New Muslims, lessons learnt?

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New Muslims, lessons learnt?

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am sure many converts may have faced some challenges while trying to integrate into a Muslim community because of cultural baggage some muslim communities hold and due to other factors.

If you are to give your brothers and sisters who were born into Muslim Families advices on how to treat new muslims, what to do, what NOT to do (or say), what would be your advice? What would you tell those responsible for the Masjid to do differently? What would you tell the Imam(s)?

Answers will insha-Allah be used in a constructive way in an article/speech about new Muslims.

thanks
Edgard

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Yes, I had the "let me find you a husband" thing going on for a while (until I got married, which I did 100% on my own, ha-ha). It was expressedly annoying because I kept being introduced to brothers I found quite scary-- extremist types, sans greencard of course. One brother I was intro-ed to (mind you, this was about nine years ago) was the very same one who had literally YELLED at me outside the mesjid one night for standing OUTSIDE the mesjid. (pardon me, didn't know I couldn't exist within eyesight!)

Mutual understanding. We all are only human and are prone to error. Allah has brought us together for a reason ( ie converts and Muslim raised). Perhaps,one person's "stupid comment" or "ignorant remark", may be the cause by which Allah in His infinite wisdom and mercy admit one of us into jinnah and pardon another of us from hellfire....learn patience, love, forgiveness and mercy for your brother and sister Muslim, no matter how long they've been at it!
** Please remember to pray for forgiveness of sins of our ummah and the guidance of our non-Muslim family members. Ameen!**

Has anyone faced the challenge of marriage "peer-pressure"?? :-) "brother let me find you a wife"... "brother are you still single?" (yeah since the last time you asked me 3 days ago, I still am). "sister you need to get married"

All those are excellent points, may Allah reward you all!! I'll create a new post re positive stuff

oops, PS- I also think some of those same advices should be for we converts in regards to those who were raised Muslims. It's a two way street in many ways.

Several things:

1. If you are unaware if they are a new convert or if they are a convert who is new to *you*, try not to assume they converted yesterday.

2. Inclusion, without the expectation of the convert assimilate. Muslims are diverse, not Borg.

3. Don't belittle, but also don't fawn. It's a double-edged sword many of us end up with as converts- those who pedestal us (for no reason) and those who liken us to rubbish (also for no reason). We're neither superMuslims nor fake ones.

when i converted at the mosque, the women were asking me if i knew anything about islam. as if i was converting out of total ignorance. i even mentioned i had planned on going to grad school in middle eastern and islamic studies. after i converted, i was given a pamphlet (yes, a pamphlet) on the very very basics. this, to me, was totally insulting. maybe their intentions were good, but still.

my advice: don't always treat us like we are idiots. we're not converting because we don't know about the religion (or maybe in this case, i was marrying one), i'm converting because i know basically what i am getting into.

I would say do not ignore them and leave them alone when they come into masjid, etc. Make salaam to them, make conversation with them, invite them into your social circle.

Salaam alaikum. I think that the community should do their best to make the new Muslims feel comfortable. Introduce them to others in the community, tell them about classes that are available. One really important thing is to not judge them and ask about their past and DO NOT question why they became Muslim or what their motives are. That is really judgemental and really offends someone. Allah forgives everything before someone embraces Islam, why should anyone else be worried about it? Also, don't worry, complain, pester about little things that aren't really important when someone is trying to learn the basics of Islam such as eating with right hand, style of dress, etc. The beginning is a real critical time in making someone feel comfortable and accepted.

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New Muslims, lessons learnt?

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Village Journals

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