As another year will shortly be a memory, my heartfelt appreciation goes
out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards"
over the past 12 months.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Special thanks to whoever sent me the one about cockroach eggs in the glue
on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open because of the rat pee on them.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove
toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi, or Dr Pepper, since the people who make these
products are atheists .

I no longer use cling film in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a number
for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore,
and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat McDonalds because they are opressors of innocent children
in the third world.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital (for the1,387,258th time)

And any money I did have has been filtered out of my account because I gave
my account details to a man in New Guinea who promised me ?100,000 to
transfer a million dollars for him because the oppression of his government
meant he couldn't have his own money

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special email program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favour! If you don't send this text as an e-mail to at least 100 people in
the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will
land on your head at 5:38 PM this afternoon.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of mine's
next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's hairdresser's customer.

Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

From
Khan31