HIT?? AND DO IT LIGHTlY??!

Please tell me you're joking. The ayah mentioned below does not permit men to beat or hit their wives, even if they were the worst partners ever.
This is what I get from reading the end part of that ayah: that if a wife is so horrible, and her husband tries numerous times to advise her and try to make her a better person by realizing what she is doing is wrong, and that then and only then will that husband be permitted to TAP his wife's forehand- not beat the sh*t out of her! And this, in point of view, could work for the wives too.

THIS AYAH DOES NOT, and I repeat NOT, PERMIT MEN TO HIT THEIR WIVES.

Honestly now, if you really think of it, this statement contradicts what the Islamic belief/way of life is.
If we were created equal, and were ordered as muslims to do good things, like treating others (even if they were kafirs) with respect, then how could muslim men possibly be permitted to beat up their muslim wives??! THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

smart women will find other ways to discipline their husbands. trust me you wouldnt want to hit a guy. he may be a jerk and hit you back even harder - or will never forget it and use it against you again and again.

"As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them lightly"......My question is this: Shouldn't a woman also be permitted to beat her husband lightly if he demonstrates disloyalty or ill conduct towards her? Thats just the first question that came to my mind. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone....

Pimplepoppermd, Buddhism has always appealed to me. Such a peaceful religion.....sigh.

sevenatesix, that's correct, i've also read that hadith... and also before you all get unnecesarily upset and leave the religion.. read this in the right context:

"Instead of just talking about the verse in the Quran, lets quote it:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.

Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard.

As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all)." (Surah Nisaa, ayah 34 - 4:34)

The Arabic used that has been translated here to mean "beat them" is "wadribu hunna" the root word from which "beat" has been derived is "daraba"

Crudely put the word daraba can imply the action of hitting/striking. However in Arabic as with ANY LANGUAGE, so its not a special exception due to being Arabic (I emphasize that because much of this can be understood from common sense and a scholar is not necessary, just insight into the pattern and adopted in The Qur'an and an understanding of language)

The words stemming from daraba have been used in many places in The Qur'an and a lot of the time it doesn't mean "hit" the translation and understanding is put in context. For example...

17:48 "See what similes they strike for thee: but they have gone astray, and never can they find a way."

"striking similies" is the translation here for the use of the derivative of daraba the meaning isn't to hit, its to make clear or to give comparison, to reinforce or emphasize. A similar use of the word is seen in the following verses and there are many others like this.

25:9 See what kinds of comparisons they make for thee! But they have gone astray, and never a way will they be able to find!

This verse translates it as "make" - I hope you can understand the diversity of the usage of words. Even using English one can understand the different uses and therefore meanings of the SAME word.

66:10 Allah sets forth, an example to the Unbelievers, the wife of Noah and the wife of Lut: they were (respectively) under two of our righteous servants, but they were false to their (husbands), and they profited nothing before Allah on their account, but were told: "Enter ye the Fire along with (others) that enter!"

darabAllaahu - setting forth and example - again the same use below

14:24 Seest thou not how Allah sets forth a parable? - A goodly word like a goodly tree, whose root is firmly fixed, and its branches (reach) to the heavens,- of its Lord. So Allah sets forth parables for men, in order that they may receive admonition.

I hope that shows how difficult it is to rely on translations of the meaning of The Qur'an solely. If a person does need to rely on translations of the meaning I suggest they try to learn Arabic, if a tiny tiny bit, atleast to differentiate between words in a sentence and match them up, EVEN if you don't understand it. Then when you come across a translation that seems a little dubious, find the word in Arabic and see how else it can be used. This will give a clearer picture of what is being said.

So daraba can mean to "hit" it can mean other forms of "chastising" and much more than that. An Arabic dictionary will show all the possible meanings that can apply. So for someone to conclude it means "beating" your wife, they are quite mistaken and ignorant.

Having established the diversity, we need to look at the interpretation offered by The Noble Messenger on this issue. The "hitting" (if that is indeed the correct translation) is not really of a harsh nature. In fact it isn't allowed to make bruising and as already mentioned it cannot be on the face. Rather it can be concluded that there is no physical purpose to this hitting. It is hardly going to redden the skin! The point being made here is to exert authority and to make a mark of psychology impact. The actual act of motioning a hit shows the strength of the offence and for a wife to be a target of this "attack" from her husband shows the gravity of the situation and impacts upon her psychologically rather than physically.

Using a miswaak for example. I am not aware of The Holy Prophet ever having hit any of his wives.

