Walaikum salam Qamaruddinah :)

Salam Choosa...

Always a pleasure :p

thanks Choosa, an authoritative answer as ever

Very well written Choosa...

Part of this historical reality relates to the different types of marriages that they used to have. The historians records seven types which include: mutah (temporary), istibda (woman gets sperm from a famous man - not her husband - to improve childs lineage, her husband was forbidden to be with her duringthis time), khudn (having sexual relations secretly, similar to having a mistress) and a few other strange combinations.

The above para you wrote, I don't think it has anything to do with Islam , as its all different kinds of Zina (adultry/ extra marital sex).

i second sahadat - now this village entry can be removed, or archived for historical purposes :P

Choosa - fantastic answer. Substantiated and comprehensive. That should be an end to the matter.

CHOOSA is ma man :P

oops.choosa...forgot to say THANKYOU

choosa ..my inferiority complex is killing me now :)

mashallah..

thank you sir choosa :)

Peace be upon upon you,

At XXX's request I'm throwing in my two cents.

The historical context shows that men and women pre-islam and during the early days of Islam would marry upto 50 partners, some had even more. The Quran thus challenged the social norm by limiting the number of women a man could marry to 4. Reading further in the Quran we see that Allah Almighty says that a man will never be able to treat more than one wife fairly, yet at the same time makes fair treatment of multiple wives a pre requisite of faith.

Part of this historical reality relates to the different types of marriages that they used to have. The historians records seven types which include: mutah (temporary), istibda (woman gets sperm from a famous man - not her husband - to improve childs lineage, her husband was forbidden to be with her duringthis time), khudn (having sexual relations secretly, similar to having a mistress) and a few other strange combinations.

In the case of Prophet Muhammad, we often forget to point out that between the age of 25 and 50 he was a monogamist i.e. his marriage with Khadijah, his first wife (who proposed to him, not once, but twice). His subsequent marriages and divorces were after she died, and the Prophet is reported to have said 'I do not desire women' (Darimi) - with the other marriages often having different reasons.

For example, when he married Safiya, the Jews of Arabia no longer rose up against Islam. When he married Habiba, Abu Sufyan the martial chief of the Quraiysh did not rise against Islam. When he married Maumina, as her sister married a chief of the Najdis, the Najdis and the Muslims no longer had any disputes. Etc.

Another aspect that people over look is that the Prophet would spend his times with his wives evenly. Each had her own abode, some worked, some did not. After Asr prayer, when in town, he would visit each of his wives at her own home to ensure that all of their needs were taken care of, and often after maghrib he would visit them all in the same place.

To compare by example to Biblical texts, Prophet Moses had 4 wives (A) Safura Khatoon; (B) Jabshia; (C) daughter of Qeeni; (D) daughter of Habab - Prophet David had 9 wives: (A) Akhomam; (B) Abi Jeeli; (C) Meekal bint Saval; (D) Makka bint Talmi; (E) Hajeet; (F) Abi Taal; (G) Ajlab; (H) Bint Sabaa; (I) Abi Shaag

Amongst the companions there were some who had more than one wife, some who married women who were Christians or Jews. But the predominant action was that 1 man would marry 1 woman.

Also in understanding the verse which reads, 'then marry two, three or four' we should look at the historical custom which this verse addresses where some men would marry young girls to gain access to their inheritance. They would take a 'fee' for managing that wealth, essentially robbing the child of what the child has a right to. This specific historic reality helps us understand the context of this verse - which is very different to a blanket 'marry upto 4 women' statement as often put forward, particularly when later in the same verse Allah encourages people to marry only 1, and Allah knows best.

She is American and resides mostly here in the States, her husband Ghananian and resides there.

good question i encounter this a lot too and most often find myself lost. .i believe there is a logic to whatever Islam says. Its just that at times we don't have ability to understand it and explain it...i wish someone would come up with some good logic.

If a man is married to one doesnt mean he can take on 2 wives or so on. Sure can tell from his receding hair line :P ahm
Its not religious obligation to practice polygamy but an exception for those with needs men and women.

Percieve polygamy like the renowned scholar Yusuf Estes. It provides women more to chose from. A man on the other hand can pursue single women but women can pursue married men and can even do a check if he is kind to his previous wife or wives. Nevertheless he never encouraged it cause now adays women cant imagine their husbands with a 2nd woman as wife...which to some extent legitimate as well.

#:

Qam'nah, i was baffled by this statement of yours:

" I do have a friend whose mother is a 3rd wife, here in America, to her husband in Ghana "

:(

MEN take note...u CANT FUKING HANDLE ONE WOMAN SO DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT TAKING ANOTHER BIATCH :P

Oh, and I do not believe there is any reason given in al-Quran as to the nbr nor any example in understanding from Prophet Muhammad (saw) from hadeeth. It is only fardh to the nbr allowed by Allah.

I do have a friend whose mother is a 3rd wife, here in America, to her husband in Ghana. As well my mother-in-law is a 3rd wife. I have no problem with polygamy in Islam and don't think it matters where you are from for it to be appropriate. How it is applied, as most things, is what causes questions... In America, Canada, and Europe women can benefit from this. Polygamy is not for everyone and does not have to be, as well is not meant to be, but is beneficial to those who can accept it and live it righteously. I hurt my husband's feelings being over opinionated about the wrongs of others (in this) without taking regard to his mother's situation, which she accepted. We all have choices and lessons to learn and should respect other's situation even if it does not mirror our own.