Would you...

Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 1:10pm)

Once you get burned by the one you lust(ed) for, thats all it takes to come down to earth.

Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 10:09am)

i want LUST.. d*mnit... not LOVE.. LUST! and you know you want that too dal.. dont front.. forget love! hahahhahaa...

Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 10:08am)

Dude Areen, how pointless is your marriage going to feel if you don't love the person....omg, i do like the idea of an arranged marriage...but damn I REALLY hope there is some type of love involved...otherwise its just like your going through the motion of life..feeling no emotion...seems pointless..

Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 8:25am)

besides... dal.. who needs love? we just need lust ;) the rest is whatever.. lol.

Login to find out (May 16, 2005 at 7:31am)

i can see me loving the person afterrr the marriage.. i dont think id pass off a marriage b/c im not in love with the person... it mite sound 'wrong', esp in the western society we live in that tells us otherwise, but i think being rational is far more important that emotional.... think about it.. if the situation presented before you is a good solid one, then go for it... love and appreciation will follow......

Login to find out (May 15, 2005 at 3:49am)

I don't have any problems with an arranged marriage, as even in other circumstances you don't really pick someone. You're either introduced to them by a mutual friend or happen to be studying the same course at college let's say. I do believe if a marriage is arranged there should definitely be a descent engagement period; say of 3 months or even longer. Only then can you have an idea of who you're marrying, by seeing how they interact with their family and friends, and what their likes and dislikes are.

Login to find out (May 14, 2005 at 10:48pm)

All good comments, and AIM, i'll look into that conference, it looks really good...im more just wondering how is marriage supposed to be enjoyable if you do not have any love...or lust for a person...what about arranged marriages??? I think their great...however, how does something like that withstand the trials and tribulations of marriage, when you initally didn't pick who you wanted...if you don't love them..

Login to find out (May 14, 2005 at 7:53am)

I think we must distinguish between love and lust, that is the key. To love someone takes time and a lot of patience.

Login to find out (May 13, 2005 at 12:39am)

IMO, love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance from the relationship and find that you still care about that person. Mix in passion and romance, and its pure nirvana. You know you are in love when more than anything, you want to be with and share life experiences with that person. At this level, its all about compatibility - looks dont matter much. You want someone to spend your life with and you want to support (and be supported by) your partner during the most testing of times. I am grateful to Allah that I have recognised the true meaning of being "in love", and that its not just a purely physical thing. Some people spend their entire life without ever being able to distinguish between love and lust. To answer your original question, I am not in favor of blind hookups. If my parents suggest someone as a prospective mate, I would ask for some time to talk to and know more about that prospective life partner.

Login to find out (May 13, 2005 at 12:39am)

I would marry someone I didnt love, becuase I know I would learn to love her if I married her for hte right reasons. I could learn to love her for her deen, for the fact that she respects me, for the fact that she makes sacrafices wiht me. For any kind of love, there most be compatablity. Dhalia..if you are interested in seeking knowledge about this. There is a class called Fiqh of Love(marriage in Islam) taught my Shaykh Yaser Berjas (he graduated from al madinah univ as the valedictorian of his class 1996)and he is teaching it in New Jersey, on Nov 11-13/18-20. You can go to www.almaghrib.org and see the flier. I think it would be beneficial. Actually I jsut came from meeting the shaykh tonight and mashallah he is a very knowledgable scholar.

Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 9:27pm)

Qrizwan, I suppose my question is...purely hypothetical by the way, just out of curosity......how comfortable would you be marrying someone you knew (spoken to before) yet were not in love with. Growing up in America, your bombarded with the "fantasy" of falliing in love and marrying, but how realistic is that? Would you honestly marry someone you didn't love?

Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 9:20pm)

i would love to marry someone I like but not necessarily love. cause i would rather let the love grow after marriage. Fatassdal, are you asking there can't be love btw individuals or there isn't but there isn't because they don't know each other well yet?

Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 7:10pm)

how does a marriage survive if there is no love? What makes you want to be with the person?

Login to find out (May 12, 2005 at 5:46pm)

marriage is a contract between two separate entities. you can marry and divorce at will. the concept of love has brainwashed many muslims in western societies as they strive towards the judeo-christian ideal of marriage as a sacrament under God.

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