Here is mine.

This happened the summer I was 14. My mother took me to buy my school uniform. The shop was run by an Indian family. We were standing in the queue to pay and one of the dinner ladies from school walked in.

"Akkaaaaaaas!" she said, just like that. Nice lady, but a total chav. I could sense an incident coming on.

My mum being my mum wanted to know what I was like at school. Was I well behaved? Were my friends boys from respectable familes? Was I polite and courteous? Was I good at my studies? Did I turn up to lessons on time? Did I smoke? On and on and on like this.

"Oh, don't worry," the dinner lady said. "He's a lovely boy. Got an eye for the girls he has."

I was so embarassed I didn't know what do or say. So I started talking really loudly about something else. But, of course, the bombshell had been dropped. To make matters worse, the Indian lady behind the counter just looked at my mum as if to say, "What sort of children have you been raising?"

When we got home, my mum said, "So who are these girls?"