Village Journals
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Urdu Jokes!
Please share if you have any (decent ones)! Others, feel free to ask if you don't understand any parts of the joke. I am sure we can translate it for you in English...
:)
:)
Comments on this journal
interviewer: Your Name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Tell me properly.
Interviewee: Mohan Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: Your father's name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What dose that mean?
Interviewee: Manmohan Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: Your native place?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
! Interviewer: Madhya Pradesh?
Interviewee: No, Munnur Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: What is your qualification?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer (Angrily): What is it?
Interviewee: Matric Pass.
Interviewer: Why do you need a job?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: And what does that mean?
Interviewee: Money problem, Sir.
Interviewer: Describe your personality.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Explain yourself clearly.
Interviewee: Magnanimous personality, Sir.
Interviewer: This discussion is now over. You may go now.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What is it now?
Interviewee: My performance, Sir?
Interviewer: M.P.!!!
Interviewee: What is that, Sir.
Interviewer: Mentally punctured!
Bushra: M.P joke :)
members: now what is that? :*
Bushra: MERA PASANDEEDAH! lol :)
kuch khud se dhoonti hoon, aur majority log bhaijte hain.....to aise meri collection taro taza rehti hai baray taveel arsay tak :) LOL
Where is this supply coming from? :)
arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin with no space left in it ! When they
opened the lid , they found a letter on top , which read as follows:
"Dear brothers and sisters, I am sending our mother's body to you, since
it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJRAT. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leaves are consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under baa's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 8 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On baa's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes(size 10) for Mohan. Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. baa is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan and the others are for my nephews.Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that baa is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Rema wanted is on baa's left wrist. Shanta Aunty, baa is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them. The 6 white cotton socks that baa is ! wearing must be divided among my teenager nephews. Please distribute all these uniformly and if anything more required tell me now,since our baapu is also not keeping well nowadays."
Father: "In the garden of Eden, kicking it back and eating apples"
:)
A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. When he opened it a genie appeared. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one." The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill.
So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the pavement that would be needed, the ecology that would be disturbed. I am afraid sir, that is just too much to ask"
The man agreed and thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one thing that i have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes them tick?" The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "Do you want that highway with two lanes or four?"
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only ?1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "?70,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking ?950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
He smiles and asks: "Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?"
Nae the na purane the bichrare
Hue masjid se gum joote hamaare
Tha din Juma'a hua jab hadisa ye
buhat se aur bhi the gham ke mare
Khabar hai kia hua jab ghar ko punhche
Paray Begum se jote bas karare
Are bas bhi karo kia jaan lo gi
Lagi kehne wo jote the hamare
Na hote gum agar jote hamare
Na Pit'te ham kabhi qismat ke mare
***Gadi a gay teshan te
peche hut wee mahi
sanu khota weekhan de LOL :)
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi...
Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum ho he nahin!!!------
car mein baithne ke baad, ghar ki taraf aane ke bajay, soche ki paan ki dukaan ho aaate hain.
jab woh paan ki dukaan ke taraf aa rahe the ke, dekha ki ek sher unka peecha kar rahaa hai.
gaadi se utarne ki himmat nahin hui, isiliye tez chalaane lage, lekin sher peecha nahin chor raha tha.
sardaar ke dimaag mein ek idea aaya, left indicator dekar unhon ne right turn kar li, sher left turn karke chala gaya.
thodi der baad dekha ki sher dubaara peeche aa raha tha, ab unhon ne right indicator dekar, left turn kar li, sher dubaara galat turn lekar chala gaya.
phir dekha ki sher peecha kar raha hai, ab gaadi rok li aur passing signal diya, sher overtake chala gaya.
bade pareshaan ghar pahunche, biwi se apna ajeeb sa waqiya bataa rahe the, ki achanak dekha ki sher daudta hua inke paas aa raha hai, chaunke aur kehne lage yehi sher hai.
biwi boli, are aapne aane mein der kar di, isiliye maine apne paapa ko sher ki khaal pehna ke aapke peeche bheja.
aik bus jaa rahi thi jis ki chat ke ooper baithay howay aadmi ne neechay baithay huway aadmi ko awaz lagayee, SHAMSHAAAAD
aik neechay baithay howay aadmi ne apna sar bahar nikala to ooper walay ne is ke sar pe aik chapat lagayee. neechay walay aadmi ne sar andar kar liya.
thori der baad ooper walay ne phir awaz lagayee, SHAMSHAAAAD
neechay baithay huway aadmi ne phir apna sar bahar nikala to ooper walay ne phir chapat sar pe lagayee aur neechay wala phir sar andar kar ke baith gaya.
yeh manzar dekhne ke baad, neechay walay aadmi ke paas baithay howay aadmi ne us se poocha, KIYA TUMHARA NAAM SHAMSHAAD HAI?
us ne jawab diya, NAHI MAI USSAY BEWAQOOF BANA RAHA HOON :) lol :)
Woh ek paanwaale ke paas gaya aur usse apni baat batai.
paanwaale ne kaha yeh to asaan baat hai, main tumhe bataata hoon ki kaise yeh sabit kiya jaye.
Paanwaale ne kaha tum un logon se ek sawaal karna.
Sawaal yeh hai ki, "Mere ghar mein teen log hain, meri Maa, meri biwi aur teesra kaun?"
Agar koi tumse pooche ke kaun hai woh, bas yeh kehna ki "Main".
To woh bewaqoof kisi majme mein jaa pahooncha aur logon se yeh sawaal kiya. bahot-on ne jawwab diya "woh ho tum"
tub woh bewaqoof muskura ke bola "main nahi, woh teesra aadmi hai, paanwaala"
i hope u do get the name right........though u know what......memory is the first thing to go...... :( ha ha ha ha ha....j/k :P