Wow, I can finally read this VE

*ConfusedFella looks around*


Hmmmm... okay... bye

Momo: Very well said

Shazia: All I have to say to u is u need to get a LIFE! :P

And what research r u talking about!!. Who was it conducted upon? What was the purpose of it? How did they got their results? Who funded it? I am tired of listening to these stats, which normally have no meaning attached to it and serves only one purpose and one purpose alone; Prove somebodys elses point. Let me guess, this was conducted on some white male/female group, some where in western europe or the US. Where women are working 80-100 hours a day career/home, trying to keep their marriage intact. And their husbands are bz screwing others wives, are alcoholics or spend most time away from home. What we call here, living the American dream. How is that relevant to what we are talking here? Daaah!

Momo: Bingo !! Well said and so true too ! I feel perfection makes a person BLAND !! Whats the use of sharing your life with someone who doesnt want to learn or teach? More than anything else, I feel marriage is abt growing together has humans and preparing for ur Akhirat !

The first thing to recognize, my friend, is that every human can gain utmostly from real and longlasting companionship--from a companion who has enough exposure to a person's faults to be able to compensate for them and to a person's strengths to be able to accentuate them. The problem is that this kinda companionship is difficult to find in friends, who leave because life takes friends in different directions.

Many people these days (both men and women) don't understand that marriage is bout true companionship. What they want is someone "perfect," whatever that is--and, even worse, this idea of "perfection" is largely made by worldly standards, in terms of "hotness," "smartness," "financial stability," etc. Too often, it is the stupidity of these ideas that keeps people away from true companionship. But, admittendly, sometimes it is the understandable fear of getting hooked up with the craziness that exists out there.

I've spoken too much already. Let me repeat my main point: marriage is about companionship, not "perfection." Whoever forgets this simple truth, I believe, is missing out on the few conveniences and simple pleasures that life has to offer.

I needed a good laugh people thanks for it. shazia great info about women being good for man's health......and now life too.hmmmmmmmmmmm :)

Further to Hanza's comments, research has shown that while marriage is good fro men (they live on average one year longeR), it is bad for women (who on average die earlier than single women).

Ergo: men are bad for women but women are good for men

JAZZ: the fact that it happens quite a lot must mean that the man apparently gets something that he wants out of the deal too.

NOTSOFAST: I admit that I'm aiming low but it's boring. Your continued refusal to do anything but exist and opine doesn't make for the most constructive or illuminating of discussions

Uppercut: Frankly I have no idea what you are talking abt. You mean the first post or the post first..kindly let me know. As far as I know, girls tend to like guys who are good with words and thoughts and not spellings :) And I see no dyselxics arnd here for that matter.

Shazia: Shazia u r absolutley right when you say a lot of girls are ready to give up everything for marrying someone abroad. I have seen n number of cases arnd me to prove dat right. The only charm for them is the fragrance of green bills and guy's merits dont make a diff. I really dnt understand why a guy wud want to marry a gal who is jst marrying him for his money. As far as compromising goes ..YES all desi women are taught to make majority of sacrifices in a married life..but I have heard mothers say.."beta tum kisi se kamm naheen hao...dabb ke matt rehnaa..sabb pe raaj karna" and dats coming from a very educated lady with a flourishing career !! And you gals want the guys not to be SCARED !

Shazia: You keep taking cheap shots at me, to the point that you have stop making sense! You dont know anything about me, so stop passing remarks that only makes you look bad. This discussion is NOT about me, so enuff of the personal crap.

I can easily come down to your level but that is not how I roll. Just because we dont agree, it doesnt have to get nasty. Learn & follow a few things about civilized discourse, before you start preachin again..........

on second thoughts......wanna join fightclub!! haha :P just kidding!

NSF: and secondly, re. the sugar daddies comment, there are plenty of women around who can blow a guy's earning potential out of the water... You really should have been born at least 30 or many many more years ago - you'd have fit in perfectly for that time instead of sounding dated and dodo-like now.

NSF: true that about the women who give up and compromise a lot to join their husbands, wherever that may be. I know women willing to do that, in fact quite a lot of women who would do that. At the end of the day, it depends on their own attitudes to what marriage is about. And having been raised in a muslim (and desi) households, women have been raised knowing and expecting to make the sacrifice/compromise of their family, friends etc as you put it. We've have grown up knowing that as a desi women, we are the ones who will have to do that sort of thing and I have not met a single desi women who has refused to do that.

It's a good thing that you are not here to change anyone's mind because having seen your debating style, I doubt if that is at all possible. I strongly suspect not so well done on the expectation management there.

