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What would you do?
Why don't we insha'Allah discuss in this topic different situations that we face and unsure about, and maybe we can benefit insha'Allah from each other's feedback and opinions.
Gazaki Allahu khayran Hzma for your response...and the points you make which are worthy of contemplation...What you are saying is in fact true because it is a reality that exists unfortunately...such as with that one organization "Al-fati7a" or something that identifies itself with homosexuality AND Islam ( :( )....how do we deal with such issues?..and how do we communicate with such groups? What are the mechanisms for doing such..?
I guess my point was to emphasize Islam's stance on such deeds and for us to keep that in mind when we are discussing it not to take it lightly...as it is referred to as one of the most corrupt acts, that is stronger than "murder" in Allah's eyes....and that the angeles run away when witnessing such acts out of fear that Allah would demolish the whole place where such acts take place...I worry sometimes about the fate of us living in the U.S. where all sorts of moral corruption exists around us...and may be even affecting us....nas2al Allahu assalam...
As for the punishment....I actually read that the person is to be killed (as opposed to whipped or stoned as u mentioned)...and several ways were mentioned..such as throwing the person from the top of a cliff!
>>>>I had a similar situation once long ago, a friend of mine, after we were in college, confessed to me she was gay. >>>>>>
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Oh my Gosh, was this in Egypt? *:
El mawdoo3 ba2a 3eni 3enak keda henak?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know Hzma, despite my understanding and respect for what you are saying....but my great discomfort with all of this is that this is sounding like the whole American idea of "tolerance" and "acceptance" of the other....let alone on an issue (homosexuality) that has severe reprecussions in the sharee3a...and the sight of Allah...I feel like I need to search for additional solutions..as frankly...I am not satisfied :-
I would really appreciate it if someone can find us some resources on guidelines to deal with someone like that...the scope of the relationship and its parameters...
Back to the topic..
As the prophet (pbuh) taught us, whomever sees a wrongdoing, we need to change it with our hands, if we can't, then with our tongues, then if we can't, then with our hearts, which is the weakest of faiths.
Having said that, I know it's not an easy situation to advise someone about sensitive issues; something I struggle with many times myself.., so may Allah give you the strength and courage insha'Allah to do some good..
In this situation, I think that it is feasible to talk to her about your great discomfort in her talking to you about this relationship because of the apparent problems from the Islamic standpoint (depending on her degree of understanding of things as she may not see any problem with it if she is way liberal), and that you do not want to partake in any act that would encourage something haram.
I would not encourage the friendship path either, as there are limitations in the relationship between men and women in Islam. Dealings having to take place in a limited scope.
Remind her that insha'Allah as promised, if we give up something for the sake of Allah, that Allah will replace it with something much better insha'Allah...like a good husband insha'Allah whom she can enjoy a halal relationship with.
Maybe another entry way to the discussion...is about her reputation as a Muslima...how would she feel if someone sees her..., wouldn't she be concerned? What if words reached her parents?
If there are Islamic activities at the mosque, events for young adults, etc., invite her to attend more often...
If she is serious about this matter, she has to know that as a Muslima, it is unlawful to marry a non-muslim man:
(((((((((And give not (your daughters) in marriage to
Al-Mushrikun till they
believe in Allah alone and verily a believing slave is betterthan a (free) Mushrik, even though he pleases you....)))))))))
...unless he becomes Muslim hopefully based on proper understanding and free-will, and she engages in a relationship with him through the appropriate path of marriage.
*lastly, we should be careful whom we befriend as a person is a reflection of his/her friends...and insha'Allah our friends are those who can help us get closer to Allah, become better people, and not take us down the wrong path...
Of course byou should avoid helping her by giving advise about a relationship. the scholars say there are two approaches for helping someone who is sinful.
1) By showing him/her your disagreement with what what he/she is doing even to the extent of cutting relatinship - if for temporary- if that will get him/her back to the right path, by feeling the pressue. Otherwise, if this will make he more persistent, then the second approach would be better
2) By nice advise and trying to explaining to her what she is doing is wrong.
