DHTML Menu / JavaScript Menu Powered by Milonic
Already a member? Sign In

Village Journals help
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.

Should a Bitch's Place Be in the Kitchen?


The world's population at large is experiencing a rapid growth among the professional, single demographic. Fewer and fewer people are getting married before the age of 30---if at all. Why?

My personal understanding was that it was b/c women in recent decades have been pursuing education and professional aspirations with equal zeal as men. Yet, the fact remains that nature imposes an "expiration date" on women. We will wilt and wither and pass our prime leaving us with dismal prospects if at all. However, our male counterparts, no matter how hideous, un-hygienic, socially inept, chauvinistic, sexually challenged will ALWAYS have the option of marrying the "hot 18-yr-old bimbo" from a mail-order catalogue of some third-world country......maybe even within the American borders if they're rich enough.

Questions:
#1: Should our generation accept this as a challenge that we are going to face as we are pioneers with the pursuit of male-female equality?

#2) Is it time for some change? I've seen plenty of good-looking, decent women that have pursued their doctorates and such, yet are over 30 and single b/c they've been focusing on finding a man who was equal or higher with respect to professional accomplishment and salary. If we are true feminists, is not anti-thetical to expect a man to always be smarter, stronger, and richer? As long as a man can make enough money to support a family while a woman decides to take her maternity leave from the work-force is it not a bit backwards for a woman to reject a man simply b/c his resume is not as good as hers?

And vice-versa: should men stop being intimidated by women who are more professionally successful b/c it threatens their fragile male ego? If anything the woman could be good source of support in face of an unfortunate recession or lay-off? She may call the shots if she is the bread-winner, but you would also have less pressure to make the mortgage payments and save for retirement and the brats' college fund.

Unfortunately, despite the fact that women are becoming equals to men in the workforce, men still evaluate a woman (consciously and un-consciously) based on her domestic skills and her looks....and all the other mushy female traits.

Of course nature is at play here for both genders, but as humans with the capacity to reason are we not able to question whether our natural disposition to seek certain traits is in line with the demands of modern, urban living? For example, looking for the man with superior athletic ability may not be as important in capitalist America as it was back in the day where men hunted for food in the wild. Hence the need to place greater importance on a man's intelligence than his looks.

OR

#3: Is taming our primal nature beyond our ability to reason consciously? Maybe we are challenging Allah's rules and need to revert back to traditon?

Men should remain the bread-winners and women only be allowed to pursue enough education to raise their children properly, but not enter the workforce? If we follow this model, then would we not face a new host of challenges as an Ummah living in the West? For example, if a woman becomes widowed, how does she earn a living to support her young children and herself? Extended family may not help out as readily as they did in the past. Is it reasonable to adhere to this model despite such risks based on the faith that Allah (S) will take care of things?

===================================
Where/What is the ideal balance? Is there any hope or will the human race eventually disappear b/c everyone decides to pursue their careers at the expense of having a family?
 

Add Comments

 
Add
 

  Comments on this journal

Login to find out (July 30, 2005 at 5:43pm)
not back in chicago yet! but got internet in the west bank! (thanks arafat!)

will let you know though! no worries.
 
Login to find out (July 29, 2005 at 4:49pm)
M: couldn't agree more. Change in the traditional outlook is inevitable for sound and happy life; flexibility/openness is the key without undermining any laws of Islam.
 
Login to find out (July 29, 2005 at 9:38am)
SB, here's the thing. i think the low rate of marriage and high rate of divorce within modern urban living is proof that the institution of marriage is under threat. There is a serious imbalance in the "contemporary" way of thinking. The "ancient" way is what nature may have equipped both genders to be inclined towards, but such ideology sounds ludicrous to us today. Where does one draw the balance? the answer would probably vary for different folks, but the one solid fact is that both genders need to implement flexibility in their roles within the modern family life.
 
Login to find out (July 29, 2005 at 9:21am)
oh. duh! what other implication could the number "4" have in this discussion. hehe.
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 9:00pm)
4slots (as in 4 wives) was pun on your earlier comment.
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 8:58pm)
anything that requires re-definition (re-marking the fence) is the result of imbalance of the previous state. Why did that happen -- cause there were two opposite think tanks.. and in this case it would be ancient against contemprary way of thinking.
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 7:52pm)
but the question is, with the issue of male and female equality regarding the pursuit of ambition, is it possible to find a happy mean. as Mozahm says, even the most successful of women are inclined to choose motherhood over a career once they actually give birth to their own children.
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 7:50pm)
and it seems like we're still struggling to pull the fence out since most of us have our traditional values still lingering in the back of our minds.
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 7:49pm)
SB, i don't think that synthesizing 2 opposing theories is straddling the fence. it's more of pulling the fence out and marking a range where the happy mean resides.
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 7:44pm)
Corporate exec.'s have 4 slots? whaddya mean? i don't get it....
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 6:53pm)
did you guys forget that Men have 4 slots P:. Corporate Executive can exercise remaining slots anytime. ;)
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 6:46pm)
Manas: All dialectics have theories behind them.. or else there are no propositions ;) . Now.. there goes one more rhetoric.
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 6:34pm)
Platoshadow, you're from Chicago? So am I.....
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 3:53pm)
u back in chicago yet?
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 3:52pm)
plato, why don't you?!
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 1:46pm)
hahahaha - stradle!
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 9:49am)
my personal philosophy is that "straddle the fence, and you'll hurt your crotch."
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 9:47am)
and we do see the phenomenon of the corporate executive whose wife decides to stay at home to raise the kids. and instead of appreciating the sacrifice that his wife made by retiring from the workforce, he either consciously or sub-consciously drifting away from his wife and ends up having an affair with a woman he meets at work. however, he keeps the affair on the down-low until the youngest of the kids starts college and then breaks the news to his wife that he is with another woman. what happens then? the woman is screwed! no career, and no companion in her mid-life. she has to start all over again.
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 9:44am)
i am not convinced that a woman's place is ONLY in the kitchen. I also empathize w/ SB's need for wanting to be able to relate to someone. What's a guy to do when he comes home after a busy day of work and wants to vent to his wife, who only has stories to about how the kids are difficult to potty-train or how the neighbor's wife just bought the cutest outfit...blah blah blah.
 
Login to find out (July 28, 2005 at 9:41am)
JCW, you may be a better cook than most women, but it's not all about culinary talent. Women, for example, spend 1/4 of their lives battling hormones. This effects one's moods, their energy levels, they're emotional vulnerability, etc. and the effects are likely to creep into performance on the job occasionally. I'm not saying women are weak, but that they encounter more challenges in working with men. A woman is also likely to be viewed by men differently in the workplace simply b/c a man is so easily aroused visually. A man on the other hand, does not encounter this sort of difficulty, b/c most women are more monogamy-oriented.....I can go on and on.....