To give another example of "beating" we can look to the story of Prophet Ayyub. He is known for the tremendous pressure of trials that he went through and he lost all his wealth, children, status and even health. His wife then suggested that Prophet Ayyub try some other means to seek a cure, as Allaah wasn't helping him. Prophet Ayyub was very much angered by this and answered that the years of suffering and grief do not even come close to matching the years of comfort he faced, he admonished his wife for lack of trust in Allaah and made an oath that he would beat her in punishment when his comfort returns. Sure enough, his faith restored all his lost comforts, even his sons were brought back.

So recalled his promise and his wife was worried. however Allaah revealed to Prophet Ayyub that he should not hit his wife to hurt her and infact for the sake of fulfilling his oath he may only "strike" her with silk threads!! - hmmm, and how much would that hurt?!

And also ... the Prophet (pbuh) said the best among you is the one who best treats his wife. This is in numerous ahadith and also in the following ayah (surah Nisaa)

4:19 "O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness..."

By default no section of Qur'an contradicts another section. So any apparent "contradiction" is no contradiction, rather a reconsiliation. We are told we may "hit/admonish" our wives and we are told "nor should ye treat them with harshness" we are also instructed by The Noble Messenher and given examples from other incidences. Put it all together and we can safely conclude that there is no place for "wife beating" in Islaam." (taken from the 'net....)

yep. surah 4 - An Nisa- where they are misusing the text is taken way out of context when guys use the Q to back up their actions... the 'hit lightly' was asked about to the Prophet pbuh and he showed the person a miswak (like a toothbrush) and he showed that a light tap from it is the extent it should go to... so the lesson learned (as i see it) how badly can a tap from a miswak hurt? not much-- therefore it is pretty much a moot issue. the OTHER info mentioned in that verse, asking a neutral party for help, not sharing your bed, etc are more important...

The prophet never beat his wives. For muslims he is supposed to be our role model. So even though in the Quran it say's a light slap on the hand is the only punishment, the prophet never practiced this. So there you go...

In short, NO.

if this is islam then im having a serious think about becomng an athiest...i have had enough of MEN using islam as an excuse to justify all their selfish actions (they feel randy...they get another wife ISLAM.....they feel incomplete/useless....they hit thier wives ISLAM.....etc etc) MAN' s religion

No WAY! THis is NOT ISLAM. Don't let our religion get hijacked! How could someone beating their wife for disobeying him a permission for violence. If anyone can show me clear Islamic data on such-- I will become a buddist immediately.

Shaadihaybarbaa I am also curious to know how this topic about Islam is blown out of proportion? Also, I'd like to hear about some of the other intriguing and beautiful issues about Islam that people have no knowledge of.

Shaadi....: Pls elaborate on the: yet there are other so many extremely intriguing and beautiful issues about islam that ppl have no knowledge of. Tell me one or two that affect family harmony as much as this one? One that affects future generations as much as this one?

FUnny how THIS ISSUE of domestic violence yet remains as one of thos that people have no knowledge of.

Sister-scorpion, I completely agree with everything you said.

Shaadihaybarbaa- how is it blown out of proportion? Please elaborate.

disrespect has nothing to do with anything. I'd like to see any textual proof that disrespect is a "reason" for physical action. Answer- you will not find it.

As for "obey" I'd like to point out that obedience is to Allah primarily and only. While spouses have certain duties to each other (and they number very few), if one doesn't do it, I don't see how the other is allowed to physically hurt. That ayah is very much taken out of context as a reason to abuse, and our own community silently condones it over and over again. Personally, if anyone hit me symbolically or "real", I'd stomp them to the ground, and then get myself a divorce.

One thing I can say is that apparently none of the Prophets or Imams or highest religious people ever hit their wives. Ever. Even the wives who ended up killing them by poison, or who sided with the enemy and were against God's religion, etc.

IMHO; if there is no compulsion in religion, then why should there be in marriage?

Well, welcome to this village. I hope you meet a lot of nice ppl. I'm the few that are not very nice and I'm sorry, I can't tailor my comment so its music to your ears. I just feel this topic about Islam is blown way out of proportion. I have heard ppl debate endlessly (with tears in their eyes) about this issue and yet there are other so many extremely intriguing and beautiful issues about islam that ppl have no knowledge of.

Shaadihaybarbaa, I don't appreciate your comment. I am new to this village, and haven't read any of the other journals. If you don't have enough knowledge to contribute to the discussion or try to answer my question, then don't bother to respond with a remark like that. I am honestly trying to get information about this topic.

Here we go again.