Well, if you're going to limit your options to one particular ethnic group of Afghanistan (pashtuns) rather than Afghans as a whole, then obviously it will be difficult. Since you're so hesitant about marrying a non-pashtun and don't want an arab or desi either, try exploring your own kind first before jumping to something else (if you're Afghan that is).

I guess i should move :P

Wow! It's been a while since I last visited this village and I didn;t know my post had replies to it. Below is a copy/paste of a reply I wrote in the pashtunlounge in reply to this very same topic:

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I've been looking to get married for a long time now. In regards to race preference, believe me, I'm not racist, and testament to that fact is when I nearly married a Punjabi sister. My main requirements in looking for a soulmate is Islam first, culture second.

I've considered many many sister's and 99% of them have one flaw that I can't stand and that is that they are loose around guys and don't observe the proper Islamic adaab around guys. If I could find a muslimah or ANY race who has a high level of hayaa I would marry her in a second. And I stress this because I'm known in my community for having a great amount of hayaa, to the point that I lost high salary jobs because I wouldn't shake the hands of the opposite gender and I lower my gaze (mind you I'm not rude about it, I tell them in a professional manner, or joke with them and say I can't shake the hands of beautiful women and once they laugh tell them the real reason why). So in addendum to what I wote in my original village entry, if you know of ANY sister who has hayaa, HIT ME UP!

This leads me to the reason why I finally posted asking for a pakhtana. Pakhtanas (even non-religious ones) have a great deal of hayaa as it is a part of our culture. Pakhtanas would rather die then let a parday sardai (non mehram man) touch them.

Finally about people from the motherland of the ones I met, they just don't understand my religious background as most of them are Hanafi and I'm not. And also because I strictly follow the Quran and Sunnah, and have lost so so much materially just because I'm "religious." So back to the main topic, : ) If you know ANYBODY WITH HAYYA, let me know!!!

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Yeah and I agree about the whole online thing, but I'm in such a situation that I don't know of any other way. I guess if I get a contact I could physcially go to the chick's location and make a formal proposal there...

Muslim101: Being latino is easy. A while back a friend was telling me that there are a mother load of salafi muslimahs in houston and he wanted to hook me up. the thing is that most of them don't know any english.

Shedara: You are 100% correct sis, which is why I made my addendum.

What's funny is you make it sound like marrying a desi or an arab would be like settling for takeout instead of a homecooked meal. d

the fact that you said you would 'hate' to marry an arab or desi definitely means it's not the right path for you...

religiously speaking...you're either suppose to marry someone from your culture(reason being, it's easier for you to get along with that person,...hence easier marriage..and blah blah) or someone that's from a completely different culture but who's muslim like you because that causes the ummah to unite more. So If he's looking for pashtun that's cool. I think it's kind of hard to run into a pashtun that's americanized the same way you are(no that's not an insult). What i mean by that is living outside of afghanistan you've retained some aspects of your culture and have acquired some things from the peeps you live around. Things as simple as american or british humor. anyways i just made myself bored with this comment.

Why does it have to be Pashtun? You might be setting a trap for yourself just by focusing on one insignificant point.

look at it this way, it could be worse, You're not a latino muslim :)

Salam :o) The place for you is VA. Although I have relatives in Chicago, they are not that religous. Eventually, you'll find her bro. Salam :o)

1. there's nothing wrong with arabs/'desis', but everyone has their preference, I guess.
2. personally, I don't know of any Pashtanas whose family would be comfortable with her finding a hubby online. In fact, in Pashtoon (and Afghan generally) families it's really looked down upon if a girl finds her own husband, or even, God forbid, mention the fact that she kinda sorta maybe wants to get married.
Soo, yeah, good luck with that.