." (Al-Bukhari)
Marriage, in fact, is specifically considered the tradition (sunnah) of Prophet Muhammad (saw) when he declared:

"Marriage is my Sunnah....(that is a recommended action of the Prophet) whoever disregards my (sunnah) path is not from among us"....
 
Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 11:15am)
i don't think marriage is sunnat.. it's more compulsory than that.. as men who asked the prophet whether they could opt out (and to curb their urges get castrated) were told, no you must marry... Nush, I still think we're ignoring a factor here.. a 26 year old may have simpler needs than a 34 year old.. ie. he may think - i want to marry- there's a nice girl.. end of story.. a 34 year old may think.. what if she's a after my money.. i'm sur i can do better than her.. or why not go for the prettier 18 year old i know.. men on other journals have also said they prefer older women to younger ones (may be because they see them as more mature.. i have asked the question there and will let u know..)
 
Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 4:59am)
mamad,, just for you i'll not use CAPITALS!!!!! well now i'm a hyprocrite as i got chatted up by a 25year old and i love telling him,, i'm TWENTY-NINE,,,,,but these young lads don't seem bothered, but i must say some of them are very mature, and can have proper conversations,, i found out in my research that these younger lads seem to talk openly about they feeling and communication is very open,,,, maybe this is why the younger lad wants an older women,,!!!
 
Login to find out (May 13, 2005 at 9:37am)
lol at missy l!!!!........u funny bird! :P....
mamad, each person is different..i was actually stating what the prophet (pbuh) had stated luv :)
 
Login to find out (May 13, 2005 at 4:35am)
not sure if i agree with you mamad. i knew my bro-in-law before he married my sis and i must say he was a playa.. was reluctant for my sis to marry him but he is a new man now. quite unbelievable...
 
Login to find out (May 13, 2005 at 4:11am)
Miss, don't type in capitals, its not very nice.
 
Login to find out (May 13, 2005 at 4:07am)
MAMAD ARE YOU SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE OR ARE YOU SPEAKING AFTER A JINN AND SPIRIT!!
 
Login to find out (May 13, 2005 at 3:40am)
Nush, I disagree. It all depends on a person's personality. If they cheat before they're married they're going to do it afterwards as well. Getting married isn't suddenly going to change someone into a whole new being. If you believe that, you're simply kidding yourself.
 
Login to find out (May 13, 2005 at 3:33am)
wow nush26 that is true and deeply said,,,
 
Login to find out (May 13, 2005 at 2:41am)
yup Kuri, they do......Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions. The Prophet (pbuh) considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion because it shields him from promiscuity, adultery, fornication, homosexuality etc., which ultimately leads to slander, quarreling, homicide, loss of property and disintegration of the family. According to the Prophet (peace be upon him) the remaining half can be saved by taqwa.
 
Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 6:31pm)
Do they not say marriage is completing "half of your deen"???
 
Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 3:08pm)
wot u laughin at doc?
 
Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 3:06pm)
lol.
 
Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 2:59pm)
Missy,

Marriage is a sunnat, it is not a farz. Some of the big Islamic scholars never married because of the devotion to their work and studies.

Umer M.
 
Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 1:46pm)
gosh this is far too serious for a london crew journal!
 
Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 3:57am)
well stressful or not,,, i want to get married as i want to have kids, being the only child-i have a lot of pressure from my parents as they think they are getting so old and if i'm not married they won't see they grandchildren,,,,,,,,,, i think they watch toooo much ZEE TV!!!!----- but on a serious note, a lot of things in life are stressful, jobs, careers, marriage,,,, but islamically Marriage is a firz so girls whether you marry a teenager or an old man,, you have to get married islamically as this is the only way our religion will grow and get stronger and our family name will be dragged in mud, by our little devils!!!!!