In any case before that, you need to explain to your friend the severity of her situation. It is known that a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim man, and if she does then her deen is in a great danger. How about dating a non-muslim ?
I think then you can try one of the two approaches, and see that would help her. Otherwise, it would be even dangerous for one's own good to keep a friendship with such a person.
Ok, I have a situation for you guys. I have a muslim friend, she's been a great friend to me. A few months ago she started dating a non-muslim. It started out as she telling me they are just friends. I told her wha I thought about it, and gave her advice that she will only get into trouble by doing this. Now, the relationship has progressed, but she comes to me when they are having problems (just basic relationship problems like jealousy etc..) I give her advice on these situations. I was told that maybe I am gaining zainb as well because I am helping her stay in a 7aram relationship. What do you guys think?
Sigh..
Jazakum Allahu khayran my dear sisters for your precious feedback. I'd like to clarify that elhamdulilah I don't have a problem dealing with anyone, and in the States, we meet all sorts of people from athiests to God-knows-what, and we just need to present ourselves and what being Muslim is about and not worry about anything else...and focus on our work, and not on becoming the best of friends...
In this situation however, it is a very very tight atmosphere, and i was worried that I would get softer with an issue that bothers Allah (swt) from day-to-day close contact, instead of denouncing it strongly for His sake as we are obligated to do even if it is in our hearts...
At any rate, I prayed istikhara, and may Allah guide us all towards what is best insha'Allah....
I say, especially living here in the states, you will face alot of people with different moral values, whether they be homosexual or premescious or whatever. We know these kind of people are wrong, and it is 7aram what they are doing, but what they do behind their closed doors is none of our business. Treat them like you would treat any other person, and dont think too much about why they act a certain way. Just keep it professional. It would be a different story if they overstep their boundaries and ask you out or something. But otherwise, ignore. Good luck!
Here is a situation...
What if there is a position that you have to accept as part of your study requirements, but find that your supervisors, and several employees......are....blatantly and openly homosexual!!!!! *:
I know that living in the States, you have to deal with different types of people...and you just do your work and that's it....but what if I'm not too comfortable being in a position where there is close contact day in and day out!!!
I know that I can just focus on my work...but I'm really uncomfortable.. *: yet, this position is necessary for completion of my studies....what would you do?
Are there any links for how to deal with these things, besides the obvious denouncing their lifestyle in your heart...
Comments on this journal
I guess my point was to emphasize Islam's stance on such deeds and for us to keep that in mind when we are discussing it not to take it lightly...as it is referred to as one of the most corrupt acts, that is stronger than "murder" in Allah's eyes....and that the angeles run away when witnessing such acts out of fear that Allah would demolish the whole place where such acts take place...I worry sometimes about the fate of us living in the U.S. where all sorts of moral corruption exists around us...and may be even affecting us....nas2al Allahu assalam...
As for the punishment....I actually read that the person is to be killed (as opposed to whipped or stoned as u mentioned)...and several ways were mentioned..such as throwing the person from the top of a cliff!
Nas2al Allahu al 3ofow walsalam...
----------
Oh my Gosh, was this in Egypt? *:
El mawdoo3 ba2a 3eni 3enak keda henak?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know Hzma, despite my understanding and respect for what you are saying....but my great discomfort with all of this is that this is sounding like the whole American idea of "tolerance" and "acceptance" of the other....let alone on an issue (homosexuality) that has severe reprecussions in the sharee3a...and the sight of Allah...I feel like I need to search for additional solutions..as frankly...I am not satisfied :-
I would really appreciate it if someone can find us some resources on guidelines to deal with someone like that...the scope of the relationship and its parameters...
---
Back to the topic..
As the prophet (pbuh) taught us, whomever sees a wrongdoing, we need to change it with our hands, if we can't, then with our tongues, then if we can't, then with our hearts, which is the weakest of faiths.
Having said that, I know it's not an easy situation to advise someone about sensitive issues; something I struggle with many times myself.., so may Allah give you the strength and courage insha'Allah to do some good..
