I am
The by product of
Futile efforts of indoctrination
From confused immigrants attempting to balance,
Juggle,
Ideologies
Societal, religious, cultural
And personal
Stemming from
Societal, religious, cultural
And instill within their offspring
Lack consideration for personal space
Yes.
I am that first generation immigrant kid
Refusing,
Denying,
Reluctant to welcome destiny
Contemplated and conspired
Through and through
Since conception
Experiencing barren search for identity
Since kindergarten
Extending way beyond 12th grade
And into the (by then) already existent
(mid)life crisis
Future expellee from lives and homes
Of those mass contributors
To identity crisis
Associated by blood relation
But never affiliated by philosophy
Enraged,
Disappointed souls
Of descendants incapable of measuring unto predictions
And reliances upon which
The prior feasted upon
Since the day set foot
On this
?god forsaken? land
Inner animosity and insecurities
Disguised as love and care and concern
Persuaded,
Injected
Recurrently
To always accommodate
Never assimilate
Typical bickering over affairs
Considered petty
Arranged marriages
And choice of clothing at the next desi party
Exclusively comprised of
Doctors
And engineers
Suffocation to its fullest
Reminders of personal failure
Pacing from this room to that
Faking verbal constipation
Eventually bound
By guilt and love
Illogically cohesive
In this instance only
To forget
But never forgive absolutely
Compelled through
?psychic? phenomenon?s
To quench yearnings
Professedly brief
Then deceitfully minor
In actuality, fatal
Pecularities,
Misunderstandings and misrepresentations
of societal, cultural, religious,
and personal ideologies
one ally required to
?surrender?
But never both
And rarely neither
Again
The elapsed dilemma deduced as,
(ab?) ?normal?
(Once and twice and twice)
This scene rewinded
Next occurrence of
Misunderstanding
Implicated as
Stubborn refusal to cooperate
only
i n c o r p o r a t e