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Why does this happen in a relationship?


When we are attracted to someone, initially its either cos of looks, the persona, intelligence or wit, we never encompass the entire package. Its only later, when we spend time with the person dat we realize, all that glitters is not gold. The closer we get, the more noticeable and obvious the differences become. At times, its difficult to tide over these disparities.

Why does this happen in a relationship? Has it jst happened to me? Or have you all been a witness to something similar too?
 

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Login to find out (January 12, 2007 at 3:10pm)
this does happen in a relationship. It is happening to me right now so to speak. the reason that this happens is that during the first few months of a relationship...it is the so called honeymoon/honey dew period where the romance, love, and excitement of being with someone starts...but as the relationship progresses...the two people get closer in companionship and they discover the true colors such as persona, habits, way of outlook, and views of each other thus the honeydew period wears off then. in the continuity of the relationship, good that we know the true colors of the person and get to know them and like them for who they are.
 
Login to find out (September 10, 2006 at 11:53am)
Jazztune: try it in reverse!!

Talk to that guy who you initially think is a geek, fob, loser etc....

Talk to him long enough and you may realize he is very smart, funny, charming and very loving.

Why do we not see that ever happen?! It our own fault.
 
Login to find out (September 3, 2006 at 9:53pm)
I've seen guys pursue that 'seemingly' perfect girl that all the guys wish they could have but then when they get to know the girl and see taht she is just another human being and not Gods gift to manking, they lose interest. Its all because guys as well as girls often set such high, unrealistic expectations.
 
Login to find out (July 25, 2006 at 1:53am)
personally i notice a lot of those things in the beginning... but once i fall in love, i come to love even those things (or if i dont fall, they tend to drive us apart). i dont think it is about finding a perfect person at all, but one whom you can love for the good and bad. he may not glitter everywhere, but if he glitters in the areas u feel are most important, that is what matters
 
Login to find out (July 5, 2006 at 6:57pm)
In time, even gold stops glittering. Ever notice how some people keep things that are old and tattered, like a baby blanket or first stuffed animal? It's the kinship or feelings that you have about someone (or something) that make the relationship last, not all of the good qualities. Many times, the older things that have lost their shine are the best; they are tried and true.
 
Login to find out (March 31, 2006 at 2:00am)
Jazztune, what you felt is totally natural...nothing worrisome...for it is only with time that a person unveils himself or herself. That's why there is the engagement period, or dating as with the non-Muslims, to spend time to really get to know the person and see if their values/vision in life is similar to yours.

What you are finding that not all glitter is gold is just simply due to not meeting the right person yet..
 
Login to find out (March 20, 2006 at 5:14pm)
No one is perfect and loving someone means seeing and accepting the imperfectness of the person. The more time you spend and the more you talk ofcourse your going to realize things you like and dislike about the person but at the same time if that person is a good catch and has a good character which is hard to find these days...then you should focus on the stronger and more important accepts and work things out with the dislikes....i am sure he or she feels the same way.
 
Login to find out (February 28, 2006 at 3:09am)
...seems like you are only looking at yourself, while with the other person. Rule number 1...you cannot do that, in any relationship, let alone a personal one..A relationship is always about someone else. So it seems, you will have to step out in the real world, inoder for someone to find you. :(
 
Login to find out (February 13, 2006 at 1:06pm)
Well hopefully as you become older and wiser you learn to get to know someone for who they are and not who you think they are before giving your heart to them.