Village Journals
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Post Your Sexist Jokes Here
All jokes must be sexist (this includes, but is not limited to, blonde jokes).
Comments on this journal
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
A. A man
A: Because men fake foreplay!
A. He's breathing
"There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have brain tumor that not even our best expert can operate on. The good news is that this surgery has just received a license to do a new brain transplant procedure that's never been tried before."
Luckily for the patient there had just been an road accident nearby, where unfortunately a young couple had been killed.
The doctor said, "You can have either the man's brain or the woman's brain. The man's brain is ?1,000,000.00 and the woman's brain is ?30,000.00."
The guy couldn't help asking why there was such a big difference in price between the male and female brain.
The doctor replied, "the female brain is used."
The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
Umer M
she asked for a mild heart attack.what happend after that was the husband has a heart attack ten times milder than the wife.
women try being smart......but they not too clever .
The smartest man in the world stood up and said, "The people who would benefit the world the most should be the ones who get the parachutes and I being the smartest man am one of those."
With that he grabbed one and jumped out.
The president looks at the little girl and says "I've led a good long life, you take the last parachute."
And the little girl replies, "Don't worry, we can both have one, the smartest man in the world just jumped out with my backpack."
I can do better!
?Doctor, doctor, my whole body?s in pain. Whichever part of my body I touch, it hurts.?
?Hmm,? says the doctor, ?can you show me what you mean.?
The brunette complies: ?Ow,? she says whilst touching her knee. ?Ow,? she repeats whilst touching her calf. She continues hurting as she touches her arm, shoulder, and belly.
?Hmm,? says the doc. ?You?re not really a brunette are you??
?No,? replies the blushing woman. ?I?m a blonde. How did you know??
?Because you?ve got a broken finger.?
Umer M.
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes -- that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM - she's the richest woman in the world!
Then the frog inquired about her third wish and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!
A. None. Let the bitch cook in the dark.