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Mental health hotline :)


Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.



If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.



If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.



If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.



If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.



If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.



If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.



If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press-no-one will answer.



If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.



If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.



If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.



If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.



If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.



If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.



If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.



If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.



If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.



If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
 

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Login to find out (June 26, 2005 at 4:41pm)
hi Paradise924
ur right.. although in general any kinda mental illness is crippling.. we just dont see how they can affect peoples lives
 
Login to find out (June 26, 2005 at 4:25am)
I know someone who has obsessive-compulsive disorder...it can be a crippling disease if it gets out of hand.
 
Login to find out (June 23, 2005 at 12:40pm)
u know.. i got an eamil with this on it before and a yr ago would have found it funny... however now i am working in mental health and have alot of empathy for people with mental health needs... amazing how we learn and change