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Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Marry Me?
Do muslim women feel more and more like they are "settling" by choosing to marry a Muslim male (regardless of whether one feels they have to or not)? For example, say you decide that you are only going to marry a muslim guy, when you decided that, did you accept for yourself that you will probably be "settling" because in your experience muslim men seem less and less like the ideal? I'm basically wondering if muslim women who chose to marrry (or feel they have no other option) muslim males feel they are making a compromise because of the type of muslim guys out there today.
Comments on this journal
and you keep rejecting me! Lower your standards, sheez!
Dirty diapers on the other hand...........ewwwwww
:)
Interestingly, I've been getting a more mixed reaction than I thought I would. Overall though it seems like it's a pretty common phenomenon.
But people are people and (I was disappointed to learn this after converting) the reality is for the most part in the way people behave (akhlaq) there is little difference from one group to the next. Not so religious Muslims act pretty much the same as not so religious Christians - barring cultural differences and slight differences in social mores, etc.
I get the impression that traditionally in most Muslim cultures spouses have been found through tight community networks - everyone knowing everyone else and being able to help people connect, find who they're suited for ( that is, if they matched actually trying to find a suitable suitor rather than just looking at trying to match certain families or for money or status, etc.)
Those networks may still exist for some, but definitely not for all of us. And they may be less effective because we're more spread out, etc.
If I want to meet a guy for marriage - pretty much Internet is it because there isn't much of a Muslim community here. And I feel I have to be really careful because I don't have someone I can ask is this guy for real, what is he like, hey you know both of us do you think we'd be suited for each other, etc.
I think both Muslim men and Muslim women have trouble to find quality mates. Moreso than non-Muslims - probably because we are fewer and farther between.
I don't see in my own experience that non-Muslims are any better in those things (not considering religion at all - just other factors) - it is just that there are a lot more of them to choose from. So by pure numbers you may find more non-Muslim men with a certain set of desirable traits but proportionally I don't know if there is any difference.
I don't think I implied, or certainly did not mean to, that you would be one someone would settle for.
I could not be happy marrying just any Muslim, but there are good Muslim men, pious Muslim men with good qualities. Just need to find the right one for me, insha'allah.