In this situation, I think that it is feasible to talk to her about your great discomfort in her talking to you about this relationship because of the apparent problems from the Islamic standpoint (depending on her degree of understanding of things as she may not see any problem with it if she is way liberal), and that you do not want to partake in any act that would encourage something haram.
I would not encourage the friendship path either, as there are limitations in the relationship between men and women in Islam. Dealings having to take place in a limited scope.
Remind her that insha'Allah as promised, if we give up something for the sake of Allah, that Allah will replace it with something much better insha'Allah...like a good husband insha'Allah whom she can enjoy a halal relationship with.
Maybe another entry way to the discussion...is about her reputation as a Muslima...how would she feel if someone sees her..., wouldn't she be concerned? What if words reached her parents?
If there are Islamic activities at the mosque, events for young adults, etc., invite her to attend more often...
If she is serious about this matter, she has to know that as a Muslima, it is unlawful to marry a non-muslim man:
(((((((((And give not (your daughters) in marriage to
Al-Mushrikun till they
believe in Allah alone and verily a believing slave is betterthan a (free) Mushrik, even though he pleases you....)))))))))
...unless he becomes Muslim hopefully based on proper understanding and free-will, and she engages in a relationship with him through the appropriate path of marriage.
*lastly, we should be careful whom we befriend as a person is a reflection of his/her friends...and insha'Allah our friends are those who can help us get closer to Allah, become better people, and not take us down the wrong path...
Wallaho almosta3an insha'Allah..
Of course byou should avoid helping her by giving advise about a relationship. the scholars say there are two approaches for helping someone who is sinful.
1) By showing him/her your disagreement with what what he/she is doing even to the extent of cutting relatinship - if for temporary- if that will get him/her back to the right path, by feeling the pressue. Otherwise, if this will make he more persistent, then the second approach would be better
2) By nice advise and trying to explaining to her what she is doing is wrong.
In any case before that, you need to explain to your friend the severity of her situation. It is known that a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim man, and if she does then her deen is in a great danger. How about dating a non-muslim ?
I think then you can try one of the two approaches, and see that would help her. Otherwise, it would be even dangerous for one's own good to keep a friendship with such a person.
OK Aya, This is my rob3 genieh. :)
Hzma, I like yr advise about da3wah
Ok, I have a situation for you guys. I have a muslim friend, she's been a great friend to me. A few months ago she started dating a non-muslim. It started out as she telling me they are just friends. I told her wha I thought about it, and gave her advice that she will only get into trouble by doing this. Now, the relationship has progressed, but she comes to me when they are having problems (just basic relationship problems like jealousy etc..) I give her advice on these situations. I was told that maybe I am gaining zainb as well because I am helping her stay in a 7aram relationship. What do you guys think?
Jazakum Allahu khayran my dear sisters for your precious feedback. I'd like to clarify that elhamdulilah I don't have a problem dealing with anyone, and in the States, we meet all sorts of people from athiests to God-knows-what, and we just need to present ourselves and what being Muslim is about and not worry about anything else...and focus on our work, and not on becoming the best of friends...
In this situation however, it is a very very tight atmosphere, and i was worried that I would get softer with an issue that bothers Allah (swt) from day-to-day close contact, instead of denouncing it strongly for His sake as we are obligated to do even if it is in our hearts...
At any rate, I prayed istikhara, and may Allah guide us all towards what is best insha'Allah....
I love you all :)
What if there is a position that you have to accept as part of your study requirements, but find that your supervisors, and several employees......are....blatantly and openly homosexual!!!!! *:
I know that living in the States, you have to deal with different types of people...and you just do your work and that's it....but what if I'm not too comfortable being in a position where there is close contact day in and day out!!!
I know that I can just focus on my work...but I'm really uncomfortable.. *: yet, this position is necessary for completion of my studies....what would you do?
Are there any links for how to deal with these things, besides the obvious denouncing their lifestyle in your heart...
SOS