A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
>perch.
>
>It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder
>what
>happened to this parrot?"
>
>The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
>
>"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
>
>"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
>intelligent
>thoroughly educated bird."
>
>"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your
>perch without any feet?"
>
>"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked,
>I
>wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see
>it
>because of my feathers."
>
>"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't
>you?"
>
>"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
>reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
>physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really
>ought to
>
>buy me. I'd be a great companion."
>
>The guy looks at the $20000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford
>that."
>
>"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody
>wants
>me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just
>make
>the guy an offer!"
>
>The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
>
>Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor,
>he's
>interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
>sympathizes,
>and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
>
>One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
>"Psssssssssssst,"
>and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you
>this
>or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
>
>
>"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>
>
>"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the
>
>door in a sheer black nightie."
>
>
>"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
>
>
>"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie
>and
>began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
>
>
>"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
>
>
>"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees
>and
>
>began to kiss her all over...."
>
>
>
>Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
>
>
>
>"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
>
>
>If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day
>