Village Journals
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Professionalism Test
The following short quiz consists of only four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional."
Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!
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1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
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The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
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Did you say, "Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?" Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend ... except one ... Which animal does not attend?
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Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.
Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
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Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
Avoidable exposure
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, Who was that? It was Bob the next door neighbor, she replies. Great the husband says, Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me? Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
First say
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one. Me first! Me first says the admininistration clerk. I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, Me next! Me next says the sales rep. I want to be in Hawaii relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life. Poof! He's gone. OK, you're up, the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, I want those two back in the office after lunch. Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Doing nothing
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered Sure, why not. So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very highup.
Bullshit
A turkey was chatting with a bull. I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy. Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings replied the bull? They're packed with nutrients. The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bu$$shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
How did you know
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman down below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon. You are hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost & quite frankly, you've not been very much help so far." The woman below responded, "You must be in management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!
.
.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Did you say, "Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?" Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend ... except one ... Which animal does not attend?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.
Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
Avoidable exposure
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, Who was that? It was Bob the next door neighbor, she replies. Great the husband says, Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me? Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
First say
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one. Me first! Me first says the admininistration clerk. I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, Me next! Me next says the sales rep. I want to be in Hawaii relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life. Poof! He's gone. OK, you're up, the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, I want those two back in the office after lunch. Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Doing nothing
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered Sure, why not. So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very highup.
Bullshit
A turkey was chatting with a bull. I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy. Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings replied the bull? They're packed with nutrients. The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bu$$shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
How did you know
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman down below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon. You are hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost & quite frankly, you've not been very much help so far." The woman below responded, "You must be in management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"