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Who Pulls the Trigger?


In break-ups who pulls the trigger (MORE OFTEN) to end the relationship. Men or women?

How many bullets do you unload into the heart? Do you MORE OFTEN break up with kindness or vengeance?

What is the primary reason for the break-up? Money, Family pressure, Re-evaluation of attraction (both physical and mental), Lack of proper attention?

I'm looking for Real Life statistics, not what one should do or not do. Cheers
 

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Login to find out (June 15, 2005 at 8:53pm)
ah, ok, i think as regards who pulls the trigger.. we will have to agree to disagree
 
Login to find out (June 15, 2005 at 8:06pm)
Perfect Storm is when all the multiple factors collide or meet at the same time creating something like a worst case scenario
 
Login to find out (June 15, 2005 at 7:59pm)
hmm.. hopefully not that much like the Perfect Storm: (ie. without the mortal danger): "An unusually intense storm pattern catches some commercial fishermen unaware and puts them in mortal danger"
 
Login to find out (June 15, 2005 at 4:55pm)
Actually I found that the women had a combo of laziness and a 'what can you do? you are stuck with me and have to put up with my sh*t because you can't earn money'. Something like the Perfect Storm. :>)
 
Login to find out (June 15, 2005 at 3:55pm)
irfani, i don't blame you for being confused; the women leave (in cases i know) when they've had enough of the guy's laziness.. in your examples maybe the men met extra nasty/ useless women.. i still think those cases are in the minority.. but growing
 
Login to find out (June 15, 2005 at 2:55pm)
Labs- I'm confused. Do men call it off or the women?
 
Login to find out (June 15, 2005 at 12:57pm)
irfani.. we have a difference of opinion.. in my sample maybe the men call things off less often because the women are generally too nice to leave (controversial!)
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 5:50pm)
Thanks Irfani! I finally got tempted into the 'battle of the sexes' -something i always question. :)
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 5:03pm)
Fairy- that was brilliant! I guess we load the gun. While she holds the gun in her hand threatening, he taunts and challenges her to pull
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 4:29pm)
Though i would still like to stick to my initial stance on the issue that it doesn't have anything to do with gender. But from the empirical evidence of the small sample that we have here, i can hypothesize that its the man who loads the gun so that the woman can pull the trigger and he probably would stay aside from the bullet range too knowing very well the gun is fully loaded:). And wow, he blames it on the woman. After all, she was the one who pulled the trigger. Strategic planning huh! :)
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 2:44pm)
In my first relationship, my first love that is, broke up with me because of his family. They couldnt accept us being together and he didnt have the guts to stand up for us, so we broke up. In my last relationship, I pretty much broke up with him because the relationship was a dead end and one of us was going to do the breaking up, and I went ahead and said good bye. Besides he wasnt exactly what I wanted in a future mate. I think both men and women break up with each other equally and both have different reasons. Mainly in our desi community, I see break ups happen due to family pressure. One of the main reasons why I see men breaking up is because they cant be in a long term relationship, or they are scared of being married or being tied down to one woman for the rest of their lives..it varies..
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 2:19pm)
Wish I knew the answer...let's see what others post.
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 2:12pm)
Soph- I know it happens both ways. I'm looking for some cumulative numbers. Do more women break it up or men?
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 2:01pm)
Again, men or women can pull the trigger if there is enough ammunition, I think. There is an aunty in the community who has cheated on her hubby, who drinks, and who wears skimpy outfits...yeah folks, it's an aunty!...she has grown kids in their late teens...anyhow, her hubby left her a few years ago...wonder why!!! Besharmi ki bhi hadh hoti hai! It happens both ways, folks.
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 1:47pm)
Labs- in a small consensus, I have found at least amoung Muslims, that it was the woman who pulled the trigger, even though she had more to lose in terms of finances (in my small sample, alimony/support was either non-existent or very little due to circumstances). I personally don't know of any Muslim man (other than myself) that left a marriage.
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 1:27pm)
I think.. (and also from what I've heard from men...) men sit around in silence/ or are loudly grumpy when they're upset about a relationship, and wait for the woman to give up and leave.. so in my view even thought the man may ruin the situation and refuse to discuss/ fix it.. it's the woman who gets fed up enough to leave.. I think the person in a relationship who's put through the most $*%! / trials leaves when they have had enough
 
Login to find out (June 14, 2005 at 6:51am)
Mega- intertesting comments. FON- your comment that men don't have the 'guts' to do it . . . I read somewhere that at the end of the day, it is more often women that end it. As emotional as woman can be, the study said that women will be practical about whether the relationship will work, whether or not she is the one with the issues or him. I read this 15 yrs ago.
 
Login to find out (June 13, 2005 at 5:46pm)
i haven't read any of the previous comments so please excuse me if i'm repeating anything that is already said ....but i can only speak for myself.....the reason my past relationships have ended...is quite simple and its due to the fact that the guy never luved me more than i thought he did.....he'd say all the things....or maybe that was they way i was interpreting it.....but when it came to the crunch....he couldnt delivery....so ultimately it was me who called it a day....since i think men in general....don't have the b*lls to do it!
 
Login to find out (June 13, 2005 at 5:35pm)
Men, in most cases, pulls the trigger, more in an execution style ((("Honey, I need to tell you something")).....
Usually, for any respected partner, whoz been shot, all it it need a bullet to end the relationship and sometimes, the glimpse of the gun is more then enough to call it off...........
According to the most recent survey conducted, MONEY is the prime reason for the break ups and divorces. In my opinion,BS. Its never about the money. Its the lack of communication. Its not what we SAY to each other, its what we DON'T say to each other. Slowly slowly, the gap widened and its filled up with soo much stuff that rather then admiting the fault, they blame it on money, looks, or affairs........
 
Login to find out (June 13, 2005 at 5:19pm)
Most cases men pull the trigger by screwing up (or around). Women then end the relationship.