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OK Mum!


I find it really annoying when a girl cares for a guy, whether it be their partner or male friend and if she suggests he should do something to better himself, they turn around and say 'ok mum'!

I mean isn't it in a girl's nature to care like a mother? Both are after all females. I mean if a guy suggests something to us, we don't turn around and say 'yes dad'!

Is it just me or do any of you girls get it??
 

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Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 10:13am)
YEH SAHADAT YOU ARE HORRIBLE!!!!!! CP WE'RE GONNA SEND IT LAILA'S ANGELS TO SORT THIS OUT JUST FOR YOU!!!!
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 10:06am)
perhaps you're a bit biased?
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 10:04am)
yeah! i'm horrible, me!
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 10:03am)
err am i?? perhaps. nice new pic!
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 10:02am)
cp ur a bit biased
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 10:00am)
nah he's lurvley!
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 8:56am)
cp get the hints of what sahadat is like???? control freak!!!
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 8:48am)
can i moan too?
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 8:26am)
Aftab: I don't think adults are more complex than kids, really! We just have more accreted behaviour... Imagine our nafs as a bunch of little kids rather than just one. They crave our attention... once we become obsessed by them they run rings around us, adapting to survive. I'm pretty sure you're as self-analytical as I am - so you'll know what's its like to go round and round in circles as you chase the source of your irrational behaviours... But the source is yourself so you end up like a dog chasing its own tail.

Refuse to get involved, abandon your nafs, surrender to the universal (rather than the specific) and you cut off the blood supply to your nafs. They lose their hold on your attention. You control them, rather than the other way round. It's a basic Sufi tenet: Islam is surrender. And, paradoxically, through surrendering you regain control.

(Zee's going to moan at me for getting all deep now!!)
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 8:01am)
aftab you seem to give all the gals tooooo much attention!!!,,,,,, this is why we love you to bits!!!!
 
Login to find out (July 18, 2005 at 5:50am)
WELL IS CP IS LIKE TALLAH THEN SAHADAT YOU'D NOT WANT ME TO TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE LIKE?????
 
Login to find out (July 16, 2005 at 12:22pm)
sahadat, i am not like tallah! of course i will smile to someone who smiles to me though. i can also ignore you!
 
Login to find out (July 15, 2005 at 1:49pm)
Aftab. I have always used that approach with my nephews. I learnt it from a programme I watched years ago about wild horses in the American plains. When a herd member does something against the rest of the group, it gets ignored until it eventually makes amends. It works on any animal that has a strong group instinct. As far as my experiments go, it doesn't seem to work on cats. Whenever one of my nephews does something bad, I completely ignore him and focus attention on the other one. For example, if one of them is throwing a tantrum, I say to the other: "Wow, Zayn, you're being really nice and quiet. Showing everyone how grown up you can be." Almost instantly, the other one (Nayim) stops being bad. It's wonderful playing kids against each other cos it works everytime. Kids crave adult attention and if you focus on good things, they'll do that even more. If you ignore their bad actions (but make sure you tell them why), they'll soon learn to be good! I think this principle will work on men. I've never experimented with/on men so maybe one of the chapettes can enlighten us.
 
Login to find out (July 15, 2005 at 10:40am)
ITS ACTUALLY A BOY'S NAME COMES FROM ALLAH TALLAH!!!
MY OTHER NEPHEW IS CALLED "HUMBLE",,,,,,,,,,,,,WE HAVE SOME STRANGE UNUSUAL NAMES??
 
Login to find out (July 15, 2005 at 10:31am)
Tallah sounds like you, Choti!
 
Login to find out (July 15, 2005 at 10:08am)
KIDS LIKE ATTENTION,,,,, REWARDING A KID OR PRAISING YOUR ACKNOWLEDGING ITS GOOD BEHAVIOUR WITH A REWARD AND PRAISAL,,,,,,,,, WHEN YOU IGNORE BAD BAHAVIOR THE CHILD UNDERSTANDS A NEGARTIVE FEEDBACK FROM YOUR BODY LANGUAGE AND BEHAVIOUR!!!SO CP I SUPPOSE THE CHILD DOES UNDERSTAND,,,,,,,,,,,, MY NEPHEW TALLAH IS 5 MONTHS BUT WHEN YOU SMILE HE SMILES BACK AND RAISES HIS HANDS IN THE AIR,,,WHEN YOU CHANGE YOUR FACE EXPRESSIONS TO SAD HE'LL LOOK AT YOU IN CURIOUSITY AND THEN IF YOU PUSH IT FURTHER,, POOR BABY WILL CRY AND GO TO SOMEONE FAMILIAR LIKE MUMMY!!!!
 
Login to find out (July 15, 2005 at 10:08am)
Choti: Ignoring someone can be very powerful. Shall I show you?
 
Login to find out (July 15, 2005 at 10:03am)
SO AFTAB ARE YOU GOING TO REWARD ME AS I HAVE BEEN A VERY VERY GOOD GIRL,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
Login to find out (July 15, 2005 at 10:03am)
then how will the kid know that they are being bad?
 
Login to find out (July 15, 2005 at 9:59am)
Yeah, Aftab, I remember reading that in some sufi text about how to treat the nafs of others (meaning other adults)... basically it said that pouring attention on someone's vices only increases those vices. It compared it to two channels through which water flows. Concentrate on the positive channel (praising and expressing admiration) and it will form a river. Removing attention from the negative channel (ignoring it and blatantly refusing to acknowledge such behaviour) leads to that channel drying up.