Village Journals
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
MARRYING LATE IN LIFE!!!
I HAVE COME ACROSS SO MANY MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE CONSIDERING MARRIAGE IN THEY LATE 30'2 AND 40'S,,,,, IS THIS TOOO LATE??
ARE WE SO SET IN OUR WAYS THAT WHEN MARRYING THIS LATE WE ARE A BUNCH OF MISERABLE TOSSERS????
IS IT ADVISABLE FOR PEOPLE TO MARRY LATE???
IS THIS A FASHION STATEMENT????
ARE WE SO SET IN OUR WAYS THAT WHEN MARRYING THIS LATE WE ARE A BUNCH OF MISERABLE TOSSERS????
IS IT ADVISABLE FOR PEOPLE TO MARRY LATE???
IS THIS A FASHION STATEMENT????
Comments on this journal
I was 20 and really didn't know what marriage meant and the whole arranged marriage thing was just rushed and things were going on in the background which were not discussed with me.
I feel that I really did not have much input into the build up leading to the marriage. Basically, I didn't see the girl properly until the day of marriage. People will always say why didn't you just say NO but at that time I just bucled under the pressure and the whole situation was a bit overwhelming.
I would have much preferred to get to know someone and then marry rather than just go to Pakistan and just marry for the sake of it.
Faz: The whole arranged marriage business is such a laugh! The chances are, its the parents that are trying to get their children married but the children themselves don't really know what they want. So the obvious thing is to go for looks and money! Thats a great basis for a good marriage...NOT!!
I totally agree with the movie comment too, a lot of girls seem to live in this bollywood world and think that marriage is just like its portrayed in the films...time to take a reality check I think!!
I could tell based on the tough questions I asked, that the girls had never considered (a lot of basic things as part of being married). Most of the girls thought it was more like a desi movie to get married or something to that effect. A handful of the aunties even gave my parents incorrect info so that we would come over just to visit.
It's very tough for you UK people... i must admit. I think the drama caused by the community is what makes it hard for the generation to actually meet anyone. I'm just glad my cousins out there have met people in school. Cuz if they had to make the rounds thru meeting families, that is SUCH a pain in the butt. For girls its much easier to waste the guys time, because its expected for the guy to come and meet the girl.
Plus UK girls don't even want to relocate away from their own town.
Marrying the right or wrong person has really nothing to do with it. Your criteria for what you are looking for might change and it really is the criteria on what you are looking for that makes the difference. Making the effort to find someone who is understanding and respects your views is should be #1 in everyones book. Sometimes those things fall lower in the priority scale if other factors are bumped higher from external influences... like money, looks, showy-ness, friends opinions, etc...
If you are true to yourself and use your critical reasoning abilities to find a person who can work with you... you can basically get along with any partner in this world. Its when people stop communicating or working together that they have a fall out. Even finding your soul mate at age 40 doesn't mean you will be together at age 41.
People just aren't able to be flexible and start thinking as a couple. It takes time for people to adjust to each other and in this instant gratification world... no one has time to wait for that. The only difference between an awful marriage and a good one is what you perceive on the outside when u look at other couples. On the inside everyone is dealing/working with some issue. It's how they handle that relationship is what makes it awful/wonderful. IMHO
T1gger - good idea on the VE :)
I was going to suggest that you start a VE for your peoples favorite cartoons.
We;ve all decided its best to just enjoy life and when you're meant to marry..it will happen!!
I see my cousins, relatives and friends married and with kids and it makes me feel a bit sad.
I'm 32 now and was 20 when I had my arranged marriage in pakistan which was a big mistake and a disaster but I won't go into that.
I have a lot of the X-men cartoon series on DVD. I totally forgot about inspector gadget... I want to go get that now, thanks for reminding me :)
Out here they let kids of all ages and sizes play on the swings :( looks like the UK attendants are pretty stuffy. :P
I nearly failed my masters degree because I used to spend the morning watching X-men and Inspector Gadget!!
Anyway its good to be a kid at heart and to let go and do stupid things every now and then. I've lost count of the number of times I've been thrown out of parks because I'm too big to go on the swings. If any of you are planning to do the same...avoid Regents Park..there is always an attendant there!!!
right now i'm on a big kick to collect cartoons from when I was a kid. I love that stuff :)
Bouncing is what tiggers do best..but I am too old for that...they won't even let me on the bouncy castles anymore...keep telling me I am too old :-
Tigger's like to bounce from what I can remember ;)
Yea... i have paki cousins that just don't get it either. I mean the kind that were raised there and never let go even tho they live out here. So I know what you mean about needing to get up in their face and not having to take $hit. I've washed my hands of them family or not. :P
Thanks for all your supportive comments...its comforting to know that there are some open minded individuals out there that aren't going to knock the likes of me!!
Jazakallah Khair :)