? What do you expect from such simple creatures!?
? Your last name stays put.
? The garage is all yours.
? Wedding plans take care of themselves.
? Chocolate is just another snack.
? You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
? Car mechanics tell you the truth.
? You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
? Same work, more pay.
? Wrinkles add character.
? Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
? People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
? The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
? New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
? One mood, ALL the time.
? Phone conversations are over in 3.0 seconds flat.
? A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
? You can open all your own jars.
? You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
? Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
? Everything on your face stays its original color.
? Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
? You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
? You almost never have strap problems in public
? You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
? The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
? You don't have to shave below your neck.
? Your belly usually hides your big hips.
? One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
? You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
? You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
? You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
and last but not least, You never have to put the tiolet seat down.