And lastly, believe me, I have not been going beserk on you. You would know if I had been. Rude yes, but not beserk.

Thanks Jazz............appreciate ur appreciation of my straight forwardness

Actually women from here do marry men from back home, its just not that common. The man needs to be imported :P and not many men like that I guess!!! And like I mentioned earlier, women here are not very keen on moving either

So if women are looking for sugar daddies and men are looking for supermodels........that wud keep some of our generations from getting married at all :P or atleast delaying it later in the lives. Come to think of it, this cud solve the population dilemna...... eh? c its all good!! (H)

Shazia: Thanks for the answer. You pointed out some of the issues that you can (also) find common among women brought up here(tradition, family pressure etc.). However, one important distinction that I see is that these women are leaving their families, friends, & everything that they know, behind. They will be living in an entirely different environment. How many gals do you know who are willing to do that for a marriage? That is a big compromise to begin with and wud be one specific example for you to consider. I think the flexibility shown here, b/w women of the East/West might just be the breaking point. It tells a lot about a person or their state of mind. Again, I am just pointing out one aspect. Might not be true for everyone, but its one way of looking at things

As of me not backing up my statements, as claimed by you, now that to me is nothing more than a farce! :P Let me explain that to you. I am not here to change your mind (or any body else). Do you get that? I am here, merely expressing my opinions based on observations and experiences. This is what this discussion is about. There are no rights and wrongs. And its not a theorem where I have to prove anything to you or anyone as a matter of fact. There is too much gray area in these sorta discussions. So you have to stop thinking on those lines. This is the reason I mentioned earlier that you are asking the wrong question (representing a problem in itself). You dont have to agree with me. And similarly, do not have to go berserk on me! :P I dont recall labelling you anything. I think you are reading 2 much into it. Still if it came out that way, my apologies.....Take it ez!............Thanks

hey! I am concurring with u.Its time we starting high lighting this greed....these gals are blinded by this greed....pheeew.

Ofcourse I did.

You admit money is everything to most Pakistani women :P

FIHSAK!!! ofcourse not here !!! but thats what you said.

Did I make that comment in this village? :(

HI!!!! NSF AND EVERYONE!!!!! hey lets loosen up here everyone....everyone has a point at hand ...just take fihzak's remark about pakistani girls!!!! well thats his experience and a little true. But one cannot generalise. I am a paki ...... and I can safely say that it takes all type to fit that status quo.......although money is everything to them....but if u overlook it, then we are perfect. But The Indian gals are super, well educated , opinionated, practical, great cooks,so guys start with accepting diversity in women today, as thats all u will get. As for NSF's comment abt why desi lads go home to marry, thats simply because of the comfort level it brings. I have known people in mixed marriages, unhappy because of the language difference. So ladies, while the guys are loosening up, its time we do the same. My experience and motto now, go with simplicity, and an open mind. P:S make it a rich simple, good looking guy at that (sorry guys ) its to get the ladies to open up. (H)

Shahzelle: Amaa behen sahiba aapne phir ghalat matlab liya humari baaton ka. Bura lagne waali koi baat main ne naheen ki. Bass aapse guzaarish ki thee ki uska matlab samjhaa dain. Jo humari samajh main aaraha thaa?.usi se kuch milta julta aapne khulaasa kiya. Ahaan..interesting thing and a good tip! Thanx :D. I have always admired NSF for his straight forward attitude and over these discussion boards, things do end up getting personal, we just need to avoid that part consciously. And bhi..which experiences are you talking about? Lol you seem so inquisitive. As far as what constitutes a perfect man?the list will vary from person to person and only the ladies can judge that part. People tend to come up with politically correct features. Few admit they want someone with drop-dead good looks who can satisfy all their brazen fantasies or someone with oodles of money to satiate their lust for money. The very idea of a perfect man is superficial.

NSF: Its difficult for me to answer for those whom I have hardly interacted with ? Indians/Pakistanis living abroad. Those who do marry girls from back home, marry for personal reasons. First and foremost, the NRI or NRP tag hides all your faults and blemishes and you can get married to almost any gal of your choice (albeit there are families who can see thru the fa?ade). Shazia rightly pointed out the issue that gals from the subcontinent are more passive and end up making life quieter for you, which I feel is a huge MYTH that has been shattered over n over again. I feel some of the girls living in the west are more traditional than the girls back home. We will start a discussion on the condition of females back here separately, which I am sure will be an eye opener to many. And it just seems to work one way, why don?t gals living abroad want to marry guys back home?