excellent question

My views:

Why is the Muslim world so brutally chauvanistic?

Insecurity (the need to control others to feel valued/important/superior). A lack of confidence and self-trust. Fear of not being able to handle things on one's own (if they were to permit independence to their partner, would their partner still love them? Fear of rejection which in the end boils down to fear of not being able to "handle" that rejection. (The rejection that might not even happen)).

The confusion between "need" and "love". The thinking being that if I stop my partner from working/being independent, she will "need" me to earn money to feed her/family. The fact that I do this proves that i "love" her. I guess I would say a similar thing from a woman's perspective who was submissive: The fact that I do what he says shows that I "love" him. I "need" his approval/acceptance to prove my self as a "loving" human being. if i question things, rock the boat, he may "reject" me. I don't think I can handle that.

The above beliefs are rampant amongst every society/religion/culture, not just muslims. In order to keep that little box that they have created to keep them comfortable, people use all sorts of things (including the selective applications of so called "islamic" literature) to support/control the boundaries of that box. "God says what i'm doing is "right", if you question me you are questioning God." Humans have this knack for using something greater than themselves to prove that their actions are ok. What could be a greater authority than God?

How do we change things for the better?

Education/dialogue. In islam we are taught to seek knowledge constantly throughout life. If we are constantly seeking knowledge and accept the new knowledge gained, we grow/change. Most people are not comfortable with change so use various strategies to stop/prevent change in their life. The terms "right" and "wrong," in some cases, are completly subjective. It must be remebered that, as humans we are blessed with free will and we don't have to accept new knowledge as "truth" if we don't want to. People (both men and women) are free to see the new knowledge as "right" or "wrong." A lot of people are not conciously aware that they have that choice. Mere reading of new ways of looking things isn't going to automatically change a person! It has to be conciously chosen to be accepted and then applied.

Making that knowledge accessible to the world and providing an environment that is safe, free from judgement where people's views are respected and so allowing growth to occur may be part of the answer.

I guess the starting point would be ourself, then our families, friends, colleagues etc... For if we are not confident secure in ourselves, how can we teach others.
Backing your views up with "sacred" literature gives more pursuading power to the way of life that you choose to lead. If that way of life is fairer and more just for every human on the planet (male/female) wouldn't you want to pass it on to future generations? Not just your children but other people's children too. Humans require justifations of your actions to consider them valuable. Surely if people can "prove" that God permits chauvinism, its not so hard to "prove" otherwise.

In the end though chauvanism/submissivness or not its their choice.

Oops, i've just realised how long this is!!!